Makeoneup Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I really don't know who else to turn to for advice or help anymore. I'm hoping for some answer. Here's the thing... I just turned 30 two months ago.* I have managed to save up enough money to buy a house with a single payment which is what I originally planned on for a long time. I have been looking around for about 6 months. I just... Feel like it is pointless. I have been in only two relationship since high school. Longest one lasted a year and half but I never lived with her. I have went on few dates (which is incredibly hard for me to get) but never really had any luck. I just feel like it is pointless for me to even try. So... I'm looking into just leave everything and go off to travel and have fun everyday with odd of dying in next 10 years or so being incredibly good.* While the idea of doing extreme sport in and exploring *all sort of exotic local is extremely exciting, it does scare and sadden me. Here's the deal... I'm deaf.* I have been part of many circles and made many friends. I do enjoy it very much.* But... I just feel like no matter what I'm just never good enough at anything. I feel like no one ever will get past my deafness. I feel like people just think I got lucky at everything, am weak, and list goes on. I have always thought that at this stage I would have bit more luck with dating or may even have someone. But I don't. So I can't stand the thought of living in a house by myself being lonely everyday even when I'm around people. Yet I know if I decide to go off and do my plan I would have so much fun everyday but I would eventually get killed and leave behind my family who would be deeply sadden. I just don't know what to do now. I just feel like I'm most least desirable person simply because I cannot hear despite of numerous positive traits.
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