thunder23 Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 This past summer my girlfriend of over a year dumped me out of the blue. She was claiming that she just wants to have fun for her senior year of high school. Needless to say i was crushed, but we continued talking and going out and doing things together. Even though she was talking to this guy who was like 24, i thought everything was going to work out and we were going to get back together. Well as the summer came to an end, I had to move 2 1/2 hrs away to go to school. So the week before i was to move, i decided to try to hang out w/ her and do as much stuff as we could together in an effort to try to get her back. We started out the week by going to Hershey Park. That was a blast and it was a 2 hr drive so it gave us plenty of time to talk about everything that was going on. As the week went on, we hung out everyday and making the best out of the little time that was left. In the back of my mind i knew we weren't going to get back together, but I knew in my heart that it was worth because of how much i love her and how much she loved me. August 24th comes, the day before i have to move. I came home from work that afternoon and asked her if she would go with me to move in and then later on in the day when my dad comes down she could just ride back w/ him and my sister. She said she would and i thought everything was going to be alright between us. Later that night we got into a fight and i dont even remember what it was about, but about 30 minutes after we fought, she called me back crying saying how much she loves me and she wanted me to go up to her house w/ her. So i did and we had a romantic evening out by her pool. August 25th comes and i have to move in. We leave at like 5:30 am and we had a GREAT ride down. We talked and joked and everything was great. Once we got down here to my apartment I felt like a king. She was hanging on my arm and kept kissing me and saying that she loves me infront of everyone else that was moving in. We came into the place and she helped with unpacking and then we just layed together on my bed for like 5 hrs just holding each other. But the day had to end and she had to leave. As the week went by she called me all day, everyday. She called and was depressed cause everything she did reminded her of me. I sort of fell back in love with her cause at this time i knew we weren't going to get back together and i just tried to move on. Then labor day weekend comes around, aka the worst weekend of my life. She begged me to come home that weekend so we could hang out. So i come home and i didn't really see her at all. She went out everynight and never called me and i didn't really have anything to do. Well that sunday, she went out w/ her friends and i got a text message monday morning at like 6:30am from her asking if i'd go pick her up. I did and spent the whole day with her. Later that night though i find out that she got really drunk and had sex w/ someone else. I was very upset about everything and then i came back to school and didn't talk to her for about 2 weeks. So the "no-contact" rule came into play and i just kept getting mad that she didn't call me during that time. But i thought that i had gotten over her because i was talking to other girls in class and i went out to a club one night with one of them. So finally she calls me one day saying how i should just leave her alone and give her some space. Well i was sick of everything i had taken from her in the past and i just let everything out, i called her every name in the book and said how i was glad we weren't together and hoped we didn't. She didn't even hang up on me, she sat there and took which was to my amazement. But we hung up and then about 2 hrs later, she called me back crying saying how she just didn't want to hurt me. After that she called me every night and we just talked about how school was going for both of us. It was nice. I then go home for the weekend, but only saw her on sunday night. We drove around and she said that she didn't want to hurt me, but she does love me. She said that she was just confused on how her life was going. We went to the park where she just layed across the seats and hugged me and cried a little. The following weekend came and i went home again to see her and we spent everyday together. It was great, it felt like old times. I then come back here to school and my brother who is a freshman in high school tells me that she is dating a kid in his grade. I didn't believe it and she told me that night on the phone that they're just friends and she doesn't want a boyfriend because she wants to come to school w/ me next year and then we'd be together. But that was a lie, because this past weekend was her birthday and sure enough she tells me that they're "together" now. Friday night i got drunk for the first time in like 2 1/2 years and i called her and left her a message on her voice mail. My friends say i was crying saying how much i love her and wanted to be with her, but i dont remember it. I then called her yesterday and asked if i could bring up her birthday present. She said yes, so i went up and handed it to her and in return, i got all my shirts back. She then told me to take the gift back and get my money back. But instead she opened it and read the card i had made for her. I came up with a little witty poem and when she read it she cracked a smile, but tried to hide it from me. Then i was getting ready to leave i told her i'd leave her alone but if she ever wanted to talk to call me, cause i didn't want to interfere w/ her life anymore. This is where i am now. Could i get as much advice as possible? Before i thought it was worth the wait, but now i'm not so sure anymore. Could i please get some how, cause none of my friends know how i feel and everything they say is just childish and immature about the situation. thunder23
Papillon Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 Way I see it, you paint a picture of caring for her deeply and wanting to see her happy, and loving her, but really, it's just a one-sided image from inside your own mind. I wonder if you even thought about what was going on in HER mind all this time, from HER perspective. I think you dropped the ball when you called her those names. Nice move, loverboy. And to think she just put up with it. Sounds like a nice girl. I'd love to hear about this from her side of the story. I'll bet that if we were to compare her side of things with what YOU think her side of things look like, it would not be similar at all.
Author thunder23 Posted October 4, 2004 Author Posted October 4, 2004 pampillon...yeah i probably did mess up when i called her those names, but it was the only mistake i've made in this relationship. i treat her like a queen and do anything and everything for her because of how much i love her. So, what do you suggest that i do to try to get her back then?
Papillon Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 The decision is not yours to make. She initially wanted to let go so she could enjoy her senior year. If that's what she wants, then let her do it. If you're half the man you paint yourself to be, you'll be there for her as a friend, regardless of what happens, and not whine about you think you deserve. That's my advice.
Author thunder23 Posted October 4, 2004 Author Posted October 4, 2004 i am going to be there for her as a friend. i just talked to her on the phone cause she stayed home today cause she's sick. i told her that if this kid makes her happier than i did than to stay with it and i hope she's happy with the choices she makes. she then followed to say that she does love me still and that was nice of me to take it like this and that there is a future of us getting together. she said that this kid and her are just dating.
Papillon Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 Welcome to the trenches, brother. Now you sit and wait with your pain as companion.
Author thunder23 Posted October 4, 2004 Author Posted October 4, 2004 so saying that stuff to her today was a good idea? cause she told me the other day that she doesn't want to talk that much or hang out cause she's dating this kid? so i just sick back and watch like you said? or do i call her?
Papillon Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 Telling someone "It's ok, I don't wanna mess with your life and interfere. Just remember that. Got it? Don't forget!", is just a way of saddling them with your baggage. Of course you wanna interfere, otherwise you wouldn't have said that, silly. And you make the other person know it. Thunder, if this girl really loves you, she will not forget you soon. Only time will tell whether she will put everything in prespective and decides that she really wants you. Until that time, you have to sit tight and try and move on (did I just make a contradiction )
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