prettypeach20 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I've been casually dating this guy (mid 20s) from my gym for the past 2 months. He initiated date 1,2,3 and 4 - saw each other once a week. I asked him out on date 5. A week went by and he didn't initiate any dates but he initiated texts so I eventually asked him out on date 6 which he couldn't do but he texted me to reschedule a day. Another week went by and he didn't initiate any dates, just talked to me for 20 mins at the gym. Then I asked him if he wanted to do grab a drink or lunch next week. He replied with: 'ya for sure, when are you free?' I told him: 'Thurs, Fri and Sat' and he said 'alright maybe Thurs or Fri. What are you up to today?' and then I replied to his text telling him about my day etc. Would a guy reply like this and agree on a date if he wasen't interested? and does his lack of initiative since date 5 signify lack of interest? (I know he is currently busy planning his brother's bachelor party and mom's bday - both in 2 weeks)
Cutiepie1976 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Not interested. Politely blowing you off to limit awkwardness when he sees you at the gym. If he were interested, you would have a concrete date on the books, especially given your repeated efforts to schedule something. 1
TaraMaiden Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Would he reply like this if he wasen't interested in going out with me? Evidently. Otherwise he would be going out with you.
Author prettypeach20 Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 Not interested. Politely blowing you off to limit awkwardness when he sees you at the gym. If he were interested, you would have a concrete date on the books, especially given your repeated efforts to schedule something. Wouldn't he just say he's super stressed with wedding/birthday preparations if he wanted to be polite about it...instead of asking when I am free/about how my day is going and all that...?
mortensorchid Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Same thing happened to me once a few years ago, you think you're on the edge of something and then all of a sudden *poof* they vanish. He's not really interested because otherwise he would be saying he will definitely be seeing you on the appointed date/time. Move on.
Carenth Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Not interested, he is just politely brushing you off. If he was interested he would make time to initiate and help make plans and you know.... actually be dating you.
TaraMaiden Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Wouldn't he just say he's super stressed with wedding/birthday preparations if he wanted to be polite about it...instead of asking when I am free/about how my day is going and all that...? No. he hardly knows you. Why would he be so forward and 'let you in' on his private life? he's keeping you at arm's distance.
Carenth Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I had to do this once with an ex-colleague who really wanted to pursue something with me. I just was not interested, very nice person just couldn't see myself being in a relationship with them. I still had to see them from time to time and it was quite awkward with them being so forward. They kept asking me out and I had to tell them I wasn't interested in a relationship when they didn't get the hint I wasn't interested.
Cutiepie1976 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Wouldn't he just say he's super stressed with wedding/birthday preparations if he wanted to be polite about it...instead of asking when I am free/about how my day is going and all that...? But he did! He tried not asking for another date. He tried using his mother and brother as excuses. You've persisted anyway. You may push even harder as soon as his brother's bachelor party and mom's birthday party are over. So instead now, he's telling you "don't call me, I'll call you" or rather don't ask me out, I'll ask you. Maybe Thursday or Friday...then conveniently forgets to follow up...maybe abc if you ask again...oops swamped all week....maybe xyz...shucks, last minute conflict, etc. Hey, how about tonight...say 10 or 11 pm? Why don't you come by my place when I finish up with *blah blah blah*? Either that or the excuses for avoiding an actual date will just get more outlandish until you stop asking and he avoids creating awkwardness for himself at the gym. Just let it go. He likes his gym and seems to have zero interest in dealing with your emotions and the awkwardness of outright rejecting you. But his actions, like your interest level, are crystal clear, whether you wish to accept them or not. Stop stringing yourself for weeks (maybe even months), repeatedly asking and hoping he might finally get around to having another date with you. If he had wanted one, it would have happened. He was capable of initiating and planning earlier dates. Now he has stopped. Dead end. Move on to others. 1
MrRightNow Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I'm 99% sure he's not interested. When a guy is truly interested in a girl, he'll find the time to see her, even if his schedule is busy.
snowflakes88 Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Not interested. Planning a party 2 weeks out never stopped anyone from eating lunch or drinking a beverage, that I'm aware of. Asking about your day doesn't mean much... and the timing of it sounds like he was just trying to change the subject to avoid committing to a date.
crederer Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Maybe he's just playing this "not as interested in you as you are in me" card everyone seems to think works, as the least interested partner is the one that wins....seems to be working on you actually maybe I'll try that next time.
Divasu Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 have you slept together? That's the million dollar question right there.
Author prettypeach20 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 But he did! He tried not asking for another date. He tried using his mother and brother as excuses. You've persisted anyway. You may push even harder as soon as his brother's bachelor party and mom's birthday party are over. So instead now, he's telling you "don't call me, I'll call you" or rather don't ask me out, I'll ask you. Maybe Thursday or Friday...then conveniently forgets to follow up...maybe abc if you ask again...oops swamped all week....maybe xyz...shucks, last minute conflict, etc. Hey, how about tonight...say 10 or 11 pm? Why don't you come by my place when I finish up with *blah blah blah*? Either that or the excuses for avoiding an actual date will just get more outlandish until you stop asking and he avoids creating awkwardness for himself at the gym. Just let it go. He likes his gym and seems to have zero interest in dealing with your emotions and the awkwardness of outright rejecting you. But his actions, like your interest level, are crystal clear, whether you wish to accept them or not. Stop stringing yourself for weeks (maybe even months), repeatedly asking and hoping he might finally get around to having another date with you. If he had wanted one, it would have happened. He was capable of initiating and planning earlier dates. Now he has stopped. Dead end. Move on to others. He actually apologized and talked about how busy/stressed he was when I recently saw him at the gym - I didn't talk to him, he just came up behind me and started talking to me. Then he told me that we can meet for coffee or something after he was done work on Saturday... Do you guys still think that him being 'busy' is a bunch of BS? I mean, he is making effort to meet up for coffee or drinks after his shift...or do you guys think he will use this oppertunity to tell me he is not interested anymore? **No we have not slept together, nor has he invited me over at his place or tried anything
Author prettypeach20 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 Did you blow him? I hate to be blunt, but... Also, he's not interested. If he were interested, he would be asking you out on a real date, not the coffee or drinks bs. No, didn't blow him. The furthest we've gone is make out.... 1
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