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Anyone get this feeling and your interpretation when it happened.

seahawker64

By seahawker64
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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seahawker64 Established Member

seahawker64

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Ok, so I miss her like crazy even though I've gone NC. Used most of the time to take of business to keep my mind other places. Mostly it worked but the weekends are hard still.

 

The past few days I've noticed I'm starting to feel this feeling where I just kinda shrug my shoulder's and say you win some, you lose some and at the same time there's this kinda disgust with the whole thing feelings starting to come up.

I'm not really sure what to make of it. I thought I'd cycled thru the grief pattern mostly so I'm not sure what this is. Part of me misses her and will always care about her and the other part is kinda like, whatever.

 

I would just like to know if anyone has had this and if it made any sense to you?

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aisuru Established Member

aisuru

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Oh you mean the anxiety is wearing off?

 

Yup, that's about where I am too. Amazing how that works.

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seahawker64 Established Member

seahawker64

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Oh you mean the anxiety is wearing off?

 

Yup, that's about where I am too. Amazing how that works.

 

Yea, maybe it was anxiety over the whole thing. I do catch myself going literally hours now not giving it much thought but then it pops back up. Maybe this is a good sign for those of us in this boat.

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metal_chick Established Member

metal_chick

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Yea, maybe it was anxiety over the whole thing. I do catch myself going literally hours now not giving it much thought but then it pops back up. Maybe this is a good sign for those of us in this boat.

 

Yippee!! It's happening!! You're moving on. Don't stop now!! :bunny:

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seahawker64 Established Member

seahawker64

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Yippee!! It's happening!! You're moving on. Don't stop now!! :bunny:

 

I get a little cautious when I consider that I am getting to that for a couple of reasons.

 

First.. I know that tomorrow I could wake up and feel like I got hit by a truck again.

 

2nd.. From past experience this is when they tend to come back around and if she did, although I have my little speech why I can't, you never know what's really gonna happen until it's in your face.

 

So, I don;t wanna get carried away yet but I am going to enjoy the restfull times of not dwelling on it anymore.

 

Does that make sense?

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aisuru Established Member

aisuru

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I get a little cautious when I consider that I am getting to that for a couple of reasons.

 

First.. I know that tomorrow I could wake up and feel like I got hit by a truck again.

 

2nd.. From past experience this is when they tend to come back around and if she did, although I have my little speech why I can't, you never know what's really gonna happen until it's in your face.

 

So, I don;t wanna get carried away yet but I am going to enjoy the restfull times of not dwelling on it anymore.

 

Does that make sense?

 

Ahhh yes... this is where you're all, "BUT WAIT, the anxiety is allllll I know... I must continue to obsess so I feel anxious because I know this feeling."

 

Yeah... F that. Move past it toward a better you. It's totally worth it!

 

This is where the really hard work comes in to play because you'll actually have to work at it now, instead of relying on the anxiety to drive you.

 

Welcome to my world. :laugh:

BustedUpInside Established Member

BustedUpInside

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Ok, so I miss her like crazy even though I've gone NC. Used most of the time to take of business to keep my mind other places. Mostly it worked but the weekends are hard still.

 

The past few days I've noticed I'm starting to feel this feeling where I just kinda shrug my shoulder's and say you win some, you lose some and at the same time there's this kinda disgust with the whole thing feelings starting to come up.

I'm not really sure what to make of it. I thought I'd cycled thru the grief pattern mostly so I'm not sure what this is. Part of me misses her and will always care about her and the other part is kinda like, whatever.

 

I would just like to know if anyone has had this and if it made any sense to you?

 

To me this sounds like when I quit smoking. Especially because NC is like cold turkey. The first couple of days were absolute hell! I felt like I was going to die and all I wanted to do was smoke. Even knowing how bad it was for me, even knowing that going back could eventually kill me, I didn't care. It was all I wanted to do and all I thought about doing all day long. It even interrupted my sleep and I got really lucid nightmares. Then it started to get better. Some days were worse, some were better, but slowly I felt the hold of addiction lessen.

 

Around the 4 month mark, I was disgusted that I let myself smoke for so long. Why didn't I quit years earlier? Why was I so stupid that I let it take over my life like that? That is about the time that I feel so good about all the progress I made that I think that I could have the occasional smoke now without undoing all the hard work.

 

That's how your brain sucks you back into the addiction. Stay strong!! You sound like you are almost through to the other side. Don't get sucked back in ;)

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