ZaPaper Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 Hey, so I don't really have anyone to talk to, I'm gonna try to post here.... I'm 26, working in Seattle. The woman I'm talking about is 26 as well. So there is this girl I'm working with. I always found her attractive, but she's definitely out of my league (very pretty and sophisticated woman, everytime she goes out she has crapload of men around her buying her drinks and stuff),so I never been interested in here. She's very easy going and get along with everyone, and she's my boss, so we had a very friendly relationship, like college friends (she's a bit childish). So last week I was like "hey, we should go out some night, this would be good fun etc.". I was not trying to hit on her, like I said she's way above me, just wanted to have some good friendly time. So two days ago she call me to meet her in a bar at 9.30pm, she's with another of our coworker, male, same age. We grab a couple of drinks and chit chat all together. 2 hours later, this other dude drank way to much and start going to the bathroom, so we're just the two of us. None of us are drunk by the way, just to make it clear. So we go a bit into intimate stuff, she tells me about her, kind of private stuff (what happened to her before, etc). I tell her some personnal stuff as well. Then at one point she tells me she's a virgin (I was like "wtf ? kidding right ?") because she was with a dude earlier but never fancied him enough to actual have sex with. We get along really well, meanwhile our mate dying in the bathroom just took a cab to get home, so we're definitely just by ourselves now. She remove her jacket because, quoting "it feels a bit hot in here". At one point a dude come offer us a drink and tell her how pretty she is etc., so we spend a bit of time with that funny bloke and our free drinks. We keep talking till the pub close, then when we're on the street she grab me by the arm, and we do our best to cut loose this guy. We end up at 2am having a snack in a BK, she insist to pay for me. At one point she tells me "yeah I would date you". I didn't ask or anything, she just poped that out of the blue. At 3am we end up in a crappy club nearby (tuesday evening so not much to do) and another dude just comes asking her number. She gives him, then come at me and say "let's get out of here, i don't want to see him ever again, i fake numbered him !". At 4am we're on the street, arms around each other (cannot stress enough the fact that none of us were drunk), and we grab a cab, and go part ways. She then texted me 20min later to check if I went home okay, wrote "love you" in a friendly way obviously, and the morning after texted me again... We saw each other at work after that, she was more friendly and a bit more physical than the usual. Now, yesterday I asked her if she'd fancy having a breakfast before work the day after, too which she replied "yeah sounds good, i'll call u when i wake up". At the same time she posted on facebook "When you go on a night out with your male FRIENDS, they try it on with you, you decline and they just act like morron afterwards". She also didn't called me back for that breakfast. I'm not sure she's talking about me, because that other worker we were with tried really hard on her, she told me, and she declined him, but again it could be me.... So... It is seriously messing with my head. I mean in the first place I didn't even wanna try with her, but she acted like she was interested so I'm starting to have feelings for her. And I just don't get that bull**** message on FB. Always been a sucker to read women, would really appreciate if someone could enlight me up on that one...
Author ZaPaper Posted May 27, 2013 Author Posted May 27, 2013 And she just asked me out 5 mins ago on thursday... My brain is steaming, literally.
paigej91 Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 Much easier said than done, I know, but try to just go with it and not think about it. Treat her as a friend for now. Since she's your boss, you MUST tread slowly. Go out at least one or two more times as friends before offering to pay. That way you won't scare her off. If she's 26, as attractive as she is and still a virgin, my guess is she's developed a strong skepticism towards men's motives. Maybe she hasn't had a serious relationship yet either because men only approach her for sex, and the ones who would be willing to have a relationship with her (eg: you) beat themselves up over "being out of her league" so no one ever approaches her that way.
Author ZaPaper Posted May 27, 2013 Author Posted May 27, 2013 Thanks for your advice mate. Well she is my boss, but I don't consider this fact, I mean she's just a bit above me, even if I just go all marshmallow "i love you you're the one" etc it won't change anything business speaking (i don't go marshmallow anyway, just to explain that fact). She told that she's been with a dude for 3 years, but he was ****ing her best friend and treated her like crap, so she didn't want to have sex...
todreaminblue Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 Hey, so I don't really have anyone to talk to, I'm gonna try to post here.... I'm 26, working in Seattle. The woman I'm talking about is 26 as well. So there is this girl I'm working with. I always found her attractive, but she's definitely out of my league (very pretty and sophisticated woman, everytime she goes out she has crapload of men around her buying her drinks and stuff),so I never been interested in here. She's very easy going and get along with everyone, and she's my boss, so we had a very friendly relationship, like college friends (she's a bit childish). So last week I was like "hey, we should go out some night, this would be good fun etc.". I was not trying to hit on her, like I said she's way above me, just wanted to have some good friendly time. So two days ago she call me to meet her in a bar at 9.30pm, she's with another of our coworker, male, same age. We grab a couple of drinks and chit chat all together. 2 hours later, this other dude drank way to much and start going to the bathroom, so we're just the two of us. None of us are drunk by the way, just to make it clear. So we go a bit into intimate stuff, she tells me about her, kind of private stuff (what happened to her before, etc). I tell her some personnal stuff as well. Then at one point she tells me she's a virgin (I was like "wtf ? kidding right ?") because she was with a dude earlier but never fancied him enough to actual have sex with. We get along really well, meanwhile our mate dying in the bathroom just took a cab to get home, so we're definitely just by ourselves now. She remove her jacket because, quoting "it feels a bit hot in here". At one point a dude come offer us a drink and tell her how pretty she is etc., so we spend a bit of time with that funny bloke and our free drinks. We keep talking till the pub close, then when we're on the street she grab me by the arm, and we do our best to cut loose this guy. We end up at 2am having a snack in a BK, she insist to pay for me. At one point she tells me "yeah I would date you". I didn't ask or anything, she just poped that out of the blue. At 3am we end up in a crappy club nearby (tuesday evening so not much to do) and another dude just comes asking her number. She gives him, then come at me and say "let's get out of here, i don't want to see him ever again, i fake numbered him !". At 4am we're on the street, arms around each other (cannot stress enough the fact that none of us were drunk), and we grab a cab, and go part ways. She then texted me 20min later to check if I went home okay, wrote "love you" in a friendly way obviously, and the morning after texted me again... We saw each other at work after that, she was more friendly and a bit more physical than the usual. Now, yesterday I asked her if she'd fancy having a breakfast before work the day after, too which she replied "yeah sounds good, i'll call u when i wake up". At the same time she posted on facebook "When you go on a night out with your male FRIENDS, they try it on with you, you decline and they just act like morron afterwards". She also didn't called me back for that breakfast. I'm not sure she's talking about me, because that other worker we were with tried really hard on her, she told me, and she declined him, but again it could be me.... So... It is seriously messing with my head. I mean in the first place I didn't even wanna try with her, but she acted like she was interested so I'm starting to have feelings for her. And I just don't get that bull**** message on FB. Always been a sucker to read women, would really appreciate if someone could enlight me up on that one... confusion....for starters posting a message about how guys crack onto you and how they are morons isnt nice........even if it wasnt you...its degrading just because someone you dont have feelings for shows interest in you .....doesnt make them moronic........she sounds mean........not childish mean....playing games, attention seeking ones..........i would not pursue a relationship with thsi woman.....i dont think she was speaking about you honestly......but one day.....it could be you she is talking about on face book......she likes attention.....i hope you make the right decision for you........best wishes.......deb 1
apple OR orange Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 so it was just you and her all night and you think her facebook message wasnt aimed at you? yeah right, lets change some other facts to make it fit what you want as well. Dating a manager is a bad idea, dating a manager under 35 VERY bad idea, power goes to there head VERY quickly when things go wrong, your be out of work before you know it. However you can ignore all of this and do what you want, it is your life after all and stuff. 1
FitChick Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Start looking for another job. Tell her you don't feel comfortable "fishing off the company pier" so when you land a better job, thanks to a glowing recommendation from her, you would like to seriously date her. Say you don't want to besmirch her reputation at work. Act like you are protecting her. She seems like the type who, if she got tired of you, would start making your life at work a living hell. You'd never get a good recommendation. I get the feeling she feels safe with you because you are not aggressive like other men and she is in a controlling position at work. There is something a bit off about her dating a guy for three years while he was having sex with her girlfriend. Maybe she is a closeted lesbian and can't acknowledge it to herself.
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