Elias18 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Hello LS, I posted a couple of threads last couple of weeks. I'm a dumper, and I had my reasons, too much differences, differences in age and life perspective etc etc. It broke my heart when I broke up with her, but I know we had no future together. She is 18 and I'm 24, she is discovering herself and has a lot of partying to do. She wants to travel and is moving to another city to an university. Rationally I knew we weren't made for each other. The last months were very tough (BU 3 months ago), I thought about her all the time, was obsessing, snooping her FB sometimes, but I left her alone. After 2.5 months she contacted me, asking how I have been, I didn't respond. Responding was too painfull for me to do even though I'm the dumper. Honestly I think she would broken up with me eventually. It was a beautiful and intelligent women and I respected her. I was struggling to move on but had a few setbacks. I saw her with an other guy in a local bar. I have no hard feelings, good for her that she is moving on and she owes me nothing! But it was very painfull to see because I loved her still, emotionally I wanted a second chance but rationally I know it wouldn't work out. I miss being loved and I miss giving love to someone, I feel very alone sometimes. Last couple of days I recognise some indifference in myself, I think about her less often and I don't dwell on my emotions. I learned that I'm responsible for my obsessive thoughts about her and I'm the one who is keeping her alive in my head. Someone explained to me that I'm snowballing, a small thought that is keeping bigger and bigger and eventually ruines my day completely. There are triggers sometimes, last sunday I heard a song on the TV that she always sang for me. But over time my response to these triggers is far less worse than a couple of weeks ago, I think I'm moving on! I hope I won't see her in the near future (we live in the same city) because I don't want to experience another setback. It was a short intense relationship and I must be moving on! Today I didn't think about her a lot, I'm happy and I have not experienced any negative feelings. I learned that I misinterpret my negative feelings all the time, when I experience negativity I always attribute it to my ex. It is not possible to be happy all the time, life has it's ups and downs but there is no need for me to think about my ex all the time when I'm sad. Let's hope, she will not contact me, I will not see her and I will keep moving on! Thank you LS for all your advice!
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