Sweeetie Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 (edited) My (female) friend and I went to a club on Friday where we met a really cool guy who'd also come with a guy friend. He and I got on really well and we danced together, he seemed decent and not just a douchebag who wanted to get laid. He asked me if I was single. The next day, I got a text on my phone in the afternoon from him saying he was "thinking of having a little get-together at his place that night and wondering if my friend and I wanted to join." He also said "I live on the 10th floor and I know you like heights :)" so he remembered our conversations from the club. I actually received this text when I was on the train to go out of town to visit my family for the weekend since I hadn't been to see them in a while, so I explained why I couldn't make it and thanked him for the invite and said "definitely next time". He texted me during his get-together that night and said they were watching the champions league final on tv and asked me "where's home for you?" I texted back a bit later that night and then asked him how the get-together went- that was Saturday night and no reply yet. It appears that he has lost interest but why would he lose interest so quickly? He invited me to a get-together when he was sober which means there was something there.. I do like this guy, should I send him another text asking if he fancies going for a drink? What would be a good text to send? Edited May 28, 2013 by Sweeetie
Buttercup84 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Be careful. He obviously had something in mind, and I would not go to a guys place with all his friends there. If he wanted to get to know you he would meet you during the day. I have a bad feeling about him.
Maleficent Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Be careful. He obviously had something in mind, and I would not go to a guys place with all his friends there. If he wanted to get to know you he would meet you during the day. I have a bad feeling about him. He invited her and her friends to join them. Not just her. A small get ttogether among friends seems like a decent -and safe- way to get to know someone. OP, text him an invite for a coffee and see what he says?
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Because men are looking for something "right now" on their watch. So when you missed out or had to cancel....regardless of the reason he lost interest merely because you weren't able to make it to his convenient "get together". I think it's a bit ridiculous to suggest that just because he seemed cool and like a genuine guy doesn't mean he wasn't setting anything up for sex...I mean he invited you to his house at night, anything can happen, don't pretend to know what men are think or how they behave, that's when you'll get a nice slap of reality. You don't know the guy, his character, his true-self, no matter what his first impression may have been...this is a common mistake women make with men over and over again and then they wonder they their so surprised by the behavior of men. There are a ton of guys who are good at this front. Let him contact you, you already gave him a valid reason...i'm sure he'll come back around after some time, he's probably just thinking or juggling options...either way, don't initiate the contact, the guy was bold and cool enough to engage you at a club, and then invite you back to his place...so he's not completely inept and foolish, whether he's genuine or not you don't know the character of this guy, you've met him one single damn night for crying out loud. 3
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 He invited her and her friends to join them. Not just her. A small get ttogether among friends seems like a decent -and safe- way to get to know someone. OP, text him an invite for a coffee and see what he says? Yeah right, because there is no such thing as taking a girl back to your room after everyone else "goes to sleep" or it gets late so she can just stay over....decent and safe? ha! Lot of guys initiate their booty calls in that exact same manner. 1
Woohoo Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Don't overlook the possibility of competition. Attractive men, as in men who know how to attract women, are hard to come by. Likely their are others in his life. 1
Maleficent Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Yeah right, because there is no such thing as taking a girl back to your room after everyone else "goes to sleep" or it gets late so she can just stay over....decent and safe? ha! Lot of guys initiate their booty calls in that exact same manner. And you're assume she would let herself get dragged to his room and sleep over because...? I say it's safe because her friends would have been there. Am I the only one who got that? What's wring with a booty call anyway?
Emilia Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 It appears that he has lost interest but why would he lose interest so quickly? He invited me to a get-together when he was sober which means there was something there.. I do like this guy, should I send him another text asking if he fancies going for a drink? What would be a good text to send? You texted him once and he didn't respond so I wouldn't send another one. Most men wouldn't invite you back to their place so quickly, regardless whether it's with a friend or not. I met guys in bars and the next step they took was a date in a public place. They also gave more notice. I suppose what I'm saying is that nice men are not so assuming.
ThatDudeXO Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Did you try texting back a day or 2 later? I ignored a few texts during the Champions League final! Lol.....besides seems like he just wanted sex.
Author Sweeetie Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 Did you try texting back a day or 2 later? I ignored a few texts during the Champions League final! Lol.....besides seems like he just wanted sex. Oh my last text to him was after the game finished; the text that he didn't reply to. It is quite weird though...and yes I do think he just wanted sex. Another possibility is that he might have wanted to introduce me and my friend to his guys, so perhaps he himself wasn't that into me but thought his friends would want some girls there. So you all think I shouldn't text him at all?
Woohoo Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Oh my last text to him was after the game finished; the text that he didn't reply to. It is quite weird though...and yes I do think he just wanted sex. Another possibility is that he might have wanted to introduce me and my friend to his guys, so perhaps he himself wasn't that into me but thought his friends would want some girls there. So you all think I shouldn't text him at all? Shoot one more text and be done with it. If you are interested in a more sexual relationship let him know.
daisybuchanan55 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 DO NOT text him again. Let him pursue. He was probably totally involved in the game and forgot to respond. Trust me, give it a few days or a week even, he will remember you and text. Just be patient! Everything does not have to happen RIGHT THIS SECOND. And btw, NEVER initiate a date. You won't get anywhere with that type of behavior. 1
Author Sweeetie Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 DO NOT text him again. Let him pursue. He was probably totally involved in the game and forgot to respond. Trust me, give it a few days or a week even, he will remember you and text. Just be patient! Everything does not have to happen RIGHT THIS SECOND. And btw, NEVER initiate a date. You won't get anywhere with that type of behavior. I do hope he remembers me. He seemed awesome. 3 days now and no text...I'm just thinking that with each passing day since that night he is forgetting about me
daisybuchanan55 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I do hope he remembers me. He seemed awesome. 3 days now and no text...I'm just thinking that with each passing day since that night he is forgetting about me He will probably remember you!! Don't worry! Have confidence in your own awesomeness! And if by some chance he doesn't text you again, don't worry about it. He wasn't the right one for you. Think of it this way when you're tempted to text...I'm sure you have had guys you're not interested in who continue to pursue and pursue...just sending out little "feeler" texts...being super persistent despite no hope from your end...that's how you know a guy really likes you. You won't need to guess. Weeks may go by between their texts (but you aren't noticing bc you don't like them lol) but they never really "go away." This might happen with this guy. If he really likes you he WILL contact you again at some point. He won't forget! 2
Author Sweeetie Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 (edited) So 6 days later, and with no more texts being exchanged between us since my "how was your get-together?" text which he never replied to, this morning I got a text from him saying he and his mate are going clubbing and asked me if i want to join them with my friends. This text annoyed me- it is like he thinks he can just pick me up when he wants to, and then ignores me the rest of the time. I really don't know where I stand- does he just see me as a buddy or does he want more than that? I haven't replied to him yet, I'm sick so I can't go out tonight anyway, I have a flu virus, I am going to reply soon to tell him. The last thing he invited me to, the get-together at his place, I was going out of town so I couldn't make it then either. I do kinda like him though so I don't want him thinking I'm just not interested. What would be a good way to reply back? Edited May 31, 2013 by Sweeetie 1
KathyM Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 I think you need to make your interest clear that you want to see him, rather than just keep giving him excuses. . . . "That sounds like fun, but I'm actually sick right now and can't go anywhere. I really do want to go out with you, though, so I hope we can do it another time."
Author Sweeetie Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 I think you need to make your interest clear that you want to see him, rather than just keep giving him excuses. . . . "That sounds like fun, but I'm actually sick right now and can't go anywhere. I really do want to go out with you, though, so I hope we can do it another time." Yes, but he didn't reply to my message when I asked him how his get-together went...seemed like he just wanted / wants me for one thing.
Emilia Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Yes, but he didn't reply to my message when I asked him how his get-together went...seemed like he just wanted / wants me for one thing. It's not so much whether he replied or not: he doesn't seem to want to get to know you. This is the key part 1
Author Sweeetie Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 It's not so much whether he replied or not: he doesn't seem to want to get to know you. This is the key part It's a real shame when a guy seems really interesting but is not interested in getting to know you.
Emilia Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 It's a real shame when a guy seems really interesting but is not interested in getting to know you. Not your fault love.
sillyanswer Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 He texted me during his get-together that night and said they were watching the champions league final on tv So none of the other girls he and his friends texted turned up either? He probably lost interest because you didn't go to his place.
Sunshine87 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 What's up with ignoring a simple question and then sending a text message 6 days later asking to go clubbing? He obviously just wants some casual fun. Don't put your heart into this one. You could reply something like "Hey can't make it tonight. I'm really sick but I'm happy to meet anyother time. Maybe xxx (insert a day). If he doesn't respond, NEXT! 2
KathyM Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Yes, but he didn't reply to my message when I asked him how his get-together went...seemed like he just wanted / wants me for one thing. I wouldn't jump to that conclusion at this point. He invited you out to the club. That doesn't necessarily mean sex.
Author Sweeetie Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 So none of the other girls he and his friends texted turned up either? He probably lost interest because you didn't go to his place. That's what I thought but then he texted me this morning asking me to go partying
Author Sweeetie Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 I wanted to reply in a way that might induce his attraction a bit more, so I sent him a flirty text: "Ah still have me on your mind eh? You got me at the wrong time again...I'm down with the flu! Had to cancel a weekend trip to Poland for that too :,(. Have a great time, lets see if it's 3rd time lucky. :)" If he doesn't reply, to hell with it! 1
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