InAFog Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 So it's one year later after a very difficult and life altering break up. I was doing great and actually celebrating the 1 yr. anniversary of singleness. We had a lot of property and financial stuff going so we were in contact till fairly recently. Then after everything was settled and we said a final GOODBYE, which i was sooo stoked for, he texts me out of the blue about what's happening in his life. I only responded with a curt reply, but thought it was weird. Til i find out this weekend at my cousins graduation party that a member of my family has been calling him and keeping in contact!!!!! I couldn't believe it!! I had already expressed my EXTREME distaste for anyone being 'chummy' with him to this person and they are still contacting him!!!! I feel so absolutely hurt and betrayed and ANGRY!!! Has anyone had this happen? Where a family member pretty much refuses to stop contact with an ex?? How did you deal with it? I didn't bring it up much since it was my cousins time and i didn't want to make a scene, but it's really eating me up! I just want me and my exes lives severed and god knows what they talk about!! I hate the thought that they're telling him my business and him thinking that they still want him as a part of the family after everything he's done!!! 1
BustedUpInside Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Ugh, I can totally relate to this. One of my family members has been keeping in contact with my ex and they even made plans to hang out the next time my family member is in the same town. I have made it known that the breakup has been really hard on me and I would prefer if all contact was severed because i don't want to hear anything about what he is doing and I don't want him to know anything about my life either. After I found out about the contact, I confronted my family member and asked why they were still talking. He said that he thought it was an amicable break up and that my ex had told him that he still cared about me and that even though the relationship was over he still wanted everyone to be friends. I explained to my family member that the decision to be friends is not my ex's to make. He said he wouldn't talk to him anymore. My advice is to confront your family member. Let them know how much it is hurting you and that you really need your family to be part of your support group which means that they have to be completely on your side. As most people have been through a bad breakup at some point, they should understand your point of view and respect your wishes. If the family member won't comply, then you might have to cut contact with them for awhile too so that you can avoid any talk about your ex while you heal from the breakup. 1
Author InAFog Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 Thanks for your advice. I've really been trying to see it from my family member's point of view, like i know she hasn't been thru a bad breakup cuz she's married to her childhood sweatheart, nor does she know all the details of our breakup since it's kinda gross and not something i'm broadcasting to everyone, and he tells people that 'we just grew apart' which is total BS. But i've told her before how i felt about her being friendly with him and she knows how pissed others are at him. Ugh. I just want him out of my life!
Recommended Posts