leoc1973 Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 Hey everyone. I was on this site a long time ago. Well 2 years ago I started coming on after being dumped. I took it very badly. Drowned my sorrows in painkillers and really did a lot of damage to my life. Lost my job, borrowed money from everyone I could think of, family hates me, and I lost touch with all my friends. Anyways about a year and a half after my breakup it hit me one day.I did not want her back. I didnt' want anything to do with her at all. The thought of her kinda turned me off. Nowadays I have a lot going for me agian. I am going to the gym every day, working again, taking classes and have been dating again. I had fallen so far. When I was with my ex. most of my extended family referred to me as the "golden boy" the guy with a great job and a beautiful girlfriend who was good looking and I was in extremely good shape. I went from being a guy that could get any girl I wanted and oozing with confidence and I knew it. I didn't want anyone else tho I was madly in love with my ex. But after my breakup I turned into a fat unemployed pill popping slob. Before my breakup I would hear guys complain about getting dumped and I though, "who cares dude get over it and go find some other chicks" But it hit me hard. Harder than I ever knew it could. After my breakup my day consisted of sleeping till 3. Waking up and trying to find some money for drugs till I got some then I would sit here in front of the computer popping pills and washing them down with cheap beer or a bottle of cheap vodka. Smoking a pack of cigarettes and reading everyone possible's posts on LS till my eyes were so tired I couldn't keep them open and passed out. Repeat next day. Every month or so my ex would contact me to "catch up" which in translation means see if I found another woman. She would cry and question her decision and tell me how I was the love of her life. I would as for another chance and she would immediately stop crying and then say she had to go. It turned all the pain back to day 1 and I knew I wouldn't see her again for about a month. Usually a month to the day. See I found out later she knew I was reading all these sites and she knew i was following the 30 day NC rule so soon as the month passed she started to feel me slipping away. Thats why she would contact me. My sister in law told her what I was doing. So be careful who you tell your business cause I couldn't even trust my own family. I am not sure the reason for this post. I guess kinda half because I want everyone to know that it does get better. And half to let you know that she had literally every sign of gigs and she did not end up coming back so as much as I used to look for posts by people and praying I could find some kind of hope that she would be back one day and to be honest it helped me get through it. There is a chance that she won't. So don't screw your entire life up for another person. Why? because she will not see you and pity you and then come running back. She is gonna shake her head and feel bad for a minute and then go back to her new life. Thinking of you very little. If you want her back do the exact opposite of what I did. Because funny thing is the only way she will want you back is if you are a better person than when she dumped you. another little thing. I was completely over her about 6 months ago. The last few days I have been missing her quite a bit. I am pretty certain its because this weekend marks the 2 year anniversary of her leaving me. Plus there have been a lot of reminders of her lately. I have my whole life pretty much rebuilt and it was hell. But at the same time I am feeling pretty sad about her. Anyone else go thru this? just wondering what it is? LOL how long does this little hiccup last? 6
Leigh 87 Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 Wow. That was a heavy read. You sound like you were in a dark place! First of all, congratulations on getting sexy again! hahaha I have lost weight too since the break up am looking better than ever. More importantly though, I admire you for getting your whole life back on track too! It takes strength to break addictions. You broke a few: drinking, pill popping, contact with your ex... You have also helped me prepare. My ex also says I am a huge love for him, and the fist girl he has ever been in love with. I tried to make it very clear to him to NEVER contact me again (unless he wants me back) Listening to you though, I think there is a chance he could throw me bread crumbs too! It is completely messed up to tell a person you love them, only to... disappear when you suggest " lets get back together then" In a way I like the fact my ex did not leave me for someone else' that he di not tell me he stopped loving me. On the other hand though, the we left on good terms with him acting like he still loved me and missed me terribly - only leads to bread crumbs. In a way, it is easier to move on initially if they DID leave you for another person; or if they DID fall out of love. Again though, some jerks you read about on here come back to people who they left (for someone else) once the new person does not work out, or if they are lonely and bored:sick: In any case, people can be cruel! I wish the exes would just let us be ands never contact us again unless they DO want us back:mad: I am glad I am planning to stick to NC sooner rather than months later, though. I can see where I will end up if I remain in contact; thousands of stories like yours on here makes me realise how HARD I will fall if I ever talk to this man again. 1
Leigh 87 Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 ooooops wrong thread .......................................................................
BustedUpInside Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Wow, way to make a comeback! You should be really proud of your progress. So you're having a little "hiccup" on the anniversary of something painful? That sounds pretty normal. I would just tell yourself that, while it is ok to be a little sad, that you definitely don't want to backtrack at all. Remind yourself about all the times that she played with your heart. All the times that, knowing how sad you were and how desperately you needed help, would string you along just enough to keep you on the hook and then let you just sit there. You have a lot going for you and I would hate to think that thinking about your pig of an ex would negatively impact you in any way. Congratulations on all your success!! 1
Author leoc1973 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 Yeah its a little hiccup. The thing is I had broken up with a girl I was with for 6 years. She was the one before my ex that i am speaking of now. I loved her dearly and she was devistated but she was never going to change. She begged and pleaded and told me she was gonna die ect. I probably felt worse then than when I was dumped myself. As much as I would have liked to made sure she was waiting in case I changed my mind i never once ever threw her breadcrumbs. Its a horrible thing to do to someone to keep them hanging like that. Thing is people know when they are doing it to you so why hurt someone like that? Its just so selfish. And this isnt' even a complete stranger this is someone you deeply cared about.
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