What does "all is fair in love and war" in a romantic relationship mean?

[buzzie2]

Does anyone know what the expression "all is fair in love and war" mean, when referring specifically to the beginning of a romantic relationship?

[BluEyeL]

It means that love is so overwhelmingly important in life that nobody can blame anybody for using any methods and acting in their own interest in order to get it.

[Mrlonelyone]

It means that love is so overwhelmingly important in life that nobody can blame anybody for using any methods and acting in their own interest in order to get it.

 

That saying came up at a time where there was no such idea as "laws" of war. There were often regional customs but no laws. Whatever actions resulted in victory were thus fair.

 

 

It was fair for the Golden Horde to ride in, burn, rape, pillage, poison the wells, and fling diseased animals over the city walls to win. It was fair for Opechancanough, Weroance of the Powhatan Indians, to wage an attempt at genocide in 1622 against the Jamestown colonist. It was fair for, some years latter, others to give Smallpox infected blankets to some indians to wrap their women and children in. It was fair for Sherman to march to the sea and burn all he found. It was fair for the USA to Nuke two Japanese cities.

 

 

If all of that deadly action is fair and just and right, then why not steal another mans wife? In fact it is far less injuriuous for he lives to find a better wife who won't be woo'ed.

 

 

Bottom line, war is hell where people die and it's fair. Taking someone elses lover ...while also dirty is also fair.

[Eternal Sunshine]

That's how other women justify sleeping with married men for example

[Million.to.1]

I think the subtext is that everything should be considered fair play within these 2 extreme worlds. They are complex and not really "fair" by nature. Kind of the same as the saying

"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you're a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge at you because you're a vegetarian.

 

 

....sometimes i use it as a response when I hear a story about a drama involving another couple. I don't want to judge someone who did something when i don't know the full picture. Any act performed by one in love or hurt by love cannot really be fairly judged from anyone outside of the relationship.

Just like an act of war may seem brutal if looked at from the outside as an isolated incident, but are often made in retaliation to an something else unknown. It's easy to be sympathetic, but difficult to know who's at fault.

 

my 2 cents.