emmalynro Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 So I guess I've "graduated" from the breakups forum to the second chances forum. tl;dr: we broke up after he had a nervous breakdown, went our own way, but have started talking again. The feelings are still strong on both sides. Here's the background, if you're interested. He's dealing with his own problems right now, and seems to think we couldn't even meet without getting back together and I tend to agree. The chemistry was explosive. Part of me doesn't want to give this guy another chance. He has some serious emotional issues due to some traumatic incidents in his adolescence, he's self-destructive and pushes people away, etc. But part of me is also impressed at how he's acknowledging his issues and admitting he needs to work on them. And there's the fact that after a few awful conversations in the beginning we're back to the same ridiculous, lightning-fast rapport we always shared. I am content to take things one day at a time. I'm curious to hear from people here, both those who reconciled and those who didn't, about what they went through. What were the big milestones for you? Were there warning signs you ignored? What's the most important thing you've learned?
crederer Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Well I tried to reconcile with a woman I was with for 4 years. i broke up with her because the relationship was messed up as hell and she cheated, along with many other things that were extremely difficult to deal with. A year after we broke up we hung out a few times and she was getting counciling and convinced me she's turned it around. Well, once we agreed to start seeing each other again, literally within about an hour of us agreeing to it, it was very apparent that nothing had changed. She flew off the handle and threw a bottle of caugh syrup at me for dating girls while we were broken up. She also went through my phone and questioned me about every female contact I had. So....long story short, if you want to try again it will become obvious whether or not things will be different or the same.
Leigh 87 Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Wow she threw syrup within an HOUR? :lmao: And you even considering another chance?
Author emmalynro Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 He showed up at work today (we used to work together) unannounced to demonstrate a system he ran over here. Seeing him was like a kick to the gut... good God! Was he always that handsome?! When he broke up with me, he told me that every time he passed me in the halls, even for an instant, he felt so much so strongly that it completely overcame him, that he couldn't work or concentrate or even think for at least an hour. At the time I thought he was being ridiculous, but now I think I understand what he meant! We're talking again, and on good terms, but when I suggested meeting he said I was pushing too hard and too fast. That sounds so stupid; can't we even see each other and interact with a modicum of self-control? Apparently not. In a split second I was overcome by a thousand thoughts and none of them were about talking.
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