Leigh 87 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Wow. Reading the breaking No Contact horror stories is seriously disgusting me. It makes me want to stick to NC with an iron grip. I am seriously holding onto it with my life, in the same way I would if I were holding onto a rope dangling over a river full of sharks and.. those nasty fish that eat you alive in South America. Paranas? Anyways Guys, is anyone willing to make me even MORE sickened and afraid of the pain that I WILL feel if I break NC? The girl who saw her ex take the new girl to the wedding and saw their pics via facebook REALLY perturbed me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyone else care to reinforce how much PAIN I will go through if I even break NC just once?
Author Leigh 87 Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 ..I am hoping that some of you will be kind enough to spend a few mins telling me about how THEY went wrong with NC, so that I can at least gain something from their pain. May as well help others with your pain, right?
metal_chick Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 How much more reinforcement do you need? You're not wavering, are you? It's only been a day... 7
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Well, I can tell you what went RIGHT with NOT breaking NC: I'm healing. I'm well aware we'll never be together again. I don't like it, but I accept it. I only wished I'd found this forum MONTHS sooner...I would have saved myself from the crying, begging, pleading that broke me as a man. Consider yourself lucky you found it earlier, and heed the advice you get. It will saves you TONS of heartache. 5
Author Leigh 87 Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 How much more reinforcement do you need? You're not wavering, are you? It's only been a day... NOT WAVERING. Dude. I feel SICK at he thought of what breaking it will do to me. I am deathly scared, Metal Chick. IN ADDITION to genuinely wanting to end this pain I am going through by moving on. I actually write a journal now to help me deal with the immense pain. I am a lot of pain....... I just like to hear from others how much MORE PAINFUL it will be to break NC. This pain? I can handle. Breaking NC to find out he is madly in love with a hotter, better girl that all his mates love? NOT OKAY. NEVER WILL BE. I Just never want to hear from him again! I can handle this now. This pain I am feeling NOW is bad enough!
metal_chick Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 NOT WAVERING. Dude. I feel SICK at he thought of what breaking it will do to me. I am deathly scared, Metal Chick. IN ADDITION to genuinely wanting to end this pain I am going through by moving on. I actually write a journal now to help me deal with the immense pain. I am a lot of pain....... I just like to hear from others how much MORE PAINFUL it will be to break NC. This pain? I can handle. Breaking NC to find out he is madly in love with a hotter, better girl that all his mates love? NOT OKAY. NEVER WILL BE. I Just never want to hear from him again! I can handle this now. This pain I am feeling NOW is bad enough! But the stories are all over LS. Have you considered that perhaps other posters having to relive their stories could be painful for them? If you Google "No contact Loveshack", I'm sure you'll find plenty of stories without making people relive them for your benefit... 2
Author Leigh 87 Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 Well, I can tell you what went RIGHT with NOT breaking NC: I'm healing. I'm well aware we'll never be together again. I don't like it, but I accept it. I only wished I'd found this forum MONTHS sooner...I would have saved myself from the crying, begging, pleading that broke me as a man. Consider yourself lucky you found it earlier, and heed the advice you get. It will saves you TONS of heartache. Dude. Had I NOT come here and read about NC, we would still both be sleeping together in the same bed, hugging at night and holding hands and being loved up like we always were. Neither of us would move on, yet; we would probably not move back ONTO each other, either. Which would have lead WHERE? I would have either changed for the better and he would have wanted me back OR OR OR MOST likely, he would realise he was no longer IN love with me and hook up with another girl. We were so tight that I doubt he would have fallen for another girl since I could feel that he felt too strongly for me. He still told me he had way too strong feelings for me to move on. What would that bring though? It would hold him back from moving on and finding a women he wanted to commit to, and keep him being lovey dovey with a women he only loved: and did not love ENOUGH to be with. Yet if he did not get back ON me, so to speak, he would not have remained abstinent forever. He would have hooked up. Maybe he would have started to distance himself and I would have freaked out all over again; I would go through the break up all over again had I don't this...... ............................. NC has saved me, once I GET THROUGH IT. Guys. THINK OF HOW TERRIBLE THE ALTERNATIVE to NC IS!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is sickening.
Author Leigh 87 Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 But the stories are all over LS. Have you considered that perhaps other posters having to relive their stories could be painful for them? If you Google "No contact Loveshack", I'm sure you'll find plenty of stories without making people relive them for your benefit... Yeah re living utter humiliation would be awful, you're right. I will be doing that. I am sure not going to google "second chances" and delude myself. My girl friend is young, and her ex did not know if he was in love with her or not, etc etc, treated her badly... She moved when he said he was "only 50/50%" sure about his feelings towards her. He rang, told her they would never work things out if she remained there, so she CAME BACK. After living together for a couple of months he stopped having sex with her for 2 months, only to break up with her again and become "unsure" MONTHS.. 8 months AFTER the break up she is STILL stuck on him:sick: And he treated her far worse than my ex treated me:sick: I feel genuine agony for her and others in her predicament! I would lose all respect for myself if I pined after a man who no longer even thought about me I lost respect already through the relationship with him, but it is still intact at least. I like myself a lot as a person.
KPChick000 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Haha glad to know that my horror story can help you maintain NC. Stick with it. Do not search for things online. Do not contact him. Do not let him contact you. The end.
Author Leigh 87 Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 Haha glad to know that my horror story can help you maintain NC. Stick with it. Do not search for things online. Do not contact him. Do not let him contact you. The end. I do move towns, and he knows now to call me months later if he is not single. He knows me. He knows I would freak out. He told me a million times that " YES Leigh 87, I will only ever contact you again if I am single AND I want you back in a new and improved relationship" I told him about going NC for two weeks post break up. He knew it was coming, and he knew why. He knew that I never wanted to hear from again unless he changed his mind. He would have to be mentally retarded to ignore my pleas of not contacting me again UNLESS he wanted another chance at things. If I am totally honest with myself, and since I have told him very well that I do not want to hear from him UNLESS ________ happens, I will answer a text if it says his father has died from his cancer, which is currently in remission. I won't answer the phone call, but come on; if his father dies and he TEXTS it to me (so I know it is not breadcrumbs) I won't ignore it. I would suck it up and attend the funeral with him, even if it meant facing his new girlfriend. I just won't answer his phone calls unless he texts and asks for me back or says something terrible has happened and needs my support. ............................ It must have been so heavy for you, dealing with that after a mere two months! What helps me is: I replace any thought or image of HIM when it comes up, with a new future guy. Not that I WANT the future guy to come along in any haste; I just replace images and thoughts of my PAST with other things Some times I think of myself graduating; sometimes I think of myself helping charity; sometimes I think about having sex with a hot new lover. I just replace ANY thought of HIM with something ELSE. I also repeat to myself " what he does is NONE of my concern" I repeat it thousands of time a day. It is helping so far.
Author Leigh 87 Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 I have the heaviest feeling. I cannot even get up off my seat. It is just a terribly heavy and gut wrenching feeling. I don't want this pain to ever get worse. I want to deal with this hell and move the fck on. If I think THIS is bad..... Contacting someone when they are with or hooking up with new girls that they are into will hurt 1000 fold. I am in a bad way and struggling with not being able to call him. It feels so unnatural to NOT call him when I am in pain. He was the first person I went to when I felt pain. I won't crack dw I am journaling and have things to do. I post in the post here instead of contacting your ex NC thread in the coping section a LOT; and it has been a mere DAY with no contact, since we said our last goodbye. It feels so much easier to just be able to talk to him. I mean, he is no over me yet either and he stressed to me that no he is not banging other chicks. ......... One more day of his comfort through a simple phone call will just make it take LONGER to forget about him and lose the need to talk to him when I am down.
Author Leigh 87 Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 I am imagining him now with another girl, totally happy and not looking back. That is what I have to think about WHENEVER I feel the urge to contact him. It is only a matter of time before he truly is acting that image out in real life. I cannot handle THAT and therefore I cannot handle talking to him.
FailedFirstLove Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 (edited) I will tell you what happens when you don't stick to no contact... I broke no contact about a month after all that effort. I was hoping he would change his mind. I told him all the terrible things I went through and he was too busy to care much. After awhile he started calling me everyday. I told him to not do that cause ill get used to it. Well it only lasted a week or two before he completely disappeared for a few days. I went through hell. And my anxiety was the worst it could be. And finding out he was with the girl that was previously all over him when he was drunk. he promised he wouldn't do that but he did. He talked to me only when it was convenient for him. Telling me he would consider comin back... Only consider. I stayed by his side while he did whatever he wanted. then I let my guard down. Unblocked him on fb and he was obviously flirty with all these girls. They posted all over his fb. He bought them gifts and bday presents. Then when I asked he just blocked me off fb and Skype. Avoid the pain. Deal with it all at once. But the sweet thing is once u deal with it, it eventually goes away. The problem with you is that you ponder on it way too much. You should go do stuff to keep your mind off it. The more you think the worst it gets and the urge to contact comes back. Edited May 28, 2013 by FailedFirstLove
mammasita Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Yes you will feel SICK, like I do right now. I thought I was so strong and that I could see my ex without skipping a beat, without caring. I was completely kidding myself. I got sucked in and my hope meter went up and now I'm feeling like a complete idiot.
Author Leigh 87 Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 Yes you will feel SICK, like I do right now. I thought I was so strong and that I could see my ex without skipping a beat, without caring. I was completely kidding myself. I got sucked in and my hope meter went up and now I'm feeling like a complete idiot. Oh dear, what happened?! The dude who came back? I'm sorry your hurting. Your not an idiot. Sadly, it seems like our emotions get he better of us and override the good and logical decisions. I would still skip a beat if I saw my ex. In 3 months I will still know full well that I will skip A MILLION BEATS the second we come into contact. I know it is either all or nothing for me.. I am so in love with him that I won't ever be able to handle just talking to him, in person or via phone.
mammasita Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Oh dear, what happened?! The dude who came back? I'm sorry your hurting. Your not an idiot. Sadly, it seems like our emotions get he better of us and override the good and logical decisions. I would still skip a beat if I saw my ex. In 3 months I will still know full well that I will skip A MILLION BEATS the second we come into contact. I know it is either all or nothing for me.. I am so in love with him that I won't ever be able to handle just talking to him, in person or via phone. yes the one who messaged me. Im still friends with his sisters and they practically begged me to go to their BBQ/Bday party this sunday. Against my better judgement, I gave in and went. I ended up sleeping with my ex......and guess what - he doesn't want me back.
Author Leigh 87 Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 I will tell you what happens when you don't stick to no contact... I broke no contact about a month after all that effort. I was hoping he would change his mind. I told him all the terrible things I went through and he was too busy to care much. After awhile he started calling me everyday. I told him to not do that cause ill get used to it. Well it only lasted a week or two before he completely disappeared for a few days. I went through hell. And my anxiety was the worst it could be. And finding out he was with the girl that was previously all over him when he was drunk. he promised he wouldn't do that but he did. He talked to me only when it was convenient for him. Telling me he would consider comin back... Only consider. I stayed by his side while he did whatever he wanted. then I let my guard down. Unblocked him on fb and he was obviously flirty with all these girls. They posted all over his fb. He bought them gifts and bday presents. Then when I asked he just blocked me off fb and Skype. Avoid the pain. Deal with it all at once. But the sweet thing is once u deal with it, it eventually goes away. The problem with you is that you ponder on it way too much. You should go do stuff to keep your mind off it. The more you think the worst it gets and the urge to contact comes back. Wow what a low life. I think it is very clear to him that you still had it for him and he was too selfish to just let you go. He only seems to care about his ego. I I mean, at least I know my ex KNOWS how hopelessly in love I am to the point of overlooking things he did that most women wouldn't. He knows I would be loyal to him when I go to Europe in a month, in a heartbeat. If he moved on and found someone else, he would be freakin retarded if he attempted to contacting me, knowing full well the affect he has over me. Are the just seriously deranged, slow, or dense?
Author Leigh 87 Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 yes the one who messaged me. Im still friends with his sisters and they practically begged me to go to their BBQ/Bday party this sunday. Against my better judgement, I gave in and went. I ended up sleeping with my ex......and guess what - he doesn't want me back. :sick: what a sickening situation. My stomach turns even thinking about myself going through those motions. I am blocking my exes number. **** that ****e. He would throw me the same breadcrumbs: " I love you, maybe one day but not right now, the relationship was not working but I love you and miss you so terribly" Then he will throw in "maybe soon you never know" UGH. UGH. UGH. I think your story has scared me into submission. Must. Block. Number. He. Won't. Want. Me. Back. If he calls or texts again. Which I know he WILL. He will just feed me the " I miss you and care so much about you and I want you in my life" bullcr@p.
Author Leigh 87 Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 I kept breaking NC and I know he thinks that he will be able to just keep texting occasionally to check up on me. I know he will try to have me in his life even just via text and occasionally torturing me with the " come and see the dogs and puppies" I did not show him that I could be taken seriously with NC. He was just like " I respect your decision but come you just said goodbye the other day and then texted. We will still talk come on, we are such close people to one another" He thinks because he is not sleeping around yet and is not ready for it, that we can just be friends and "close people" to each other. Yet without sex or being together. That is what he would say he wanted before NC - he wanted to hold my freakin hand and act all lovey but WITHOUT sex and WITHOUT hope of getting back together. And yes I Know for a fact he is not sleeping around, as he is still overcoming the shock of losing his other half so to speak. Still though, he will move on even if we hang out!!! Since he will not just get the feelings back that will compel him to be with me. I cannot make him change the way he feels about me if he lacks the emotions to want me in a relationship. Being around him would hold him back from moving on for a while but fck, I am the one who is still IN LOVE with him enough to want a relationship; he obviously does not feel as strongly, or he would not be so ADAMANT about "not being together for now" I am the one who would end up FCKWED over; he would just move on to someone else. I will always be stuck on him as long as I have any communication with him. Sorry to hear about your stories guys. I have said all I needed to say about my own situation now. I've said all I needed to say. It is too clear, this situation with my ex. To have anything left that I need to process.
shawngee Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I can tell you that I broke NC, because I felt guilty about how I acted. The contact took the form of hurting each other so much more then had already been done. All that contact did was create more pain on both sides. The bruised egos, crazy emotions, and anger were completely insane. Looking back, it would have just been better to stick no contact and get busy trying to deal with the dissolution of the relationship. 1
iouaname Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I allowed no contact to be broken several times and I payed for it with humiliation, embarrassment, guilt, and the loss of respect & dignity. 1
na49 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I broke NC once and I burst into flames immediately. don't do it. 6
markhe Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Don't break NC! It only causes more pain and heartbreak! It just sets you back! I made mistake little over week ago she called about ten times ignored her. Nut talked to her later that night. Worst mistake I ever made! She dumped me after little over 4 years changed door locks on me fo7nd put via phone bill she had been having long phone conversations with guy while we were still living together. I told her can't talk to her I email we still have some financial stuff take care of. But can't hearher voice it's to painful. She was trying call oher day to ignored it. Don't break it move on!
AlexDP Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I remember a girl in high school. I had this love/hate relationship with her. We were sort of a couple sometimes, then we weren't. She had a boyfriend at some point, but I had the misfortune of being in her class and had to see her every single day. The horror? I guess that I kept pining after her for two full years. Then high school was over and I pretty much forgot all about her in two days. And I'm not exaggerating. Two days without contact was all it took.
LostGirl11 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 When did you speak to him last? Yesterday, wasn't it? You felt like utter **** afterwards, didn't you? You know you feel better when you don't talk to him, and thats after one day..... You just need to remember how you felt after that phone call.
Recommended Posts