Author smoky eyes Posted July 31, 2013 Author Posted July 31, 2013 Hey everyone, I really appreciated the discussion that got going so thought I'd post a little follow-up (Okay, it's only been two months, but I'm no longer posting on forums from stress, so that's progress). I've given up on thoughts of returning to/marrying my ex. I suppose I only considered it from a position of panic about what I might lose. I fully agree now not only with those who said I'd be cheating myself, but also those who thought I'd be cheating him ("stealing his life" someone said--you were right). I'm not too sure what he's up to now, but I'm hope he finds someone who can really love him. With regards to money and poor-as-a-pauper-but-so-perfect-otherwise guy number two, I've simultaneously expressed my concerns and chilled out about it. I've discovered that life with less money but more compatibility is infinitely preferable to the opposite (I know this shouldn't be a Eureka moment, but I guess I got a bit corrupted by what I had/could have had). I've told Guy#2 by concerns with money when it comes to our potential someday children, and we're on the same page--we need more of it before we can think about having them. Anyway, it's much too soon for happily ever after, but thank you all so much for weighing in, sometimes you really just need people to state the obvious to you! 4
orionboxing Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Question: How many people who make more than $100K per year are in miserable, sexless marriages that end in costly divorces that ruin their and their children's lives? Answer: Millions....and several people on this board who are high earners are in the middle of nasty relationships. I pulled 80K last year in a rural area...so what...I'm divorced. Oh boy, that screaming match we had last night over supper was terrible, but boy, this BMW really rides well doesn't it!!!!
MissBee Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Do yourself a HUGE favor and don't marry either of them. Seriously - you are talking yourself into "settling" for one or the other and you will always be left questioning your decision and suffering from GIGS. It is possible to have the whole package and it is obvious you just have never experienced it yet. Hold out -- it WILL happen, but only if you are patient and believe it IS possible. And NOT settle... My thoughts exactly. If both of them are missing something fundamental...don't marry either of them. It is possible to find both love and financial stability in one man, and if these two aren't it....no need to force yourself to marry either of them. 1
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