God damn it...

[Giha]

I can't handle these mood swings anymore.

I thought I was doing so well...and then one trigger is all it took for me to find myself crying and sobbing helplessly.

 

*sigh*

 

I dream of her every night without fail. Dreams so sweet and toxic. And the nightmares...sleep is out of the menu.

 

Days seem so slow and pointless...I miss our inside jokes. They way she used to look at me. Her smile...

 

I want her back...but I also don't. My guts feel wrenched.

 

I don't know why I'm posting this. I feel so weak today. I'm ashamed of myself. But I just miss her so much...

[TheMink]

I can't handle these mood swings anymore.

I thought I was doing so well...and then one trigger is all it took for me to find myself crying and sobbing helplessly.

 

*sigh*

 

I dream of her every night without fail. Dreams so sweet and toxic. And the nightmares...sleep is out of the menu.

 

Days seem so slow and pointless...I miss our inside jokes. They way she used to look at me. Her smile...

 

I want her back...but I also don't. My guts feel wrenched.

 

I don't know why I'm posting this. I feel so weak today. I'm ashamed of myself. But I just miss her so much...

I know how you feel. I've been having a terrible few days as well. I miss everything about my girlfriend as well.

[mammasita]

I know how you feel too. It SUCKS really bad.

 

I was doing well and took about 150 steps backwards this weekend and now I feel like an idiot as I try to pick up the pieces again.

 

It does get better because I was seeing glimmers of happiness and hope.....and now I sit here struggling.

[BustedUpInside]

I can't handle these mood swings anymore.

I thought I was doing so well...and then one trigger is all it took for me to find myself crying and sobbing helplessly.

 

*sigh*

 

I dream of her every night without fail. Dreams so sweet and toxic. And the nightmares...sleep is out of the menu.

 

Days seem so slow and pointless...I miss our inside jokes. They way she used to look at me. Her smile...

 

I want her back...but I also don't. My guts feel wrenched.

 

I don't know why I'm posting this. I feel so weak today. I'm ashamed of myself. But I just miss her so much...

 

Don't feel ashamed! You are not weak for admitting that you have feelings for somebody. I think it takes a lot of courage to admit a truth that you wish wasn't true. It is really hard to acknowledge that you are still thinking about your ex frequently.

 

Give yourself some time. The dreams and nightmares don't go away all at once. Especially if you go No Contact. It is really like an addiction. Once the source of the high is gone, your brain seems to find any excuse to try and get you to contact that person again. Including giving them a leading role in your dreams.

 

You are doing fine. You are healing. Everyone has setbacks, everyone has the dreams. They will pass. You are strong!!

[Giha]

Don't feel ashamed! You are not weak for admitting that you have feelings for somebody. I think it takes a lot of courage to admit a truth that you wish wasn't true. It is really hard to acknowledge that you are still thinking about your ex frequently.

 

Give yourself some time. The dreams and nightmares don't go away all at once. Especially if you go No Contact. It is really like an addiction. Once the source of the high is gone, your brain seems to find any excuse to try and get you to contact that person again. Including giving them a leading role in your dreams.

 

You are doing fine. You are healing. Everyone has setbacks, everyone has the dreams. They will pass. You are strong!!

 

Thank you for your kind words.

 

I hope you are right. I feel just as bad as in the first days of the break up. I thought I was past this.

 

Seriously, people need to know that telling the dumpee he "did nothing wrong", or basically "it's not you, it's me" is the worst. My head works overtime trying to think where I went wrong. And as a result I blame myself for things I would NEVER end a relationship over...but I still blame myself for it, even though I know I loved her and took care of her like no one in her life ever did.

 

Ugh. Never mind. I suppose I'll just let time do its thing...

[BustedUpInside]

Thank you for your kind words.

 

I hope you are right. I feel just as bad as in the first days of the break up. I thought I was past this.

 

Seriously, people need to know that telling the dumpee he "did nothing wrong", or basically "it's not you, it's me" is the worst. My head works overtime trying to think where I went wrong. And as a result I blame myself for things I would NEVER end a relationship over...but I still blame myself for it, even though I know I loved her and took care of her like no one in her life ever did.

 

Ugh. Never mind. I suppose I'll just let time do its thing...

 

I know exactly what you mean. I don't like when my ex or my friends say things like "It's all his fault. You are too good for him. You are awesome, he sucks.....etc blah blah blah."

They are just trying to be nice, but the whole thing seems so insincere that it makes it hard to believe anything else they say regarding the relationship.

 

I know that I played a part in the reasons for my relationship ending and I am sure that you did too in yours. That doesn't mean that you are a bad person or that you "deserve" to be hurt, it just means that there were some incompatibilities that could not be fixed and so eventually it had to end.

 

Don't torture yourself trying to figure out where you went wrong. I am sure it wasn't any big character flaw. It was probably lots of little things building on both sides that just eventually tipped the scales. One thing I can say for sure is that you are fine, you didn't do anything "wrong", and eventually you will see that this particular relationship ending was no one's fault and that sometimes things just don't work out for lots of reasons.

[crederer]

I agree that it's annoying when people say all the cliche stuff. Yeah, I know, I'll find someone else, I know I'm a good guy. I know things will get better. I don't want to hear such one sided points of views. I wanna have a real talk about this and I'm not looking for someone to hold my hand like I'm a fragile little gerbil.

 

It seems I've been having dreams about my ex almost every night. Sleep, and right when I wake up are the worst moments for me.

 

Also, mammista, I thought you reconciled? what happened there?

[Giha]

I know exactly what you mean. I don't like when my ex or my friends say things like "It's all his fault. You are too good for him. You are awesome, he sucks.....etc blah blah blah."

They are just trying to be nice, but the whole thing seems so insincere that it makes it hard to believe anything else they say regarding the relationship.

 

I know that I played a part in the reasons for my relationship ending and I am sure that you did too in yours. That doesn't mean that you are a bad person or that you "deserve" to be hurt, it just means that there were some incompatibilities that could not be fixed and so eventually it had to end.

 

Don't torture yourself trying to figure out where you went wrong. I am sure it wasn't any big character flaw. It was probably lots of little things building on both sides that just eventually tipped the scales. One thing I can say for sure is that you are fine, you didn't do anything "wrong", and eventually you will see that this particular relationship ending was no one's fault and that sometimes things just don't work out for lots of reasons.

 

I know there were things I could've done better, but nothing unsolvable. She never talked to me about those things. Maybe there are other things I didn't even notice.

 

There's no point dwelling on it anymore...what's done is done and forwards is the only direction I should look.

 

And yeah, the moments after waking up from a dream are the worst. Feels like a dagger in the heart.

[eucalyptus]

I can totally relate to the idea of "blaming one's self for things that you, yourself would never have broken up with someone over".

 

I think the issue here is that while you are in the relationship, some of the things that occur just don't seem like a big deal in the moment, so we just write them off. There were many things during my recent relationship that I thought were relatively benign over reactions and nothing to really worry about long term. Mostly because my EX didn't seem to be that bent out of shape at the time. And to this day, I still believe that many of these instances were just that, minor misunderstandings. However, some of these issues were brought up at the end as being catalysts that in total pushed her towards her decision to move on.

 

So, I guess, the lesson to be learned, is that you're not perfect. Things are going to come up during a relationship. Some couples can put up with a lot more drama than others. The hard part is trying to determine whether some of these seemingly minor issues were in fact enough to push the dumper to the point of no return, or if they were just excuses to relieve the guilt they felt in moving on?

 

In the end, it doesn't really matter. The bottom line is that one person has decided to move on when the other wasn't really ready for it. There's no sense blaming yourself for not being Mr. or Mrs. Perfect during the relationship. Unless addiction, adultery, or abuse was involved, the dumper more than likely left for selfish reasons, and your perfect performance probably wouldn't have made a difference in the end.

[mtnbiker3000]

I know that I played a part in the reasons for my relationship ending and I am sure that you did too in yours. That doesn't mean that you are a bad person or that you "deserve" to be hurt, it just means that there were some incompatibilities that could not be fixed and so eventually it had to end.

 

Yup. I know it was incompatibilities that killed me and my ex. In a way, kinda glad it ended before we actually did get married and move on in life together. Then I would have been 100X worse than I am now... Now the trick becomes discovering and addressing incompatibilities early on in the RS. Before feelings develop too much

[alibaby]

I totally feel you on all of this.

 

it's a day to day struggle. The mornings have always been the worst for me, and I think it's because he is constantly in my dreams. When I wake up, I'm once again reminded of the nightmare. It's a punch in the stomach all over again.

 

We are strong, regardless of these feelings.

[amy10]

I know how you must be feeling right now. It's alright to feel this way when the person that you were so close to isn't there anymore. I also know that feeling that you want them back but at the same time you don't.

 

It's so easy for an old photo of you both of a song you both liked to make the feelings come flooding back to you just when you think you're ok. But it really does get better and in time you will heal, but you really have to believe you will be ok and tell yourself to be strong. do something to take your mind of her and you'll get there.