ladydesigner Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 (edited) At the very least H sexting helped alleviate some of my own guilt. It's like we're both on level ground now. You will both be on level playing grounds when you and your H come clean. I am a madhatter, I get it, although now that I am out of my RA for 5 years and 15 months since my latest DDay with WH (with my RA being exposed), we have all the cards on the table. My H and I can now move forward with this knowledge that BOTH of us have had A's and BOTH of us are working to better ourselves and heal our M. I used to come here to LS preaching up and down that I would never tell and now I see how important it was for me and for WH too. I did not have intimacy back with WH until very recently and most likely is due to all our marital troubles spanning 9 years. Edited May 30, 2013 by ladydesigner 2
findingnemo Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Weeds, you don't want your H to know the details about your A and yet you want to stop OM's harassment. Unless OM stops, you will have to come clean ASAP to your H. Even if OM stops today, how do you know what will happen in the future? There is no guarantee that OM and/or BW won't expose you. To your H it won't matter that the A ended years ago. So your choices in brief: 1) you accept the harassment and hope OM will get tired of engaging, 2) you expose to your H, get a RO and stop OM, or 3) you play Russian roulette with your M and keep your fingers crossed that the truth will remain hidden Number 2 seems to be the only choice which gives you some measure of control. The others are a gamble for very high stakes and could go on for years and years. Play along for a bit. Which one would you choose? 2
2sunny Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Your truth here seems to take a lot of twists and turns. It seems exhausting. You really have no foundation for your M since you aren't willing to be honest - and you don't seem to want truth from your H either about what he's really up to. That's a M made in hell. Yet you won't end it - good luck - that would completely suck in my world. 3
thomasb Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Living with lies DID suck for me. I am glad I got smart, dumped OW, and started living authentically. I would have laughed in OW's face if she had ever asked my wife to apologize for jack. My wife was a the victim of the lies and filth of the affair. She deserved nothing less than both the OW and I on our knees begging for forgiveness. 8
2sunny Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 Teach you how to "unlove"? Heck - no one here seems to able to even help you be honest - much less how to "unlove". It's possible! I did it with my exH. But it doesn't seem you're open to change or willing to get honest. Things will never improve as long as that's your method of operating. Tons of people here have tried to help you - you don't take action to change things. 3
Author weedsandposies Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 It's taking so much energy to fight the urge to sleep with xOM just to spite this woman. I know that's counter-productive, H doesn't deserve to be backstabbed, OM is gross, and so on... but the thought is just consuming me. 1
Praying4Peace Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 W&P Why are you so angry with her? She is sad, probably depressed and in a bad place. Her husband is a freak of nature. She has to believe him over you to stay a day in that house with him. She is going through a process, she is on a journey...as we all are. Try to be sympathetic. Whatever she said to you, it was not to YOU individually. It was to her husband's AP. You could be anyone and she'd react the same. She only knows what her H tells her. Your anger should be on him. I think she made you feel bad about yourself (understandably) but people give what they have inside. This woman probably feels like ****. Just let it all go, you don't need to give xOM or his BW any headspace. You know your true intentions and so focus on yourself and your life. I'm sure that BW knows more about the truth about her H than she lets on. You don't have to sleep with him to prove to her that's he's a wackjob. She's not that dumb, she's probably just scared, embarrassed and humiliated as hell. Take care... 5
wanting more Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 It's taking so much energy to fight the urge to sleep with xOM just to spite this woman. I know that's counter-productive, H doesn't deserve to be backstabbed, OM is gross, and so on... but the thought is just consuming me. You've got some really strange thoughts going thru your head. I've tried to keep up with this thread but damn!!!! I'm confused. I'm an xOW/xMOW xSomething and I can't figure out the hate you have towards his BW. 3
Author weedsandposies Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 Because instead of being appreciative she made it out like I'm a lying psycho while her H is gaslighting her and posting pics of their fake M.
wanting more Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Because instead of being appreciative she made it out like I'm a lying psycho while her H is gaslighting her and posting pics of their fake M. The BW of my xMM called my BSO and told him some of the most rediculousby believable things i'd ever heard, like how I'd broke into xMM hotel room, tied myself to the bed and waited for him to get in, then forced him to have sex with me 3 times AGAINST his will. How I followed him across the country convincing him to have sex with me. A couple months ago she contacted meagain after HE called me. I didn't respond. In the beginning I sat back and did think she was a bit foolish (being nice) for believing all his lies. I did send her a couple emails right after d-day with proof of his wanting to be with me, his ILYs, receipts I knew she could dig up on their credit card statements. Then I left it at that. I didn't keep emailing. If she wanted to believe his lies, that was on her. Not me at that point. She called me crazy, a whore, trash, a lying psycho. You know what, it doesn't matter anymore. You will make yourself out to be a psycho if you keep this up. MOVE ON. if you need, get a RO on him. Appreciative???? Where does that come from. That makes no sense to me that you think she should be appreciative. You sent her the info you had. Move on. Stop waiting for her to thank you. it wont happen. It shouldnt happen, And it's really silly of you to expect it 1
SoulStorm Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Because instead of being appreciative she made it out like I'm a lying psycho while her H is gaslighting her and posting pics of their fake M. Nope..you're mad because OM is now doing his wife instead of you. Whether he is gaslighting her or not..he is with her. For the record..you are still lying..the psycho is debatable . The mere thought of doing him to spite her speaks volumes about how psycho you can be. 5
Author weedsandposies Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 My post about sleeping with him was stupid. It will never happen. Today I'm calling a friend at Family Services to see if they can notify the father of her other child about this guy. Comparing pics of her from 3 years ago and a few weeks ago she aged 10 years. The poster who said she may be going through depression is probably correct... never thought about that. Wonder if there's also pressure from people around her to leave this M. My attorney told me she's been stalking me for years so there's a great possibility she knows we were dating for most of their R. Yet she did nothing about it! I know for sure she knows about a couple of other women. She has access to all the proof but chooses to ignore. Why? xOM was involved with MANY people and most likely still is. If he's contacting me, someone who threatened with lawsuits, then he's cheating with others. WHO just released a report, 1 in 3 women around the globe is abused, mentally, emotionally or physically: link 1
wanting more Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Get a RO against him and stay away. Stop comparing pics of her now and years ago. What father of another child? If he's seeing one, two, three OW is not your concern. Move on from him. 1
PhoenixRise Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 My post about sleeping with him was stupid. It will never happen. Today I'm calling a friend at Family Services to see if they can notify the father of her other child about this guy. Comparing pics of her from 3 years ago and a few weeks ago she aged 10 years. The poster who said she may be going through depression is probably correct... never thought about that. Wonder if there's also pressure from people around her to leave this M. My attorney told me she's been stalking me for years so there's a great possibility she knows we were dating for most of their R. Yet she did nothing about it! I know for sure she knows about a couple of other women. She has access to all the proof but chooses to ignore. Why? xOM was involved with MANY people and most likely still is. If he's contacting me, someone who threatened with lawsuits, then he's cheating with others. WHO just released a report, 1 in 3 women around the globe is abused, mentally, emotionally or physically: link This is probably one of the most amoral and vindictive things I have ever read on LS. You are going to threaten the security of an innocent child's home life and custodial arrangements to cover your own butt and keep your H from finding out the truth about your affair. You are willing to make an innocent child suffer so you don't have to. I have to tell you, if you do this and cause even the slightest bit of trouble for this child you better hope and pray the wife never gets even a slightest notion that maybe possibly you had something to do with harming her child. The stress and anxiety you feel now will be nothing compared to the wrath that the wife/mother will rain down on your head. Do you have children W&P? I do. And I can tell you that if were in her shoes and I even thought for half a second you did something like that to MY child, I wouldn't stop until your entire life had been blown to smithereens. No way in hell you would get away with it unscathed. 10
delighted_delilah Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 You are a sick, twisted creature weeds. To even consider ruining an innocent child's life just to mess with a woman who has DONE NOTHING TO YOU.... Seek help. Jesus. 6
SmokeRat Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 I hope this married woman does something like this to you: Except, even the Hulk doesn't have the strength, fury or temper of a woman protecting her babies. I'll send this warning to you now Weeds, you are messing with forces FAR beyond your control. If this BS finds out you used her child as a shield to detract from what you did, she will destroy you. And rightfully so. 5
dreamingoftigers Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 As a Mother who went through Social Services Hell over some BS accusations...... I hope that you get everything that is coming your way. Starting with your husband finding out. Just the tip of the iceberg. Read your old posts and threads. You don't know up from down/right from wrong/decency from blatant evil. I think you've been pursuing and baiting this guy. I think that you are harassing his family and they are sick of it. I also think that he's colossally messed up. I think he would screw anything that moves. I think that you hate that he is with his wife and not chasing you down as much as you feel that he should. And you are feeling justified in treating your husband like a chump. Enjoy the bed that you are making for yourself. 5
Trimmer Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Because instead of being appreciative she made it out like I'm a lying psycho while her H is gaslighting her and posting pics of their fake M. OK, so lying we have already established. Psycho? It's taking so much energy to fight the urge to sleep with xOM just to spite this woman. ...OM is gross, and so on... but the thought is just consuming me. Today I'm calling a friend at Family Services to see if they can notify the father of her other child about this guy. I know for sure she knows about a couple of other women. She has access to all the proof but chooses to ignore. Why? Comparing pics of her from 3 years ago and a few weeks ago she aged 10 years. Frankly, this is sounding a little bit unbalanced and obsessive... 9
Author weedsandposies Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 Just to be clear, if I thought a child was in imminent danger, there isn't a force on this earth that would stop me or scare me away from contacting the authorities. ALL my charity work is done with abused women and children. If Child Protection Services investigated your home life then they had good reason. Yesterday I spoke with my friend at Family Services. Apparently there's a case worker assigned because the child complained in the school that they were "screaming a lot" and the father is pushing for custody. The legal process for a restraining order has been started by my attorney... should've happened years ago.
PhoenixRise Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Just to be clear, if I thought a child was in imminent danger, there isn't a force on this earth that would stop me or scare me away from contacting the authorities. ALL my charity work is done with abused women and children. If Child Protection Services investigated your home life then they had good reason. Yesterday I spoke with my friend at Family Services. Apparently there's a case worker assigned because the child complained in the school that they were "screaming a lot" and the father is pushing for custody. The legal process for a restraining order has been started by my attorney... should've happened years ago. That is the problem. You DON'T think the child is in any danger but you used a connection at CPS to mess with the child's home life and custodial arraignment anyway. You DON'T think the child is in any danger but you used this Child for your own selfish, vile, reasons as a shield to cover your own butt. And yes sometimes if your home is being investigated it is justified. But your own actions show that some people have figured out you can use family services as a weapon. You can report someone for your own stupid vengeful bs reasons just to hurt them or mess with their life or to affect a custody case. It happens. You know that. YOU DID THAT. Messing with her child in any way was a vile and cowardly thing to do. I hope this whole thing completely blows up in your face. 9
dreamingoftigers Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 ALL my charity work is done with abused women and children. If Child Protection Services investigated your home life then they had good reason. The legal process for a restraining order has been started by my attorney... should've happened years ago. Common refrain heard but those who are unjustly accused of ridiculous bullcrap. Nice try. Get your own life in order before you feel free to comment on the veracity of mine. 4
SoulStorm Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 It doesn't do any good to berate her. She doesn't care. She's a sociopath. All of the moral things we say means nothing to her, nothing means anything except her agenda. She is best ignored until her own vindictiveness traps her. You reap what you sow. Plant seeds of revenge and you will yield a likewise crop. I'm done ever posting to this person again.Later on down the line she will be in lots of trouble for causing it. 3
ComingInHot Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 It's So Weird because I Did thank exOW for the truth and told her I forgave her when she apologized and it seems she actually Wanted me to be crazy mad, not thankful and mean to her. She kept coming at me baiting, writing Horrible things, trying to make me lose it. Maybe she was hoping to get a response that would "prove" that I was what my H told her and what she so badly wanted to believe was true?!? Weeds, if all she was to you was "cold" and then asked you to leave her/them alone, I think that's pretty decent of her* Take what You did in telling the truth finally and her accepting the story and move on. Dwelling on His Wife will do nothing for you but take time away from R'ing w/Your Own Spouse. If the guy is still bugging you, file and send cease /desist letter. It'll be all good after that. End of story. Move on. Begin next book** 2
Artie Lang Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 (edited) ALL my charity work is done with abused women and children. are you freakin' kidding me?! sociopath for sure..... SICK SICK SICK. Edited June 22, 2013 by Artie Lang 5
janedoe67 Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 That is the problem. You DON'T think the child is in any danger but you used a connection at CPS to mess with the child's home life and custodial arraignment anyway. You DON'T think the child is in any danger but you used this Child for your own selfish, vile, reasons as a shield to cover your own butt. And yes sometimes if your home is being investigated it is justified. But your own actions show that some people have figured out you can use family services as a weapon. You can report someone for your own stupid vengeful bs reasons just to hurt them or mess with their life or to affect a custody case. It happens. You know that. YOU DID THAT. Messing with her child in any way was a vile and cowardly thing to do. I hope this whole thing completely blows up in your face. It takes a special kind of narcissistic psychopathy to invade the relationship between a mother and her children this way. 4
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