Missunder Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 I had agreed to get into a fwb with a guy a month after breaking up with my ex. He said he wasnt looking for a relationship and i wasnt either i just hadnt had sex in months and he was really attractive. I was the one who originally approached him about him liking me. Over the past few months that this has gone on we've learned alot more about each other and i've fallen for him, him not so much for me. I got upset one night because i always felt like i was the one wanting sex, wanting to hang out with him and feeling pretty used. I had texted him and not got a response for just about a day and told him to just not talk to me anymore and i didnt want to see him. I honestly didnt think he cared at all. I apologized a few days later and he told me that he was starting to feel like he loved me before me exploding on him and now he's back to square one. I told him i would be patient and wait for him but sometimes i think he knows enough about me to decide if he loves me or not. I feel like he holds on to me for sex even though he never asks for it and im always the one pushing it so i can feel close to him in some way. I still live with my ex because neither of us can afford living separate and we have a child together. I have absolutely no family support, my parents are off and on hardcore drug users. I asked my fwb if he wanted to be my roommate and he said he would like to know me for another year and then decide. Im starting to breakdown in front of him and i feel bad because i dont like to cry in front of people and i dont know what to say to him, he comforts me and tries to help but i feel so used and alone. Any time we hang out its me asking, offering, conversations are almost always started by me. I feel like i should know he'll never love me even though he says he might. I always feel like a burden to him. I cant meet his friends or family, though ive already talked to his brother but he has no clue. He wants to keep me a secret because his family is all gossiping overprotective women. How should i explain my emotions to him, should i just leave him and move on even though i said i would wait, has anyone ended up loving someone after so long?
xpaperxcutx Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 Yes, you should leave him because there's no way he has any feelings for you except using you for sexual purposes only. You are the only person going back to him over and over again. He doesn't have the need to seek you out. You are emotional and desperate and any man in his position would use you. Stop asking questions. Stop making excuses. If you are a mother, I suggest you take a more parental stance in raising your child than worrying about whether some lowlife wants you or not. People learn to value when you understand your own self-worth and value yourself. 1
Author Missunder Posted May 27, 2013 Author Posted May 27, 2013 (edited) forgot to add in my ex is still attached to me and approached him one night at work and had a discussion with him. He told my ex that i may be miss right but im not miss right now. When i do get him to hang out with me he'll spend hours with me just sitting around and talking, joking, walking around, holding hands(simple stuff). His mother is handicap and he has to do alot of shopping/doctor visits for her and other family who cant drive. His father left when he was young. He has a big heart, so i really dont see him as a player. He had a girlfriend a few years back that was a 5 year relationship and she left him he said he was heartbroken for a long time and wasnt sure if he could feel love anymore. I dont see him as a lowlife just someone who is broke and i care deeply for him but im not sure if he will ever love me :/ When i was trying to work things out with my ex we went to a psychologist and she said that when i feel like someone will hurt me i push them away/end relationships, its hard to decide about kicking someone out of your life because you think they might hurt you or waiting it out. With my ex i went through 5 years of hurtful comments and constant regret, but there wasnt a day he wouldnt add in how much he loved me. He has taken my daughter out with me too the park a couple of times and hung out at my place with her and seems really great with her. One time he let her fake tickle him and he laughed for about 10 minutes while she went on and on. We've talked about him as a father figure and he's said he's always borrowed(babysat), its different to own 24/7. Recently i agreed with my ex that i wouldnt have him spending time growing attached to my daughter until he's sure about me. Edited May 27, 2013 by Missunder
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