bana121 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Hey there everyone, Im new to the forum and im hoping i post this in the right spot. I've been reading threads on here for the last couple months trying to seek some type of help for myself and in most cases others stories have definitely helped. As a quick summary though, my ex broke up with me 4 months ago after a 2 year relationship that most would summarize as being something that they could only wish for. 2 years ago i met my ex and right away she was a person who i could see the rest of my life with. From the get go she was always one to surprise me and do everything she could to make me happy and i did the same. Couple months into the relationship i found out she had depression issues as well as being bi-polar which seemed to have been connected to her family life which was basically non-existent. I had the chance to run when i found all this out but i stayed with her because i loved who she was, depression or being bi-polar wouldn't change that in my eyes. Around this time she was constantly moving from her dad's house to mom's, even to her grandparents who also got divorced a week or two after she moved in. All in all she had a very rough year but i was always there for her. About 10 months into our relationship she got her own apartment so she could finally have her own place. We spent a lot of time together and after a couple months i started to stay there a couple nights a week and helped pay rent so she could go back to school. At this same point in time she bought herself a car which was a P.O.S and i ended up putting a lot of time and money into to make sure it was reliable for her. The next big thing was that for her to get into school she needed a cosigner for a small loan to get a loan through her school and no one in her family helped her so i did. Wasn't a big deal to me just another thing to help her with. Well that loan was taken out about 8 months ago and she broke up with me 4 months ago. When she broke up with me she did it by writing a letter that just told me it was over and take care of myself and she asked me to move out. So i did exactly that, i called a friend and moved out. I was very upset because i loved the girl and was completely blind sided by it. Even her closest friends who she works with called me that same evening to say they were sorry and they had no idea this was happening. During that evening while i was moving she was at work and she returned when i was still packing. When she returned she called the cops and asked me get out. Two days after that i had a police officer contact me and told me never to contact her again because she wants to get a restraining order against me which to this day i still don't know the reasoning behind it. For the last couple months I've been struggling with how it ended and how it went from being so amazing to the farthest thing from it. I was doing very well for awhile especially after i found out she had to move out of her apartment because she couldn't afford it and she had to drop out of school again for the same reason. Along with that i knew she was sleeping around a lot and i took refuge in that fact knowing she basically went to the deep end and i was able to keep my morals and keep moving on as hard as it was. That was until this past weekend when i found out she was in another relationship. I guess it doesn't bother me shes with another guy, it hurts me because im jealous that shes happy again and im not. Its almost like i feel like im stuck under a rock and even though i do a lot to keep my mind off of it, when i wake up in the morning alone the feeling is back again. To be honest i don't know what im looking for here to help me out. I just need to try something new because in the last 4 months i feel as if not much has changed in my mind. I appreciate all who read this and have some words of wisdom or a comment or two. Oh and sorry for it being so long.
Jake0711 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 dude, never worry about it being too long, same stuff happened with me. 6 months past break up and same stuff. let me promise you EVERY day you will see progress, maybe not much but you will still see it. and this site is to vent, so go for it! Every night before bed i focus on ONLY what progress ive made that day. never the negatives. i move throughout the day keeping myself focused on other things and thats all you can do. sorry my words are maybe not too convincing, but i tried my best brother! stay strong man 1
Col1 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 (edited) this past weekend when i found out she was in another relationship. I guess it doesn't bother me shes with another guy, it hurts me because im jealous that shes happy again The great thing about happiness is that there isn't a limited amount. Just because she might be happy doesn't mean that you can't be happy also. Based on what you wrote about your ex in the OP, I could list several reasons why she is bound to fail in her new relationship. But I won't. Why? Because it doesn't help you. Feeling bitter about her new relationship won't help you one bit. Let her go. Wish her happiness in your own mind. You are doing the right thing by taking time to heal before jumping into another relationship right away. You are re-charging your spirits so that your next relationship partner will get all of you (not just a fraction or a ghost of you). Take care of yourself. Best wishes. Edited May 28, 2013 by Col1 1
Author bana121 Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 I appreciate the words given, truly do. I completely agree with both of you and everyday i do see a change for the better. I just wish that my thoughts weren't so negative and i could be happier being single and enjoy what it has to offer. Obviously its one of those things that take time to get over, and I'm sure when i least expect it is when i won't realize the change and i'll be happier again. Just to bad the "easy button" doesn't work for this situation too in mean time.
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