LoveB86 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 He moves on so easily with the new girlfriend. So fast!! Guess they're really in love. Why can't I just put this freakin relationship to the side like him? Why can't dumpees just say "Eff this, I am moving on with this new girl/guy" and forget everyone else and their feelings just like a dumper. Why is this torture and the thoughts of him dumping me for her is consuming all of me? I try so hard to read books, listening to music, dance, smile and chat with just about anyone, exercising til I literally pass out, drive places to get stuck in traffic because I don't have anything else to do, shop til I run out of my spending cash, vent on LS, cry and pick myself up to move forward, looking for another job and finishing up with college as follows... BUT... This low life, cheating scumbag lives happily ever after. No respect for me and lives on like nothing. Like he must be apart of the devil team because he is beyond disrespectful, has no remorse for even cheating.. I am on the verge of losing my mind. I can no longer deal with this!! It'll be 2 months in a few days. Dead silence from him as He is happy with his new girlfriend... while I sit here thinking about this fool who clearly isn't thinking about me! I hate this life so much!
iouaname Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 This low life, cheating scumbag lives happily ever after. No respect for me and lives on like nothing. Like he must be apart of the devil team because he is beyond disrespectful, has no remorse for even cheating.. I am on the verge of losing my mind. I can no longer deal with this!! Try not to think of it in such absolute terms! He might be happy right now, and you might be unhappy right now, but that isn't a permanent state for either of you. There's going to come a time where you are happy and where he is unhappy, it's jut the way life works. I'm sorry that you're going through this! It sounds like you've been doing all of the right things, you just have to give it a little more time. 2 months is not that long at all, really! 1
bwasroy Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 The thing is Love, even if he wasn't with somebody else, you'd still be left with a lot of the feelings that you have now. It's hard to be dumped. It's hard to shake the feeling that deep down we're worthless or unwanted or perpetually doomed to want but not be wanted, to need and not really be needed. But take solace, if he really is a cheating scumbag, he's not going to live happily ever after. Good thing sometimes happen to bad people, but that doesn't mean this guy is going to live happily ever after and ride into the sunset. The universe tends to work in very unusual ways. 3
Author LoveB86 Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 I never wished anything bad on him nor his girlfriend. I respect them enough to let them be. I don't have the desire to break NC. I just want myself to feel good without faking the happiness. I lost all my confidence ever since and now got a third degree burn on my leg (happened over the weekend), so I really feel like I am dealing with mental and physical pain beyond the norm because I feel like I done something wrong to deserve this? But I didn't do anything!!! I am a good person and treated this man like he was the king in my world. He just preyed on this girl at our job because she always wear short dresses for attention. He got her now!! But why can't I just wake up and not have to think of this pain!! I hate waking up everyday! I am losing my mind and don't want to deal with this pain any longer.
CelticGibson Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 You are in the anger phase of grief. This is perfectly normal and shows that you are indeed progressing, even if it doesn't feel like it. At some stage you will enter the final phase of acceptance, then you will be free. Give it time... Keep up the No Contact, you are getting there... 3
Kristopher1 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 (edited) It's been really hard for me today, I feel you :/ I so badly want to contact her and let her know what sort of person she is, but I know that's not the right thing to do, I just feel so god damn betrayed, as if I was nothing to begin with to her, when I gave her everything! I just cannot believe how heartless she is, she truly must be a narcissist. No worries, I won't contact her, cannot, will not, must not, not. no. I have to be the better person, the bigger person here, despite how much I currently want to let everything in me out on her. How do girls like her seriously expect to have a future with someone when all she think about is herself? Meh..I hope this doesn't count as thread jacking, I was just reading what you had to say LoveB86 and it pushed me to write this. We will move on, I guess we're just having one of those "moments"... Edited May 28, 2013 by Kristopher1 2
crazy1234 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Hi there..you'r current situation is exactly like mine..I'm going through the same thing except that its okay..it hurts everyday but i get past it..its bothers me everyday bt i guess there's nothing we can do about it rather than swallowing the pain.My ex left me for someone else too and i think they are dating cause i saw them together(worst part he lives in my road),but hun i went through more with my ex swearing at me cause he wanted to get rid of me because of the new girl..You'r lucky u weren't there to hear that from your ex.All i can say is try to let go..its just been 2 months so its bound to take some time,its going to get better after like 3-3.5 months..so until than hold on..You'll be fine even though i know you have tried every possible way to forget it but keep doing what you'r doing and from what i can see you'r alot closer to the healing process.Try forgetting what he has done cause there is no closure you can get from any of his answers and please don't call him or talk to him.I would suggest you with absolute NC.We'r here whenever you need us:) 1
crederer Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Ya anger stage. I thought I was in anger stage a few weeks ago and I was experiencing some ill feeling towards her. Well in the last two days I gotta say, I was REALLY enraged thinking about her. Like so mad in some moments I could hardly even function, which is very out of character for me. I could actually feel my body temperature going up, heat coming off my face, etc. I've never really felt anger like that. 1
Kristopher1 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 It's crazy isn't it? I have to thank TaraMaiden though, If I hadn't followed her advice I'd be contacting her non stop..It's certainly not easy but I feel better about myself that I didn't go down that route and I am slowly recovering. I've said this countless times but, despite me loving her still, It's in her court to come forward, and admit to her mistakes. I'm perfectly fine moving on without her, it will just take some time. Here's to all the broken hearts who gave their everything! 5
Author LoveB86 Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 I am at work right now, but as soon as I get off, I am going to kick and punch my bed and cry!! I can't do this anymore.... I just want to end this. Having a breakdown right now. It's hard because I work across from the ex and and his new girlfriend, so I am face with seeing them more than I want too. More than I can handle b/c he thinks he done nothing!??! Smiling around like everyone loves him, does he remember what the hell he did to me!!? I have to sit back and let it go!! It's so hard... I've been sitting back and letting things be for 2 months!! I don't want to go another 5 months, 1 year like this. He doesn't deserve me, but why it seems like a million pieces to pick up!! Why can't I walk away from all of this so I can be happy again. I am wanting peace of mind from this. Is that too much to ask for!?
siankat Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 because you are casting you in the negative light and him in the positive. your perspective on you in relation to him is holding you back. do you remember being happy before him? you are second guessing what he is doing, thinking, feeling without having a clue!! What purpose does that serve except to make you feel bad. You are doing normal things but perhaps what you really need to do is challenge your opinion. You felt rejected, you felt like you lost control. Do something to disprove those two if you cannot accept them mentally. And i don't mean with him. Or...you can do what i did today and get a really bad haircut to distract urself with....no? see that is what i mean, you are trying to feel better but are in fact distracting yourself with negative thoughts as well....bad things don't help us feel better and whatever we do, is aimed at feeling a little better whether we reap rewards straight away or down the line. Go out with a friend, get dressed up, turn some heads, feel good, compliment ur friend, accept that we control very little as it is, and that you know NOTHING of who she is and with him so please stop building inaccurate fantasies in ur head. They dont exist. 3
metal_chick Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 He moves on so easily with the new girlfriend. So fast!! Guess they're really in love. Why can't I just put this freakin relationship to the side like him? Why can't dumpees just say "Eff this, I am moving on with this new girl/guy" and forget everyone else and their feelings just like a dumper. Why is this torture and the thoughts of him dumping me for her is consuming all of me? I try so hard to read books, listening to music, dance, smile and chat with just about anyone, exercising til I literally pass out, drive places to get stuck in traffic because I don't have anything else to do, shop til I run out of my spending cash, vent on LS, cry and pick myself up to move forward, looking for another job and finishing up with college as follows... BUT... This low life, cheating scumbag lives happily ever after. No respect for me and lives on like nothing. Like he must be apart of the devil team because he is beyond disrespectful, has no remorse for even cheating.. I am on the verge of losing my mind. I can no longer deal with this!! It'll be 2 months in a few days. Dead silence from him as He is happy with his new girlfriend... while I sit here thinking about this fool who clearly isn't thinking about me! I hate this life so much! It's been two months, I think you're being too hard on yourself. If he's such a twat, don't dedicate any more thinking to him. You don't know if he's living happily ever after. This girl just might be a bit more pliable and a bit less resistant to his charms. You don't know what will happen in the future. Just focus on you. It's been 2 months - that's the same as blinking. Give it time. Maybe go on a date? It doesn't have to go anywhere, you never have to see them again, just go out for a couple of drinks. It might help...
Author LoveB86 Posted May 29, 2013 Author Posted May 29, 2013 I didnt go home and beat my bed up. Instead, I took a long walk around the neighborhood. Am sad, but oh well.. Hope tomorrow will be a better day. Not sure what to think... my head is full
OzHeartache Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 I didnt go home and beat my bed up. Instead, I took a long walk around the neighborhood. Am sad, but oh well.. Hope tomorrow will be a better day. Not sure what to think... my head is full Your not alone LoveB, We all struggle with these thoughts (that's why we are here) so just try and take solace in the fact we are all going through it....Safety in numbers, We will get through it .....unfortunately, its just going to take time....I think that's the hard part 1
tvat Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 we are in the same boat. move on. im trying too even though its hard but eventually we will be fine 1
headsashed Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 I used to feel exactly how you felt, she cheated on me and she is happy and with someone else, I treat her like a queen and im the 1 suffering, I used to blame myself for the demise of our relationship and made her cheat,think you get my drift. You know what though, its all BS, they wont always be happy and they will be in our shoes, even though 12 month after my ex cheated on me and is now with her 2nd bf and all happy etc her time will come when the past demons will come to haunt them. No 1 goes through life being 100% happy all the time,this is your sad time and soon enough your happy time will be here and they will be all sad and hurt, the tables will have switched. Don't beat yourself up, just carry on the way you are doing because you are doing great and soon you will be free of all this pain.
Recommended Posts