J_L_C Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Why do our "dumper exes" feel it's ok to engage in "ex-sex"? Do they not realize how much it disrespects us? They are knowingly taking advantage of our feelings for them, while its only the physical act for them. In the case of my ex, he'd be all sweet and "wanting to catch up", but when he left he'd go back to ignoring me. It finally got to a point where he was no longer interested in having meaningless sex because I was still attached emotionally. Was it any surprise to him?! Duh!!
Zahara Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Because it's easy and available. Too much work to go out and find new prospects so why not get the sex from someone they know will put out because they're still emotional.
thefooloftheyear Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Its an immature way of dealing with things..No self respecting person(man or woman) will knowingly use their ex for sex after they are broken up.. But some do, and that is unfortunate... TFY 1
Author J_L_C Posted May 29, 2013 Author Posted May 29, 2013 After what my ex did, it's no surprise he used me!!!!
aisuru Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Lots of exes don't have ex sex. Some of it is what you, as the dumpee, puts out there. Some of it is who you dated. You have the power in deciding whether to have the ex sex too you know. You're not their pawn. 1
Author J_L_C Posted May 29, 2013 Author Posted May 29, 2013 When dumped you also don't know where you're next sex will be and sometimes you just need it lol. But often it's not worth the price you pay.
thefooloftheyear Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 When dumped you also don't know where you're next sex will be and sometimes you just need it lol. But often it's not worth the price you pay. Often?? How about never!! Stop obsessing...You gotta put this shyt behind you already,, TFY 1
Simon Phoenix Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Because they enjoy sex, you are an easy target and they don't care how it affects you. 1
flitzanu Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 takes two to tango. if someone dumps you and you let them bang you, kinda on you for allowing it. 5
TaraMaiden Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 I think you'll find it's impossible for them to have 'ex-sex' if you keep your legs closed, say no - and mean it...... 4
BustedUpInside Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 I think that some dumpers miss the emotional bonds that they had with the dumpees but don't want the relationship. They just want the quick fix, and probably don't even consider that it might be hurting the dumpee because they have made it clear that it is just a physical thing. You, as the dumpee, have to set the standards for how the break up works. A person can only treat you how you allow. You are the boss, and you call the shots. I like thinking about being the boss, because it allows some control that I felt was taken away during the dumping process. I would never sleep with an ex, but that is usually only because I have listed all the reasons why they suck in my head to get over the break up and so suddenly they just don't seem very attractive to me anymore 1
destroyed4sho Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Why do our "dumper exes" feel it's ok to engage in "ex-sex"? Do they not realize how much it disrespects us? They are knowingly taking advantage of our feelings for them, while its only the physical act for them. In the case of my ex, he'd be all sweet and "wanting to catch up", but when he left he'd go back to ignoring me. It finally got to a point where he was no longer interested in having meaningless sex because I was still attached emotionally. Was it any surprise to him?! Duh!! Cmon, JLC, your still on this same question. Its been months and your still asking the same ex questions?????? He just used you for SEX, DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, PERIOD. THE GUY IS A DOUCHE, HAD NOOOO RESPECT FOR YOU AND NEVER WILL...WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR YOU TO ACCEPT THAT AS TRUTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH???? 1
crederer Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Maybe a better question would be, why do YOU have sex with him? Unless he's doing it at gun point you're as much to blame. Most guys will take easy sex from a person they are comfortable with. He did, I do too sometimes. 2
SuperGeek Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 My ex is a female and tried to lure me back into her spidey web with casual sex. I told her NO and then proceeded to say "Don't ever contact me again". Yeah I'm male too. Yeah I know it's hard to believe. Believe it. You couldn't pay me enough to have sex with her again. She doesn't get to experience sex with me again EVER. She lost the privileges when she broke my heart by walking out the door to hook up with a dirt bag. Yeah and this was three years ago. I'm over it now, but you know what, I'll never forget the hurt I went through for several years getting over what she put me through. Beware of your EX trying to lure you back in years later. They show up when you least expect it. Don't get involved with them if they really hurt you bad! 2
metal_chick Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Because. They're. A. Jerk. JLC, your ex is a JERK! Stop trying to find reason and meaning in his jerkiosity. Move on!
Author J_L_C Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 My ex is a female and tried to lure me back into her spidey web with casual sex. I told her NO and then proceeded to say "Don't ever contact me again". Yeah I'm male too. Yeah I know it's hard to believe. Believe it. You couldn't pay me enough to have sex with her again. She doesn't get to experience sex with me again EVER. She lost the privileges when she broke my heart by walking out the door to hook up with a dirt bag. Yeah and this was three years ago. I'm over it now, but you know what, I'll never forget the hurt I went through for several years getting over what she put me through. Beware of your EX trying to lure you back in years later. They show up when you least expect it. Don't get involved with them if they really hurt you bad! This will NEVER happen for me. In fact, I don't know many people it DOES happen to.
SuperGeek Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 (edited) Trust me. I used to say the SAME thing too. My theory for why it happened to me was that the relationship I had with my ex wasn't really that bad for her. I think she realized she screwed up and threw away something really good over just physical lust and listening to her stupid girlfriends. She tried to get me back a YEAR and a HALF later. Her attempt was met by a nice rejection from me after about a week of talking on the phone. So glad I didn't get back with her... I realize now she wasn't trying to get back with ME, but rather just a human male body that she could trust enough to fill a void for awhile -- She was trying to use me for emotional support temporarily before running off again. You can believe it will never happen. I said the same thing too for almost two years. This will NEVER happen for me. In fact, I don't know many people it DOES happen to. Edited May 31, 2013 by SuperGeek
Leigh 87 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 They have ex sex because they want to have sex with you, because they have not met anyone else they like yet, they are still single, and there are no women around them that they can get sex from without having to go out and find them. You do it because you still love them or still have some sort of feelings for them, you enjoy sex with them and you cannot resist. My ex was a jerk but even he refused ex sex because even an imbecile like him could see that it was "wrong" Although you're ex is not concerned about your feelings. He would not consider for a second how you feel or how your affected by it. Your ex is the very worst kind of guy. He has no dignity integrity or much respect for women. No decent guy would act like your ex.
Author J_L_C Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 They have ex sex because they want to have sex with you, because they have not met anyone else they like yet, they are still single, and there are no women around them that they can get sex from without having to go out and find them. You do it because you still love them or still have some sort of feelings for them, you enjoy sex with them and you cannot resist. My ex was a jerk but even he refused ex sex because even an imbecile like him could see that it was "wrong" Although you're ex is not concerned about your feelings. He would not consider for a second how you feel or how your affected by it. Your ex is the very worst kind of guy. He has no dignity integrity or much respect for women. No decent guy would act like your ex. Did you read my post about what he did upon our breakup?
Leigh 87 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Did you read my post about what he did upon our breakup? Yes. He wanted sex and he jerked off. I think he is a sociopath or a narcissist, personally. If he is able to care so little about a women he was close with, I doubt he has any integrity, self respect or empathy for people. You see, decent men do not act like this. They don't. And I have been with a jerk before, but the way this guy does NOT care about you even one little bit, is quiet alarming. I would not waste more time trying to understand this monster. I also talk about my ex but I know I need to stop even mentioning my past with them. I think it is time for us both to put a stop to even bringing these jerks up (our exes) Look, just don't let a guy use you for sex. Simple. You do not need to talk about it, you just need to NOT let it happen to you.
Author J_L_C Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 Yes. He wanted sex and he jerked off. I think he is a sociopath or a narcissist, personally. If he is able to care so little about a women he was close with, I doubt he has any integrity, self respect or empathy for people. You see, decent men do not act like this. They don't. And I have been with a jerk before, but the way this guy does NOT care about you even one little bit, is quiet alarming. I would not waste more time trying to understand this monster. I also talk about my ex but I know I need to stop even mentioning my past with them. I think it is time for us both to put a stop to even bringing these jerks up (our exes) Look, just don't let a guy use you for sex. Simple. You do not need to talk about it, you just need to NOT let it happen to you. How long ago did you and your ex split?
Leigh 87 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 How long ago did you and your ex split? Long enough ago lol. he was a jerk too, but seriously your ex is one of the nastiest I have read about on here! There is a poster called Mishy - she remained loyal and let her ex use her for sex for FIVE. YEARS. Please read her threads. Her ex was a sociopathic liar. He had no feelings and he lied to her about moving, starting new jobs, and seeing new people. Some people are cold and callous and they have no feelings, basically. Count yourself lucky that he is your ex. And search for Mishys threads. Do you want to be used for sex for 5 years?
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