Author SmokeRat Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 So the meeting is over and done with. All the forms are signed, there isn't anything else to go over. When we were signing I was stone faced, didn't even look at her and made the signatures quickly and without hesitation. Took me about 45 seconds total. Then I walked out of the room. But I stopped. This woman is still my wife, until those papers file through entirely. I stopped, and walked back into the room, stood behind her and told her I was sorry for everything. And then the waterworks, from both of us started. Ended up being a 30 minute cry fest on both our parts. I'll admit, she looks amazing, is healthier than I've ever seen her. Skin condition is gone, her foot is healing to the point where she can wear heels again. It was emotional, and it was horrible. I couldn't just go in there and sign, walk out and leave on that kind of note. Should I have, probably. But I couldn't do it. I still love this woman, or I love the memory of what I thought we had (that may be more accurate). I think for the first time in this entire **** storm, she realized what was happening and could see how destroyed I was. I am happy I'll never have to go through that again, but on the other hand I'm sad that that was how it all ended. I'll never see her, or hear from here again. It feels like such a profound loss.
worldgonewrong Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 From the ashes of this debacle will grow new life/flowers/happiness, although I understand your sadness.
wifehurtheart Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 (edited) It's unfortunate but absolutely true --- once betrayal takes place nothing will ever be the same again, whether you to try to R or decide to divorce. It is a painful, devastating thing to endure, and as much as most of us (especially the BS's) wish that this horrible pain had not been inflicted on us by the one person in the world we thought we could trust infinitely, it has been inflicted on us, and wishing for everything to just "go back to the way it was" neither helps a reconciliation or a divorce. Things are drastically changed forever. I'm sorry you are going through the pain you're going through. It hurts like hell. She seems to be taking care of herself and growing healthier.....you need to try to do the same. Edited June 6, 2013 by wifehurtheart
whichwayisup Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 She knows what she lost in you. Don't look back, and do keep NC. Keep busy and focus on work, your friends and take time before you start dating.
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