Mornings and weekends are my worst times

[hayewils]

Since my wife left two months ago, i have a hard time with mornings and weekends. I guess mornings cause im sleeping in a bed, alone and i usually dream of her. Later in the day i feel fine. Weekends are tough cause im off, shes off and i constantly drive myself nuts wondering what shes doing.

Been a week since i stopped trying to talk to her. I know shes done with me and its hard to accept. I wish i would stop feeling this way in the mornings.

I hate waking up. Does anyone have any good advice that may help me with this problem?

[Emilia]

Since my wife left two months ago, i have a hard time with mornings and weekends. I guess mornings cause im sleeping in a bed, alone and i usually dream of her. Later in the day i feel fine. Weekends are tough cause im off, shes off and i constantly drive myself nuts wondering what shes doing.

Been a week since i stopped trying to talk to her. I know shes done with me and its hard to accept. I wish i would stop feeling this way in the mornings.

I hate waking up. Does anyone have any good advice that may help me with this problem?

It's tough but it will get better. Unfortunately you have allow it to take its natural course.

 

Taking up new hobbies and catching up with people you haven't seen for a while would help your mood during weekends greatly though.

[hayewils]

I just feel myself on the edge of a major breakdown.

[123pgjes]

Hey there

 

I know it does not make you feel better hearing it, but it does get better.

 

You will have relapses, but the moments of depression will be less frequent.

 

Keep yourself busy, meet up with friends, go undertake a hobby. All the things you could not do when you were with her.

 

I too went through this. 4 months now, it does get better.

[Emilia]

I just feel myself on the edge of a major breakdown.

You have to get out more. As in 'literally'. You have to leave the house more, be out in the fresh air, exercise, see friends, meet new people

[hayewils]

Dont have many friends. I try to stay busy at the house, always have things ro do there. I am so irratic with everything. This past weekend i put my entertainment center back in its place. I find myself doing 100 things at once. I have unfinished things everywhere. Gonna take time before i can get myself to relax. Sleep is not good. I usually wake up,midnight, 2:00 am,3 am and im wide awake. Sleep, if im lucky, 5 hours every night. Then im up, pacing the house.

[Emilia]

Dont have many friends. I try to stay busy at the house, always have things ro do there. I am so irratic with everything. This past weekend i put my entertainment center back in its place. I find myself doing 100 things at once. I have unfinished things everywhere. Gonna take time before i can get myself to relax. Sleep is not good. I usually wake up,midnight, 2:00 am,3 am and im wide awake. Sleep, if im lucky, 5 hours every night. Then im up, pacing the house.

You need to get your social life back on track. It's much more distracting that playing with a sound system. It doesn't matter that you don't have many friends. Go and see the ones you have

[hayewils]

Oh i do. I go visit the ones i have. Go visit my sister..

Putting the entertain

Entertainment center is part of an ongoing project. Had water damage ans just had new floors installed. So, lot of work to get house back in order where im comfortable. But definatly want to meet new people. Will get out this weekend

[tinam]

Since my wife left two months ago, i have a hard time with mornings and weekends. I guess mornings cause im sleeping in a bed, alone and i usually dream of her. Later in the day i feel fine. Weekends are tough cause im off, shes off and i constantly drive myself nuts wondering what shes doing.

Been a week since i stopped trying to talk to her. I know shes done with me and its hard to accept. I wish i would stop feeling this way in the mornings.

I hate waking up. Does anyone have any good advice that may help me with this problem?

 

I know exactly what you mean. Its only been 3 weeks since my husband left me for OW. I still haven't even slept in our bed. Don't even go in the room if i don't have to. When im finally able to fall asleep i pray i don't get woke up because then the memories come that he's gone and what he's doing. Same with days off. I picture what he's doing and with her when he should be with me. Its torture. I don't have many friends either. He was my everything sad to say i guess. I luckily have my sister who has been a lifesaver. When the walls are closing in i go there vent lay by her pool. Exercise too. It really does help. Journal. I constantly write in that thing. The second i have a mad sad whatever feeling i grab it and write like crazy. Some of it you can barely read. I keep hearing its gonna get better. I believe it i guess. Cause some days i feel it others i think no possible way. Rollercoaster.Change your living room around from what it was. That's what i did. That helped. Just needed it to be different. Get a punching bag! Just little things that help so very little. But baby steps i guess. Im so sorry we're all going through this. Sucks so bad! Hugs

[GuyInLimbo]

hayewils, do you have any local community colleges or something nearby? A YMCA? SIGN UP FOR CLASSES! Sign up for a cooking class. Take that creative writing class you always thought of. Join a Masters swim team. Take up karate. VOLUNTEER someplace! Get a dog. Or a fish (easier). You absolutely NEED to get your arse out of the house. You can keep busy at home, but it's simply not the same. You need interpersonal interaction and different types of stimulation.

 

Don't rely on the bars. Not a great environment to "find yourself."

 

Tinam, this applies to you, too.

 

And you both MUST be in therapy. If you're not, pick up the damn phone TODAY and make an appt. Please.

[hayewils]

You know, ive thought of changing things around in my house too.

Unfortunatly, theres limites things i can do but moving the bedroom around might work, and be good.

Ive done one small therapy session, just dont have time. Ive got bills and kids to feed. Dont want to take off from work. Only time is gonna heal me. Im definatly not going to bars. Wrong place to be and i dang sure dont want to meet anyone there. But i know what you mean tinam, i have trouble with the thoughts too. It is torture. I just start trying to focus on other things to change my thoughts. Its tuff but we will all make it thru. It is hard to move on when you loved them so so much. My wife was my world.

[Object_a]

I feel your pain Hayewils. The weekends can be really tough. I would recommend doing something physical like take up a sport or going for long walks because it will focus your mind on the present and not on your pain. Hopefully it will also exhaust you a little so you find it easier to relax at night. I know it doesn't seem like it now but it will get easier over time. Stay strong.

[hayewils]

Take walk maybe help me relax. I wish that would help. I work in the oilfield in south texas so my days can be long. 4:30 am leave the house, usually in bed by 10 pm and i still only sleep about 4 hours.

[Emilia]

Take walk maybe help me relax. I wish that would help. I work in the oilfield in south texas so my days can be long. 4:30 am leave the house, usually in bed by 10 pm and i still only sleep about 4 hours.

Do you exercise much when you have the time?

[hayewils]

No i dont. I have been thinking about it. Used to work out alot and i should get back into it

[LIFE.GOES.wrONg]

Hey hayewils,

 

I totally relate to you. For me what's worked is sleeping pills at night - just over the counter. They work fine and are not so addictive. Mon, Wed, and Fri mornings I do a workout as soon as I get up. You can get Insanity or p90X on craigslist for cheap. It has really helped. Lastly, check out local groups on Meetup.com for weekend stuff to do - hike, bike ride, volleyball, basketball, Frisbee, there are even divorce groups there.

[GuyInLimbo]

You know, ive thought of changing things around in my house too.

Unfortunatly, theres limites things i can do but moving the bedroom around might work, and be good.

Ive done one small therapy session, just dont have time. Ive got bills and kids to feed. Dont want to take off from work. Only time is gonna heal me. Im definatly not going to bars. Wrong place to be and i dang sure dont want to meet anyone there. But i know what you mean tinam, i have trouble with the thoughts too. It is torture. I just start trying to focus on other things to change my thoughts. Its tuff but we will all make it thru. It is hard to move on when you loved them so so much. My wife was my world.

 

You have time, bro. It's 45 minutes out of your day and you need it. You're dealing with some heavy stuff. Stop making excuses.

[hayewils]

Your right. I will get it going

[Tom amoss]

Hi Hayewil

 

Feeling low in the morning is all part of the depression you are going through, it does have a known medical term which I cant remember. So its normal, if that help.

 

Weekends are crap, I can only echo what youhave already been told, if you can see anyone, even if its neighbours and just offload your thoughts and cry on them, Just do it.

 

I am only three months into this, and if you look at my post you will read a ton of advice. I can only say that it has helped me so much, I cant accept everything yet as you will read.

 

I really am with you on this. I Really Really know what you are going through. You are not alone, even though you think you are.

 

Hang in there, post all your feelings on here, it helps.

 

Take care

 

Tom

Edited May 29, 2013 by Tom amoss

[desperategirl]

Hey,

 

Sorry to hear you're feeling so terrible. I've been there.

 

Socialising helped. Filling my social calender as much as possible.

 

One morning I woke up, and I realised that my ex was not the first thing I thought about.

 

It gets better, and you can look back at the really bad times and be proud you survived. Hugs.

[hayewils]

Thank you Tom for your words

They really touched me.

I guess the part saying your not alone..

Cause thats what i have been feeling for a while is alone. It sucks.

Guess i felt that way with her at home for so long. I was always working for her acceptance and all i got was, alone.

Alone in our relationship. Alone with trying to love, alone with wanting to hear her tell me i love you, it never came.

This is something you helped me realize, just how long and alone i have been.

[BustedUpInside]

maybe you could set up a morning ritual that is really pleasant. Something that you could really look forward to. Maybe a delicious breakfast that you always do on Tuesdays, or Wednesdays you eat breakfast in the park, at a special restaurant, or just on your back patio.

 

On the weekends, you could make a to do list and then reward yourself for checking things off the list. Start small and give yourself a break. What you are feeling is very normal and it is hard to get used to doing things by yourself after a long time of doing things as a couple.

 

You can do it though, just set some small goals and celebrate all victories. You can and will feel better. It just takes some time and effort

[Tom amoss]

You will also be looking at your self with a mirror, and thinking what is wrong with me, and you can without doubt use this time to look at your self, build yourself backup, BUT KNOW THIS, she doesn’t need one mirror she will need a lorry full. You are a good man. and you and I will find ourselves again, from here we can only go one-way, and that is Up Up UP

[hayewils]

LOL..

Yes we will be fine..

Im sticking with you..

Ha Ha