atty Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 I have been reading the post on this site for the last couple of weeks. At the beginning of September, my relationship with my ex ended. Who did it and who was at fault is a long story that I cannot bring myself to discuss. Anyhow, it has been a difficult breakup with much heartache on each side. My ex changed her cell phone number. However, the change in numbers was sent to an AOL account that is mine. So I had the new number but didnt call her. However, last week she went out to dinner at a place where I hang out. My friends told me about it. She was with a guy who is supposedly a friend. Predictably, my friends informed of her dinner, with the added caveat that she was telling everyone this "friend" had just purchased her a corvette. I later confronted him (I knew the guy, he is older and a supposed father figure to her...but come on we all know how guys are). I was going to send her an evil text message, but decided not to (it wasnt worth it). She emailed me next day saying she doubted I lovedher and that I did not trust her and to leave her alone. This was fine because before I found out about this incident, I told her I was no longer waiting around (she wanted me to wait around, to give her time, while she figured out what her "options" were...pffff) and that I was goinng to worry about me for a change (I was supporting her and her two very young sons and went out of my way to make them happy while ignoring myself). Anyhow, I was deleting old text messages from my phone. I had not sent one in a while, but wanted to be rid of all of her old "I love you" messages. I hit a wrong button. It was truly by accident. However, that old text message was sent. I wanted advice on whether I should tell her it was a mistake. I am trying NC. It is hard, but I am doing it. I havent been myself since this happened. I am a little older than most (35) and have been through break ups before. So I know what to do and expect. What also is hard is that I think I may really, really still love her...but I know that we are not getting back together!
SoleMate Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 Either do nothing, or possibly, send a terse message explaining that your finger slipped while you were tidying up your phone settings. Then revert to NC. And make sure your phone really gets cleaned up safely, immediately.
Merin Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 Crap! I hate it when that happens! LOL Ugh, I've had it happen to me before I got a different phone... Blah! Agree with Sole... either do nothing and go on as if it didn't happen... OR you could send her a text saying "Oops sorry.."
atty Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 thanks for the help soulmate. I sent her a terse message explaining what happened. What is strange is that I am very "electronic literate" and hope I didn't do that just to get a reaction out of her. It's weird, I was confused on how to handle this issue because even though I know in my head what that she is not coming back, time heals all wounds, and that there is someone else out there...I didn't want to close all doors. I've had the fortunate experience of having some wonderful women in my life, but I really thought she was it. Dam, wish I hadn't screwed things up. oh well, NC is back in action and I look forward to the passage of time until these feelings subsist.
tiki Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 Definitely let her know it was a mistake. She's probably wondering "WTF" also.
Scott S Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 Originally posted by atty Anyhow, I was deleting old text messages from my phone. I had not sent one in a while, but wanted to be rid of all of her old "I love you" messages. I hit a wrong button. It was truly by accident. However, that old text message was sent. I wanted advice on whether I should tell her it was a mistake. I am trying NC. It is hard, but I am doing it. I havent been myself since this happened. I am a little older than most (35) and have been through break ups before. So I know what to do and expect. What also is hard is that I think I may really, really still love her...but I know that we are not getting back together! Oops! Curse those large fingers!!! May I assume it was an "I love you" message? I would leave it alone. If you're trying NC, then stay NC. If she contacts you wondering what's going on, just tell her it was an accident, & try not to engage in a lengthy conversation.
tiki Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 Computer's actin funny, hope this isn't a double post. ...Let's hope it has the old time and date stamped on the message. That'll help.
atty Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 thanks scott, merin, and tiki....fortunately scott, it was not a "love" message...it was more to the effect of I didn't believe he was just a friend and that I was very close to taking her to court to get all the furniture I purchased returned (yep, bought $$$$$$$$$$ stuff and I work in the legal profession so I know how to do it). It was your basic I am hurt and I want you to hurt too message...thats why I didnt send and freaked out when I realized I did...we already think badly enough of each other, I didn't want to give her any more reason to justify her decision. In short, I didnt want to end NC, but I didnt want her think ill of me (what did they say in the movie Swingers...cant do things to make them come back, you can only do things to make them not want to come back) Besides, I am a big believer in moving on during a breakup (NC is the only way) because, in my experience, 9 times out of 10, the dumper will contact you when your finally over them and it is a great feeling when youve had NC, worked on yourself to make yourself attractive again, and then something amazing happens....you actually dont want them back. Once, LoL, had a former fiance call me, wanting another try, the very morning (after 7 months of NC) I woke up and was shocked I didnt miss her and the pain was gone.
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