Is she hurting to?

[matt29]

Hi all!

 

My fiancée left me 6 weeks ago for GIGS and also there was another man involved that she never admitted to. I never ever thought she could have don't this to me, We were madly in love for seven years and then out of no where BAM she's gone without any real reason. Anyway im starting to move on but I find myself trying to work out what she's thinking! Is she sorry? Is she hurting to? Does she dream about me like I've been dreaming about her? I have such a huge build up of rage and anger inside me and it hurts. One minute I miss her the next minute I never want to see her again! We've had contact since the breakup due to our house which we've had to put on the market to sell (only took her 3 weeks after the breakup to decide to sell the house) now I've decided to go no contact. Its been nearly one week. The woman that I fell in love with is not there any more. she is a completely different person. Last time I saw her she asked me if i'd told my family about what had happened and she asked me what they said. She was a massive part of out family and we were all very close!! When I told her how upset and devastated they were and that they missed her she started balling her eyes out! The woman that I loved came back for a few mintues. I feel as though she slept with this other guy and was to gutless to tell me so she found it easier to run away. He was telling her everything she wanted to hear! I saw the emails he had been sending her which she showed me when I questioned her funny behaviour. The contact between them had "apparently" stopped but six weeks after that she left me and hasn't looked back. She has gone full steam ahead with her new life. My question is.. Is she hurting to? Does she cry herself to sleep at night? When I've seen her since the break I can see the guilt in her eyes. I just want her to feel the hurt that she's made me feel. I know it sounds terrible but it feels unfair that she has been able to put me through this and get away scott free!

Thanks for reading!

[LostOne1]

You know.. I'm sure part of her hurts. But part of her likes this new life.

 

The fact that she left you shows she made her decision. And that is she wants out!

 

My guess is she feels guilty at times for what she did. But I think she is still happy with her new decision. I mean people don't leave others unless there is a reason.

 

Maybe the new guy was giving her something you couldn't anymore. That's what happened with my ex.. she wasn't getting the attention she wanted, so another guy gave it to her and she decided to go with him and start over after 3 yrs of her and I together.

 

I guess people change how they feel with someone, and over time that might mean moving on to someone else.

 

It's gonna hurt a lot man, but you need to FORGET about her and if she feels bad or not. Otherwise you'll drive yourself crazy like I did.. fact is my ex never applogized or anything. So basically she was fine with what she did and she moved on quick.

 

Last I remember almost at 1 year she is with the same guy. I think after a year I realized he could give her the life she wants. And really the life I could give her would not be the same. Our wants and needs are very different I think... and sadly I learned this now and through heart break.

 

I know how you feel about her getting away scott free. But think of it this way.. maybe she saved you? She left you and in the future it means you get to find someone better. I used to think that way too. That my ex just threw me away and replaced me with this new dude. She still had a good life, but she threw me away and I got **** left.

 

In fact she left me a month after my grandma passed away... she didn't even have it in her to see I was hurting. She cared more about me not giving her enough time.

 

Sure she has a new guy.. but I'm okay, because I'm a tough guy. I can stand up back again and run past them in the race we call life.

 

Stay strong man! stay strong!

[CelticGibson]

Matt, it doesn't matter what she's thinking. Go with ACTIONS.

 

Is she beating your door down to beg you to take her back? No.

 

Then that is all you need to know. She's out of there because she likes her new life and the freedom to explore. Let her be and stop over-thinking what's not there. You cannot make anyone feel anything so don't even try. If she doesn't care any more, as I suspect is the case, you trying to make her feel just as bad as you will probably amuse her and not have the intended result. You are only torturing yourself. Don't do it, for your sake. Look at the facts and not the wishful thinking...