Won't I ever be done??

[BustedUpInside]

So my ex and I have been on very limited contact for the past couple of months. We have been broken up for about 5 months and living apart for about 4 months. Last week we ended all the remaining financial ties (so I thought) and I was finally happy because I thought I would finally get to institute No Contact and then I wouldn't have to be thinking about whether I needed to contact him or wait to see when he would finally get around to writing me back with important details about how to handle transactions.

 

Well, for the past 10 days or so I have been getting at least four to five phone calls per day from different businesses asking for my ex. I have been telling them that my number is to no longer be used, but it seems like they are just not getting the hint and keep calling asking for him. Finally, I sent him a text message where I asked him to please notify any and all of his accounts and change the primary contact number to his own so that I wouldn't have to receive any more calls.

 

My problem now is that I never received a response from the last text and it makes me so angry. I am not sure if I am angry because I don't like being ignored and I feel like this is at least somewhat important of an issue in my healing process. Or, am I angry because the lack of response makes me feel pathetic, as if it doesn't even deserve a response because I am "obviously" just trying to find any excuse to talk to him.

 

I know that these emotions are probably just my own imagination running away with me, but I would appreciate some cold reality or some patient sympathy. Whatever the audience feels is appropriate

[BrokenHeartedSavior]

Best case scenario: (hopefully) he listened to your request to contact his accounts to have the number changed and considers it "done"?

 

There is nothing "pathetic" about ANYTHING you're feeling.

 

I remember having to do the same things with my ex, it's lousy, but evntually all loose ends get tied up

 

I know it's unfair to repeatedly have to open a new can of worms, but sooner or later, they'll be absolutely nothing left to have to deal.

 

Stay strong, and just know there's an end in sight!

[BustedUpInside]

Thank you! I think the main reason that I visit this site so often is because I am so hard on myself in my own head. I am constantly telling myself to get stronger, be less pathetic, move on, stop crying, and for god's sake get it together because other people deserve way more sympathy because their problems are actually bad!

 

To hear from other people that what I am feeling is normal and especially that I am doing my recovery in a timely manner and not just stretching it out as an excuse to be lazy eases my stress a great deal. I already feel calmer just from writing this post.

[ConfusedT]

That's OK that you haven't received a response. You DIDNT contact him out of desperation, you needed to contact him at some level to stop the businesses from calling. Of course you are mad, people inherently HATE being ignored and depending on the situation (I cant exactly recall your situation), sometimes people love to ignore just because they KNOW they can get a rise out of the other person by doing so (hence MY ex.. -___-)

 

This is important in your healing because you are recognizing that it bothers you and you are still moving past it. Like I said, you are not pathetic, none of us are. We may act needy and desperate but it is only because we feel that we are in love, whether or not its true or not!

 

I personally don't think you've done a thing wrong, but he is giving you a loud a clear message...

 

SILENCE shows more than actions and words combined..

SILENCE is one of the hardest arguments to refute as well.

 

Be proud that you havent reached out and take note that he also didnt feel it was even necessary to respond. He SHOULD have out of basic politeness, but didnt...

I think you're doing great!!!

[mtnbiker3000]

OP - I was in the same boat as you and had to remain in LC for various reasons months after the BU. What I hate to say is that the day we finally went NC was, in fact, back to square one for me. I hope your case is different. I really do. But just be prepared for starting fresh. Well, I guess that is a good thing at least. Stay strong!!!