jussie Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I've been using OkCupid for about 1.5 years now. I've been on and off it, depending on whether I'm in a relationship or getting over one. Most recently, I dated someone for 3 months (the longest I've dated anyone from the website), and then he dumped me. He is the best guy I've ever dated in my life - has his **** together, makes good money, is a kind/caring person, hard worker, good dad to his daughter, gets along with his whole family (parents, 4 siblings, and extended family), funny, easy-going, and intelligent. We both took our OkCupid profiles down once we were exclusive, but he put his back up only 10 days after he dumped me, while I haven't put mine back up because I'm not sure if I can go through the horrible thing they call "dating" again. I'm thinking about trying eHarmony because it has the reputation of being a "serious dating" website and people are supposedly more marriage-minded, but I don't have tons of money lying around so I don't want to waste it if eHarmony is just going to be like OkCupid, which is free. I guess I'm wondering whether anyone out there has experience on both websites and can tell me whether they like eHarmony and whether it's worth the money. **Note**: By the way, I rely on online dating because it's very difficult for me to meet men the "regular" way in person because all my friends are either single like me (so I'm essentially competing with them for men) or they're in committed relationships and don't have any single guy friends they can introduce me to. I've thought about Meet-Up groups, but they're mostly made up of women who are single like me. Also, the city I'm in has more straight women than straight men, so the men have it good and they take advantage of that.
Estate Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I've been using OkCupid for about 1.5 years now. I've been on and off it, depending on whether I'm in a relationship or getting over one. Most recently, I dated someone for 3 months (the longest I've dated anyone from the website), and then he dumped me. He is the best guy I've ever dated in my life - has his **** together, makes good money, is a kind/caring person, hard worker, good dad to his daughter, gets along with his whole family (parents, 4 siblings, and extended family), funny, easy-going, and intelligent. We both took our OkCupid profiles down once we were exclusive, but he put his back up only 10 days after he dumped me, while I haven't put mine back up because I'm not sure if I can go through the horrible thing they call "dating" again. I'm thinking about trying eHarmony because it has the reputation of being a "serious dating" website and people are supposedly more marriage-minded, but I don't have tons of money lying around so I don't want to waste it if eHarmony is just going to be like OkCupid, which is free. I guess I'm wondering whether anyone out there has experience on both websites and can tell me whether they like eHarmony and whether it's worth the money. **Note**: By the way, I rely on online dating because it's very difficult for me to meet men the "regular" way in person because all my friends are either single like me (so I'm essentially competing with them for men) or they're in committed relationships and don't have any single guy friends they can introduce me to. I've thought about Meet-Up groups, but they're mostly made up of women who are single like me. Also, the city I'm in has more straight women than straight men, so the men have it good and they take advantage of that. Most people don't want to pay for those sites. While you'll meet a few more duds on the free sites, you won't really find anyone any more "serious" on the pay ones IMO. If you want to try a pay one, Match seems alright. eHarmony is a bit of a joke from what I saw before. It's one of those things... make it look exclusive so you THINK you're getting more for your money but in reality the pickings are slim because the $$$'s and their own secretiveness for membership weeds even decent people out. Keep at OKC, I say. But just as a help... you're making a lot of excuses for not dating in the real world. There are other women... so what... Your friends compete... Who's friends DON'T?!?! And if it's THAT bad, get new friends. More woman than men? Unless it's RIDICULOUSLY skewed in the mens direction (which is highly unlikely, I don't think thats even possible by more than a few %), this is a cop out... most could be married, ugly, fat, old, too young, nothing going for them, uneducated, or crazy. Think you need to look at the real reasons you're not meeting anyone.
Maleficent Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Personally I hate OLD. I have profiles on OkCupid and POF but I stopped sending messages. I find that when my profile is set to 'looking for a relationship' I get little to no responses and when it's listed as 'date but nothing serious' I get crude messages. 3
Keenly Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I met two girls on OKcupid. Both were duds. I've met two girls on eharmony. I went on a date with one yesterday. She was pretty alright, but I am really starting to like the other girl from this site. We call each other daily and blah blah blah I am meeting her the weekend after this coming one. That's all I got . 2
salparadise Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I've heard women say that both match.com and eharmony are better for them in many respects. Just the fact that they're paid sites filters out a bunch of people who don't want to make much of an investment. It does probably filter out the long-term unsuccessful people because they eventually get tired of paying if they're not getting dates with appropriate people. But here's the problem. Match will let you be registered and display a profile without paying, they just won't let you send or respond to messages. So when you see someone you're interested in there is no way to know if they're able to respond. For me, I don't want to waste my time trying to initiate with people who cannot respond. I wrote an email to support to try and get some clarification and they were intentionally vague, definitely not forthcoming, about how that works. Obviously they hope that all of these folks will pay up when someone interesting writes to them. In the meantime, they're more than happy to use all the pics and profiles as bait for everyone else. I decided not to play their game and deleted myself from there. But I've also heard that eHarmony attempts to pair you up with a fairly limited number of people who they judge to be suitable for you. They try to be the premium place for people who are serious about finding someone to marry, but some people say it's disappointing despite the cost.
apple OR orange Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 eharmony is very bad. try match.com I put all my details in to that, it came up with "there's no match for you at the moment, try these" (which where a total opposite. I did this for months, its ok if you like biking, dont like sex and want kids, seem to get loads of hits then
Estate Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I put all my details in to that, it came up with "there's no match for you at the moment, try these" (which where a total opposite. I did this for months, its ok if you like biking, dont like sex and want kids, seem to get loads of hits then I thought you were morally opposed to dating?
shexy Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 I did eharmony for 3 months a few years ago when I first got divorced. I thought it was a pantload of crap! They matched me with people I had NOTHING and I mean NOTHING in common with!!!!! It was such a joke. I'm an athiest, and they kept matching me with uber Christians. I'm a liberal and they kept matching me with uber conservatives. 2
Jane2011 Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 One of my guy friends met his last girlfriend on eHarmony; other than that, I don't know much about it. I've met two guys who I really, really liked on OkCupid -- one of them just didn't work out (we were compatible, though), and the other is my current boyfriend who I actually knew before OkCupid, but we reconnected via OkC. I'm for the sites. But meeting someone you like doesn't just happen. I was on OkCupid off and on (mostly off) for about two years , and met two that I like (the ones I mentioned) and talked to several dozen others that I really, really didn't. 2
starla33 Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 One of my guy friends met his last girlfriend on eHarmony; other than that, I don't know much about it. I've met two guys who I really, really liked on OkCupid -- one of them just didn't work out (we were compatible, though), and the other is my current boyfriend who I actually knew before OkCupid, but we reconnected via OkC. I'm for the sites. But meeting someone you like doesn't just happen. I was on OkCupid off and on (mostly off) for about two years , and met two that I like (the ones I mentioned) and talked to several dozen others that I really, really didn't. I have gone (this is throughout the years) on about 50 OKc dates. Most of them were just first dates. I maybe dated 2-3 guys from there. So yeah the way I see it I like maybe 1 out of 5-10 guys I go out with on there and that doesn't mean the guy wants to see me again either. It seems a lot of guys on there are looking for something un-realistic. 1
BluEyeL Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 I've been on most sites, paid, and on OKC. The best paid site is match.com. eharmony is very very slow. They match you with people from outside your area (other states) all the time, most of the time actually. I cannot manipulate the system to make myself more visible, while on match I can do that easily. Therefore, I got a total of two dates from eharmony, not great dates either. Good people though, yes. So eharmony might be more serious, but you don't go on dates. Match is more serious than OKC or definitely POF. I only met OK quality people from there, even if they were boring or whatever. They had good jobs/careers and were serious. Chemistry.com is bad.
KaterinaVon Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 I find when people have to pay for something, they EXPECT the best of the best. It's like that on online dating too, the men that pay for the sites like Match.com etc, those guys have a LONG list of requirements from their perspective dates. " Must be tall, blonde, high level of education" they are all really detailed in what they want and they always want women that are WAY younger than themselves. On free dating sites, sure, you might meet a lot of weirdos, guys looking just for quick one night stands, etc, but you will also meet guys that are serious about wanting a good long lasting partner. They just tend to seem a bit more laid back than the men on paid dating sites. You could try both of them and see which one you like best and I mean you'd be doubling your odds that way...
SaintNick Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 I have to agree, I think Match.com is probably the best site. I have been on numerous dates and before I moved to Denver was almost getting serious with a girl from the site. I think POF is TERRIBLE! 1
Author jussie Posted May 29, 2013 Author Posted May 29, 2013 Thanks for all the feedback! I think all of you had helpful information for me. Due to my current financial situation, I think I'm going to stick with OkCupid. I haven't put my profile back up because I'm still not ready, but hopefully in time I will be. =)
soccerrprp Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 (edited) I laugh sometimes when I read about just how terrible OLD is....I've had good luck finding dates, but haven't found the "one" yet....[small sigh] I have had the most success with eHarmony, the least with OKCupid. My best, most meaningful relationships have come from eH. Dating another woman now from eH. The so-called scientific algorithm is wacked I think, but the ladies on there seem more serious. I have no idea about the men. But, yes, it is pricey for what you get in the end I suppose. Eh, different for different people. eH is more controlled, so you don't get to seek out partners. eH does it for you and then the communication is or can be systematic/robotic, but some people prefer that to immediately jumping into communicating. It slows things down. But, in the end, it's OLD. I found OKC to be a little lacking in the type of women I am interested in. I also hear that the more (or many) attractive partners are withheld until you reach some magical status or something. I don't know for certain. Edited May 29, 2013 by soccerrprp
Recommended Posts