AloneInParadise Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Some of you know my story, and like the title says, "I should not ever of given her a second chance". It's been 8 days today no contact and I miss her as much this time as the first. When she first left she couldn't go this long without crying and running back to me. That is over and we are done for good now. Why did I let her back only to come in and stick the knife a little deeper? I feel like I let her off the hook with all of her pain and guilt by letting her come back. Now I feel as if she is certain this is what she wants, meanwhile leaving me with all this lonelyness, confusion, and pain. Ofcourse I use LS as a place to vent and get comfort, but in know way am I the guy to be begging and pleading. I didn't do it the first time and I certainly won't contact her this time. I will NOT reach out to her and she will think I am fine, or at least wonder and think about me as I do her. For all I know she is in immense pain as well. We both lost our best friend and that isn't easy for anyone.
CelticGibson Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Keep venting and pleading and begging but do it here. Keep it all here and use this site as your journal to get these feelings out. People are here to let you know that you are not alone in how you feel, all of us feel or felt the same at some point. The thing to remember is that she gave up her best friend, it wasn't a loss you both shared. She was happy enough to walk away from all that was important to you. So you are feeling the loss and she isn't. If she were, she would not have left. At least you know now and that is a good thing. All you have to do now is trash that little bit of hope because of all the emotions you are likely to feel, hope is the worst. Walk away and stay No Contact and in time you will look back on all these posts and wonder how you could have felt this way...
mammasita Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 I feel your pain. Although I didn't let my ex come back - we did hook up and for me, being as emotionally charged as I am - I'm back at square one, like its the day he broke up with me the first time.
Mack05 Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 This is not about you being a 'hard' guy or punishing her. This is about you both having space so that if you do get back together, that you understand what went wrong last time and put things in place to right the previous wrongs. You need time and space to figure those things out. Flowers, crying, begging is not going to fix anything. I know you don't want to go back to the club scene, but if you go back the high likely hood is that she will leave again at some stage if you reconcile now. Yes being single at 32 sucks, but how will single at 34? 35? 36? 37 be?. She is emotionally all over the place. Because of this, any promises she makes are empty one's. They can't be trusted, she can't be trusted. Time and space will allow all those emotions to settle. If you both love each other, you will find a way back to each other. If this girl let you alone for 3-6 months and waited for you to make contact, I would say go for it! The fact she can't respect your boundaries tells me her love is a selfish kind of love... I would proceed with real caution here if I were you.. See my post in your other thread above. Those kind of posts above, are the reason I don't really post here anymore. It doesn't matter how good or structured the advice you give is, people with broken hearts simply cannot truly absorb the message that has is been given to them. You can prove a million ways that the stove is hot, but people will still reach out and touch it, just to be 100% sure. Sadly many here (me too) have had to learn a very hard lesson before finally getting the message..Sadly many more will learn the hard way too thinking that they are the exception and not the rule.. I hope things work out for you in future mate... 1
Giha Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 My ex never came back, but this kind of threads make me wonder what I'd do if she did... I'm sorry you are going through this. At least now you know its not going to work no matter what. Try to keep your head up and if you ever feel like contacting her just post here first. It gets better, even if we can't see that from where we stand at the moment.
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