How the brain reacts to a break up

[cinta_satu]

For my fellow geeks on LS that are interested in the science of a break up, check out this article from Scientific American.

 

You're in the midst of a breakup and feel like a different person. You find yourself spending a lot of time longing for your ex, constantly checking her Facebook updates, and wondering what went wrong. This shift in patterns of thought and behavior may be caused by neural changes that occur after a breakup.

 

Neuroimaging studies have found that being rejected, even by a stranger, activates many of the same regions in the brain as when experiencing physical pain. In one study, biological anthropologist Helen Fisher of Rutgers University recruited brave participants who held still in a functional MRI scanner while they looked at pictures of the person who had recently dumped them. These participants exhibited increased brain activity in several regions associated with reward, motivation, addiction and obsessive-compulsive disorder, which helps to explain why you might struggle to let go after a romantic relationship ends.

 

Grief can also be a part of the breakup process. In another brain-scanning study, researchers asked women who had gone through a recent breakup to think about their ex in an fMRI machine. They found patterns of brain activity consistent with feelings of sadness, rumination and chronic depression.

 

For some people, heartache can continue months after a split. A team of German investigators, studying a small group of people who were still hung up on an ex up to six months after the relationship had ended, also found brain patterns consistent with depression, such as decreased activity in the insula and the anterior and posterior cingulate cortices.

 

Although such studies show that heartbreak is associated with obsession and grief, the findings are limited. Our understanding primarily comes from research in which participants are asked to actively think about their ex, something people probably don't do all the time. Additionally, studies tend to be about the heartbroken, rather than the heartbreakers, and focus only on the period of misery postsplit. Luckily for many people, the heartache from a lost relationship fades over time, and life goes back to normal. For some, the rupture might even become a positive experience, allowing a person to get away from a dysfunctional relationship and fall in love again.

 

Taken from How does the brain react to a romantic breakup?: Scientific American

[CelticGibson]

Break ups are really a chemical withdrawal. When you are in the relationship your brain is flooded with the feel good dopamine. Once a break up occurs, this flooding stops and you go into craving mode. It's a natural reaction to feel the need to pursue your addiction and to feel bad when you cannot have it. Love is an addiction for sure...

[cinta_satu]

It'd be very interesting to see the chemical process that a 'dumpers' brain goes through. For the dumpee it's a sudden withdrawal of those chemicals, which sends us into shock. It's like going from fully loaded with the 'feel good' chemical to nothing overnight.

 

I wonder how the dumpers brain reacts. Do they start losing the 'feel good' chemical gradually months in advance, which makes it easier for them to move on.

 

Or does their brain suppress the feeling of loss and guilt with reason and assurance that they 'did the right thing'.

 

I'm sure every situation is different, but it'd be fascinating if we could understand it from a scientific POV.

 

That being said human nature is extremely intricate, diverse, and complex. I doubt the 'science of love' will ever be 100% accurate.

[CelticGibson]

I get the impression that their brains were losing the dopamine over a longer period of time until such time as they didn't feel the "feel good" factor anymore, hence their willingness to leave the relationship.

[cinta_satu]

I get the impression that their brains were losing the dopamine over a longer period of time until such time as they didn't feel the "feel good" factor anymore, hence their willingness to leave the relationship.

 

You're probably right about that. I think this is around when the 'honeymoon stage' comes to an end. And it's probably true with every relationship - doesn't matter if he/she is the one or not.

 

It is at this point that mature couples realize that once the honeymoon stage is over you have to 'decide' to remain in love and work on it together forever.

 

If you're constantly looking for the 'swept off my feet' feeling, then you're going to end up jumping from relationship to relationship.

[CelticGibson]

You can blame society for that. People think that the honeymoon period IS love. It's not. It's infatuation that is supposed to help spur the building blocks for real love that comes after.

 

Of course when people are surrounded by movies and books telling them that the "in love" feelings are real love, then they get disappointed when eventually these intense infatuation feelings fade as they always do so they leave a perfectly good relationship in search of "true love" as it's portrayed in popular culture. It's sad really and an indictment of just how fickle people can be...