creager19898 Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 ok so me and my ex broke up 3 months ago and it ended pretty bad. i was verbally mean to her, and i said i hated her. its really confusing too me that she would still go to the bar, that she knows is my regular place. wouldnt she wanna be far away from me and not wanna see me? anyways she is back with her ex boyfriend, and she is coming to this bar everyday, and its really starting to piss me off. im sure as heck not going to stop going there, but i wish she would stop. ive even asked her to stop and she said no, she will go anywhere she pleases. like i said before it ended badly between us and youd think she wouldnt wanna go to a place she knows im at. is she trying to shove that fact that she is with her ex boyfriend again in my face? or am i just thinking too much?
BustedUpInside Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 ive even asked her to stop and she said no, she will go anywhere she pleases. like i said before it ended badly between us and youd think she wouldnt wanna go to a place she knows im at. is she trying to shove that fact that she is with her ex boyfriend again in my face? or am i just thinking too much? I think that you might have a little bit of tunnel vision where this is concerned. I know how hard it is to try and consider the feelings of the other person in the break up, but let me play devil's advocate for a moment and tell you what I think is probably going on in your ex's head. She is probably very hurt over the bad way that the relationship ended and the hurtful things that you admit that you said to her. She is trying to move on and be happy but you won't let her. You are still trying to control her behavior. Maybe she thinks that bar is "her" space and you are invading it. She wants to go somewhere with her new boyfriend and have a few drinks, and instead she gets you asking her to stay away. If it were me, I would be upset because if it is really that big of a deal to you then you should find a new spot and leave me alone. That being said, I can totally understand how frustrating it is that you feel that you are being blocked from a place that used to make you happy. Maybe you could be happier at a new place though? Somewhere that doesn't have negative associations and where you won't have to be nervous that you might run into your ex and exchange any more nasty words.
Author creager19898 Posted May 29, 2013 Author Posted May 29, 2013 Her ex whom she is with again was physically abusive, I saw it with my own eyes. I'm 24 and she is 21. I've been going to the bar for 3 years. I haven't talked to her in a week and probably won't ever again. Maybe I should just give up. Who cares if she is there. I just dont know how to not feel for her.
BustedUpInside Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 I am definitely not saying you shouldn't be upset. I would be upset too if suddenly a favorite hang out of mine was being "taken over" by an ex. I just don't think you should make it a big deal and get yourself worked up about it. It's not worth it in the long run. If she wants to have that bar, give it to her! You want a place where you can go and have fun, without having your night spoiled by seeing the ex with a new person. I am sorry if I didn't seem very sympathetic to your situation . I just wanted to give you her perspective so you could see why she wasn't willing to just go somewhere else. If she is going to make it a sticking point, my advice is to just find a new favorite spot. Good luck!!
Author creager19898 Posted May 29, 2013 Author Posted May 29, 2013 I love her. Plus I can not allow her to get to me like this, but she does. Maybe if I wasn't such a shy guy I'd have another girl to take my feeling away. It's all false hopes it would seem. Go to the guy whom hits you, because the bruises will go away, but stay away from the guy with a mean mouth, because words leave a bruise that never heals. Complete bs ha
Author creager19898 Posted May 29, 2013 Author Posted May 29, 2013 By the way she looks happier than she has ever been, she's moved on and I'm stuck in the seven layers of hell.
crederer Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 I wouldn't let it show that it bothers you. Just buck up when she's around don't give her the satisfaction.
aisuru Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Uhhh, why would you want to go to that bar right now? Stop being stubborn. Let her be stubborn. Look, I love total dive bars. My favorite one is 3 or 4 blocks from my house and I used to go there, all the damn time. I met my ex there over a year ago. The night we met was literally that scene from a movie where eyes lock across the bar, then quickly look away. Guess how many times I've walked into that bar since we split? And believe me, I've been tempted but I do not want to bump into him there. That was MY bar. Oh man, now I can't stop thinking of him on the bar stool that night.
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