LostGirl11 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 (edited) This is a pretty random thread so if you'd like to know the whole story then read my other threads Ok, so we're over. Again! But for good this time! And I know what I'm asking will make no diffrence to anything. It's just been playing on my mind so I thought I'd post about it. So my ex is trying to make a living from his talent of playing Jazz, he paired up with a vocalist and they rehearsed for gigs twice a week. She has a boyfriend which my ex met because he would stick around while they rehearsed ect. He would often complain to me about how lazy she was with sending emails, praticing and replying back to his texts regarding music, ect. Then all of a sudden rehearsals picked up and the complaing about her stopped. He started calling her a friend. Which is fine! I'm not the jealous type but I stared to feel uneasy about the whole thing, though I couldn't put my finger on it. I mean, she had a boyfriend.... I don't know what I'm even asking! Anyway, I tried to work out what is was that was bothering me, and I still don't really know. He kind of started to mirror her behaviour, if that makes sense? Like, he started getting lazy with replying to my texts and calls. Argh! I can't explain it, but yeah, he pretty much started to mirror a lot of her behaviour traits. Like I said, I don't even know what I'm asking. Edited May 28, 2013 by LostGirl11
BustedUpInside Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I think I get what you're trying to say. You guys broke up, and you think it may have to do with the girl he is working with. The timing just seems suspicious, right? I mean he goes from not liking her to calling her a friend, to suddenly wanting to imitate her. You are wondering if she may have pushed him into ending the relationship? Unfortunately, the answers are endless. Even if the worst case scenario is true, neither one will ever confirm it for you because it makes them both look like homewrecking losers. In my opinion (whatever that's worth ) it's ok to indulge in these little dark fantasies where people are conspiring against your love from every angle, but eventually you do have to kind of pick and choose what is likely to be reality and what is just silly. However, your feelings are never silly. I am sorry that you are frustrated and upset. Hopefully, things are cleared up but even if they aren't you know what is most likely and what is just your imagination running away with you. 1
Author LostGirl11 Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 I think I get what you're trying to say. You guys broke up, and you think it may have to do with the girl he is working with. The timing just seems suspicious, right? I mean he goes from not liking her to calling her a friend, to suddenly wanting to imitate her. You are wondering if she may have pushed him into ending the relationship? Unfortunately, the answers are endless. Even if the worst case scenario is true, neither one will ever confirm it for you because it makes them both look like homewrecking losers. In my opinion (whatever that's worth ) it's ok to indulge in these little dark fantasies where people are conspiring against your love from every angle, but eventually you do have to kind of pick and choose what is likely to be reality and what is just silly. However, your feelings are never silly. I am sorry that you are frustrated and upset. Hopefully, things are cleared up but even if they aren't you know what is most likely and what is just your imagination running away with you. I'll never ask! So I'll never know. Why on earth would a grown man imitate a women? I don't know.... Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me. Or maybe not? Lol
Dante311 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 In short, you're saying you're trying to determine if YOU'RE jealous or NOT. I'd say if I were in YOUR shoes, I'd be ok with the friendship, but I'd want to draw the line... perhaps take an interest in HIS affairs.. if the other s/o can be there, perhaps you can get work done there too... while trying to appeal to his interests? That's me... everything is always going to come down to jealousy, trust, etc.. but it's how he interprets it that I feel will make or break the relationship. If he were a good guy, he'd comfort you and show you quality time and affection (AGAIN IN MY OPINION b/c it's something I WOULD DO)... if he were moving away/losing interest... or if he was just emotionless (which is not good enough for me).. it isn't worth crying over.. time to move on. In short, hun, your best bet is to take care of you now and realize how amazing you are and focus on your strengths and what will make a better you for a better man for a better tomorrow <3
Treasa Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I think it's natural to feel how you're feeling. This is the way I started looking at things: 1. If they are miserable together, they'll break up. 2. If they're happy together for the rest of their lives, then it's good that they're together. I know that doesn't answer whether or not I think he's interested in this friend, but that's how I've looked at relationships ending in the past few years. It has helped me let go pretty easily.
Author LostGirl11 Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 (edited) Like I said, she has a boyfriend, and they've just moved in together. Maybe I'm just being a bit insecure and paranoid. I never made a drama out of it. I just teased him about it a little. He just told me that I had nothing to worry about and sort of acted nonchalant about it. Anyway, if my mind isn't playing tricks on me and he does like her then he's the one that's going to be left feeling stupid while she sticks with her boyfriend. Edited May 28, 2013 by LostGirl11
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