thr1986 Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 I met a girl on match.com. We went on an initial date to meet one another and it went very well. We both liked each other, conversation was totally effortless and we have a lot in common. Went to the same college, professional aspirations, family, ect. So, I asked her out again and we went to dinner, again everything went great. We met at the restaurant, ate and then both left seperaty. We texted each other some in the following days and I asked her out again. This time we went to dinner at a different place, and I felt this was our best date yet. They've all been good, but this time we really clicked even more and I think she felt the same way. At this point we have been on two actual dates and one meeting (quick drink when we first met each other). Our most recent date was last Thursday and we both went out separate ways after dinner but like I said, it was a great date. She texted me on Saturday evening seeing what I was doing, but I was out of town. I want her to know I like her. Is it too early for me to send her flowers at work? I can be a bit of a romantic, and don't want to do anything too soon. Is this too much? 1
MidwestUSA Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Is she the romantic type? If so, yes, but keep them simple, NO ROSES! If I were her, I'd love it, but I'm interested to see the opinions of those here who disagree with me, LOL! 1
Author thr1986 Posted May 29, 2013 Author Posted May 29, 2013 Also, both dates I've offered to pick her up but she always says she will just meet me there. I'm assuming this may be because we met on match.com. I can understand why she would rather meet there, but should I worry about this? I feel like maybe our next date should be something different other than dinner. We're starting to get to know each other better. As far as physical contact goes, the most we have done is hug goodbye. If she would allow me to pick her up and drop her off after a date that would allow me to at least kiss her goodbye... I'd like to bring things to that level. Any suggestions?
clia Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 I think it is too soon for flowers at work. I have no idea where she works, but when you get flowers at work, suddenly all attention is on you and everyone wants to know who bought the flowers. She may not be ready to discuss your two dates with her coworkers. She may also not like getting flowers at work because she may want to keep her private life private. Too big of a risk, IMO. If, however, she agrees to let you pick her up for your next date, I see nothing wrong with you bringing a small bouquet of pretty spring flowers. (No roses!)
Star Gazer Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 She hasn't let you pick her up for any of these dates, and it doesn't sound like there's been anything physical, like kissing or making out. As such, I'd say it's too soon for flowers at work. If you want to bring a few for the next date (assuming she lets you pick her up), I'd do that. But don't send them to work.
Cutiepie1976 Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Agree. No flowers at work! Besides if she won't let you know where she lives, how are you getting her work address? Save the flowers for the first time you do pick her up. That will be very nice. Since she won't have you pick her up yet, why not give her the option of dropping by your place. For example, pick an activity near your house. In passing, mention that if she likes, she can drive to your place and you can then go together, or you can both just drive separately to the activity. Also, just because you aren't meeting her at her house doesn't mean you can't kiss her at the end of a date, or in greeting her when you meet. (Start with an end of date kiss.) Otherwise, lots of positives in what you are doing. Agree that it's time to do something other than dinner. Have any mutual interests come up in conversation that could make for a fun date?
kassy Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Flowers at work... NO! She might love them... She might hate them! It's not the flowers as cila says its the attention from the office busy bodies.
veggirl Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 WAY too soon. It makes you look clingy and it just reeks of an attempt at jumping into an "insta-relationship"...esp when you haven't even KISSED! first things first man...kiss her. no gifts yet.
MidwestUSA Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Oh boy, I stand corrected. Not at WORK, everyone here is right. I'm on the side of something really simple IF she lets you pick her up. I'm going back to eat my words now, I must have been short one cup of coffee! 1
Shepp Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Too soon for flowers - no. too soon for flowers at work - I think so! Just buy her a some really nice flowers next time you see her! 1
FemmeMystere Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 I'd hold off on the flowers at this point (and definitely don't send them at work, too soon!) Wait a few more dates, until she shows more interest in you (letting you pick her up at home etc). She's not quite comfortable with you yet. You don't want come across as trying too hard to win her over by buying her things. That said, flowers are nice, but if you really want to make an impression, give her something a bit more thoughtful, but less traditionally romantic. Find out what her hobbies and interests are, and give her a small gift that's related to that. For example, if she says she likes dolphins, get her a tiny dolphin figurine. If she mentions losing her favorite pen, you can surprise her with a new one. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant, just something small to show that you remember what she likes, because you like her 2
Mint Sauce Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 I got my gf a sunflower on our first date (neutral meeting place, after some chatting/e-mailing). It was very well received
Jane2011 Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 IMO, definitely too soon for flowers at work. Arguably too soon for flowers at all. At most, I'd give her one flower on the next date
Phantom888 Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 No flowers at work! I think some fresh flowers from Trader Joes is nice. Roses if you feel intense desire.
Lalababy Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 First Ask her what her favorite color is. Then send her that color flowers or roses. I think that's a great idea I would love that to just know that somebody would go out of her way and that they're thinking of me. It will definitely bring a smile to her face. Go for it. Also as far as the date thing goes The great way to have fun and get to know each other would be like a family fun center. Where you get to play laser tag go karts, ect. Or a carnival/fair. I don't know where you live so it would depend on your area. Venice Beach Santa Monica. Take her bowling. miniature golf. Somewhere were you guys will laugh a lot. Good luck! !
FitChick Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Schedule a weekend day time date with some activity even if it's only going to the local museum or beach or whatever. Then if it goes well, it could progress to dinner. You would each go home to change and shower and you could say, "What time shall I pick you up?" She doesn't want you to know where she lives because most guys would go for sex right away. Just continue being nice, step up the physical touching, holding her arm or hand, giving her hugs where appropriate (if you went bowling and either of you got a strike, you could hug her out of excitement).
Cutiepie1976 Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 I would be careful about pushing continually to go over to her place when she has declined your suggestion twice. When she's comfortable, she'll suggest something. There is no absolute timetable for this. The surest way to create resistance and to place distance in a budding relationship, possibly tip the tide against yourself, is to push and pressure someone when she's indicated she isn't yet comfortable with something. Respect her boundaries. She'll invite you over to pick her up or whatever when she's ready. Obviously, since you've asked twice, you'd like to see at least her front door. No secret where you stand on that front! No secret how she feels either. So drop it and wait or go find someone else.
Recommended Posts