Tartarus Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 (edited) I am a 29 year old student and barman in a Nightclub in Belfast. Last weekend ago a French customer whom I had struck up a conversation with, came up at the end of the night, once the music had stopped, and insisted I take her number. She made me promise I would call her. I didn't ask for the number, I barely gave her any attention all night, we just exchanged pleasantries and a very short conversation. I was highly surprised when she came back to the bar at the end and asked me to take her number. She then said she was going to a music event in a local park the next evening if I was free. I said I couldn't because I had plans, but that we could hang out another time. I am used to seeing drunk people, but she honestly didn't appear that bad to me. She was in high spirits dancing, but once the music stopped we chatted for a few minutes, and she was really normal. If she was drunk I wouldn't have bothered talking to her, as it looks really bad for barmen to be chatting up drunk girls, and it's not ethically sound. The next evening I sent her a short text saying, Hey X, this is Y from last night, how is the party? No reply I am really tempted to send another message, but don't want to appear desperate, which I'm not, it's more that she's a cutie and I don't mind pursuing. Why would she give me her number, and insist I call, but then not answer? The only explanation I can think of is that she was drunk or on pills, and it was just drunk/high talk but thinking back it really didn't seem like she was. Edited May 28, 2013 by Tartarus
Author Tartarus Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 But that doesn't make sense. She gives me her number at 3 am on a Saturday night, I text her on Sunday evening at 7pm. So she has met another guy in the intervening 16 hours?
MrRightNow Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 She either changed her mind about you or she's playing stupid games. Don't text her again.
Author Tartarus Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 Maybe she lost her phone or something?
GB25 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Girls do these type of things alllllllll the time..not even worth thinking about.. She was probably drunk/tipsy..dancing, having fun..she thought you were cute and exchanged numbers.. Then the next day rolled around and reality hit and she either has another guy she is talking to or she just doesnt wanna bother with you and was in the heat of the moment with the number exchange.. Like I said it happens a ton..not worth trying to find out why she would do such a thing..
sillyanswer Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Maybe she lost her phone or something? It's the second option. She's not interested. 1
IJustWantLove Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 There is definitely another guy in the picture. Anytime a girl doesn't respond the way you'd want her to, it's always because of another guy in the picture. I'd guess she has a boyfriend. Just know, you'd be unlucky to be this girl's boyfriend. Just think about it: If she were truly single and truly lonely, would she behave this way to a text message from you? There's your answer. The only long shot in all of this is she's so attracted to you that she feels she has to play games in order to keep your attention. I doubt that's the case. Assume logically and the logical assumption is there's a boyfriend in the picture who, himself, is not on solid ground either.
TigerCub Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I think she thought you were cute and gave you her number on impulse. Then she thought, he's a cute bartender (that's kinda intimidating) - and he must get lots of numbers from lots of girls and so its probably not worth pursuing. It may be a generalization and it may be unfair, but I'm guessing that's what she's now thinking sober. Either way, don't bother contacting her again.
Cutiepie1976 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 But that doesn't make sense. She gives me her number at 3 am on a Saturday night, I text her on Sunday evening at 7pm. So she has met another guy in the intervening 16 hours? If she's a cutie, easily. You'll end up with a good amount of numbers without even trying...and she was trying because she approached you (so assume she approached others that weekend). My guess is in the sober reality of Sunday, she changed her mind or was a little embarrassed about what she did while drinking, but I don't know her...it's a guess based on typical human nature. What I recommend is you text her one more time. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain from a second attempt. It's been a couple of days since your first attempt? Include your name and where you met, and suggest something casual--coffee or a quick bite at a cute bistro, for example.
Maleficent Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I think she thought you were cute and gave you her number on impulse. Then she thought, he's a cute bartender (that's kinda intimidating) - and he must get lots of numbers from lots of girls and so its probably not worth pursuing. This make sense but it would keep me from contacting him first. If he texted me I'd be like OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG he chose meeeeeeeeeee! and would definately reply.
TigerCub Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 This make sense but it would keep me from contacting him first. If he texted me I'd be like OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG he chose meeeeeeeeeee! and would definately reply. Yeah, unless she's thinking that he's used to girls throwing themselves at him and he's just calling her with only sex on his mind...
carhill Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 She made me promise I would call her. You didn't call her. Texting is not 'calling'. 1
Maleficent Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Yeah, unless she's thinking that he's used to girls throwing themselves at him and he's just calling her with only sex on his mind... True - if she doesn't want just sex then I would definitely pass.
Mrlonelyone Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 You didn't call her. Texting is not 'calling'. It really could be this. Yet, I don't blame you for texting OP. The overwhelming number of <30's these days act like calling on the phone is touching their undies. 1
daisybuchanan55 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Not to sound conceited, but this happens to me all the time. I give my number out without thinking twice and end up with a lot of texts post-weekend. Sometimes I'm in the middle of doing something and forget to respond. I would text her mid-week (weekends are bad because there's a lot going on; it's nice to receive a text mid-week!) and tell her it was nice meeting her and ask her for a drink. Don't bother with chit-chat. Busy, cute girls don't have time for idle text chit-chat. Just cut to the chase! I rarely turn down an invitation for a date, but I sometimes forget to respond to pointless texting. I doubt it's anything personal. Don't take it that way! Just be a little more persistent
Author Tartarus Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 You didn't call her. Texting is not 'calling'. I just called her, no answer.
Adele0908 Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 To me, she is playing the field, FLIRTING, and just having fun. Maybe she was slightly drunk/tipsy when she asked and may be embarrassed at her forwardness. I would not take this seriously. Maybe wait a few days and call again but after that, leave it alone.
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