ChckDlta Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 ...the empty bed, the empty car, the empty inbox. The comment-less Facebook, the solo lunches, the solo stargazing, the solo movies, and dinner, the quiet rides home. . . that's all doable. I can deal with it. (poorly, but I deal) Getting past the last event we had set together- this weekend- and getting through it alone? Can even deal with that. It came. It went. He spent it with someone else-- I ate ice cream. So be it. It's the looking ahead at nothing that's hurting. The knowing that nothing more is coming is the big slice of reality that is hard to swallow. The knowing that there is no plot twist where he comes back and is the right man. It may be silly to say that. But even though I didn't really believe it would ever happen, I always wished for it. Hoped for it. I think that's what it is. I can't stomach the missing hope. I'm not hoping now. SN: I had a dream about his mother, who died when he was a teen and who I never met, but she was always talked about like I knew her- if that makes sense. Anyway- in the dream she walked on the beach with me for a long time saying nothing. She stopped me when she saw him approaching, grabbed my face in both her hands and she looked just like him. She kissed my cheek and walked away leaving us alone. When I turned to look at him, the sun was too bright and I could not see his face. And I woke up. --SIGH--I mean jeez, can't a girl even sleep without being sad about him??
BustedUpInside Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 It's the looking ahead at nothing that's hurting. The knowing that nothing more is coming is the big slice of reality that is hard to swallow. The knowing that there is no plot twist where he comes back and is the right man. It may be silly to say that. But even though I didn't really believe it would ever happen, I always wished for it. Hoped for it. I know that life is not like a romantic comedy, but let's pretend for a second for the sake of illustrating a point Let's say that you and I were thinking about going to the movies. I win the coin toss and we are going to see the new romantic comedy with my two favorite stars. You ask what the plot is and I say that it is about a woman who seems to have it all, and then her boyfriend leaves her. She seems really depressed and can't quite seem to get over him.............The End. You wouldn't let me finish like that, because there is no resolution. There are only two ways that romantic comedies end. Either they get back together, or the protagonist finds someone new. Let's say that your ex is not the good guy in your romantic comedy. He is the dork that no one can believe that anyone would ever be in a relationship with. There is nothing wrong with him per se, but it is painfully obvious that he is not the right one for the leading lady (you!!) It is also painfully obvious that she will have to get over him before she can meet the handsome leading man, because that's how fate works. Ok, now back to reality. Whether or not you believe in fate, you have to realize that you still have things to look forward to. You may not be able to do things with the guy you think you want, but that doesn't mean that there won't be good times ahead. There are plenty of people out there who would love to do things with you and when your heart is ready you will go and meet some of them. I hope when you do meet someone new you will read this post and realize how far you have come 1
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I don't know the time-related details of your relationship, but really it does not matter- missing someone is missing someone, but I can tell you for sure that the dreams will stop. Dreams can be intriguing, and surely you can see what yours mean to you, but again- they will begin to fade out. They'll will become infrequent, and eventually just stop altogether. As far as "looking ahead at more nothing"? That's the really great thing about life: NO ONE knows what good things lay ahead! It gets better, really.
BigTuna Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Like has been said, turn that "nothing" on its head (that wasn't s'pose to rhyme, honestly) and view it as the exciting unknown... You never know something amazing may appear out of that nothingness. You'll pull through it, ChckDlta. I could have written what you wrote so i feel ya.
aisuru Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Boy do I feel you. The dreams are the worst. It's like you can't even have a reprieve. I wish I had answers for you. I don't. They say it gets better.
InAFog Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 It does get better, it truly does. It takes time, and introspecition. Get to know yourself again, your own life again. And for God's sake get them out of your life ASAP. No contact, no response. Everytime it will drag you back, that is certain. And everyday without it will get you closer to being back to you.
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