Going on a tennis first date, a good idea?

[dreamersteve]

Hello, everybody. I have a first date dilemma, so can you help me out?

 

I met a girl that I really like, talked to her a little, and realized that she likes to play tennis, like me. I realized that because when tennis came up as a conversation topic, she was very excited. So, I asked her if she would come on a tennis date with me.

 

So, what I think I would like to do now, is to go out with her in the morning towards the afternoon, play tennis for an hour, then immediately after go on a small picnic in a beautiful botanical garden, that is really close to the tennis court. Do you think this sounds like a good plan?

 

Also, a problem is that we are both students, and the exams start next week, right about when I planned to call her. Is it too late if I wait one more week to call her after exams?

[kassy]

Sounds like a great date idea.

 

Why don't you call her have a chat explain you'd like to take her out this week but think it might be more fun after exams, and just see what she says. At least then she knows you want to go out on a date with her still.

 

Or go for a quick coffee date this week to touch base and go out after exams for the tennis date...

[dreamersteve]

Thank you, Kassy!

 

Going for a quick coffee date sounds nice.

[kassy]

Good luck!

 

Don't forget to do the tennis date after! Sounds like a really fun and low key date :-)

[BluEyeL]

Actually the date you described is one of my fantasies. So it's an awesome idea! Good luck!

[ComingInHot]

I Love the idea of a date doing something you Both enjoy! The picnic after sounds perfect as well.

Here is my two cents about the timing;*

You asked her IF she'd like to have an actual date.

You didn't "Set" a date.

Taking into consideration that you have exams, as well as she may a also, it could be good to wait for the date itself.

HOWEVER, if you don calk her to schedule the date either before or after exams, she may do what many women do... second guess and question if you meant your invitation, then worry, then internalize then become a wreck before you even get to the courts

 

I suggest that you call her and explain your consideration of her exams as all as yours then Set The Date Up.**

 

She will know you are sincere, focus on her exams AND have something to look forward to!!

 

My best to you. You sound like a true gentleman who truly wants to impress*

[dreamersteve]

Thank you all very much! I am a lot more confident about this plan now.

 

Your suggestion is very good, ComingInHot, and I will call her soon to talk about the exams and the date.

 

And thanks for the compliment (it made me blush ).

[Star Gazer]

The romantic picnic sounds like too much for a first date. That would make me really uncomfortable. I'd suggest a cute little cafe for brunch instead.

[Estate]

Hello, everybody. I have a first date dilemma, so can you help me out?

 

I met a girl that I really like, talked to her a little, and realized that she likes to play tennis, like me. I realized that because when tennis came up as a conversation topic, she was very excited. So, I asked her if she would come on a tennis date with me.

 

So, what I think I would like to do now, is to go out with her in the morning towards the afternoon, play tennis for an hour, then immediately after go on a small picnic in a beautiful botanical garden, that is really close to the tennis court. Do you think this sounds like a good plan?

 

Also, a problem is that we are both students, and the exams start next week, right about when I planned to call her. Is it too late if I wait one more week to call her after exams?

 

Its not really a date. You can't talk, you can't be close to her.

She won't feel or look good being all hot and sweaty playing sports.

 

It's not a good idea. I know conventional advice says it's a "nice" date but it's more of an activity once you are dating, not a good first date.

[KathyM]

I would suggest not waiting before calling her. Too much time elapsed from first suggestion to actual call takes away from the anticipation. Gotta strike while the iron is hot. Call her today and set up a tennis date for a couple of days later, then take her to a casual place afterwards for something to drink and to talk. It wouldn't have to take more than three hours total. Doesn't have to be an all-day thing. And there will be plenty of time to study before and after. Leave the leisurely picnic for after exams.

[Estate]

Good luck!

 

Don't forget to do the tennis date after! Sounds like a really fun and low key date :-)

 

I don't agree. I think you guys are setting this guy up for failure.

How does he approach it so she knows its a date?

How does he talk to her and cponnect with her across a tennis court?

How does he make her feel pretty and special if she's wearing trackies and is all sweaty, then has to sit over a picnic.

How does "low key" attract girl? It doesn't.

How does the picnic work after? It's very forced, tennis doesn't naturally lead into a picnic.

 

I strongly advise against it, do it with her once she is closer to the GF zone, then it will be a fun day, not a first date.

 

I think the girls here are giving you the prince charming schpeil man.

[GravityMan]

I dunno. The OP's suggestion, while cool at first thought (it definitely sounds better than "dinner & a movie"), might be a bit over-the-top for a first date with this girl that he just met. It's nice that he's put some thought into this, but it may be better to keep it simple early on.

 

The tennis and picnic idea is better as a first date if the two people already knew each other for awhile before they started dating. Otherwise it's better to save it for a later date or even after they've reached the BF/GF phase.

[smmille1122]

Skip tennis, I play and it's very hard to keep it fun if your skill levels are not equal. Like someone else mentioned, I met a girl for tennis and it's difficult to have conversation without constantly stopping. This date idea is better for third or forth date. However, you could go bowling. Allows for conversation and some finger foods/snacks, and drinks. It's also easy to play down your skill if you are good too. Just roll a few gutter balls.

[FitChick]

It sounds good (I like activity dates) but the only problem might be if one of you is a much better player. But then the better player could give the other person tips on improving their game.

 

Picnic is good because it's casual but I don't know that I'd make it romantic (how would you do that exactly?). You don't know her. You may decide you only like her as a future tennis partner.

[Cutiepie1976]

First, you have to set up the date! That should have been priority one. As soon as you confirm interest, that's when you suggest the date. Otherwise, you will lose out on women who assume you aren't that interested, and pick someone else who is more decisive. Keeping the momentum going is more important than getting the date and timing perfect. Prompt followup is better than an attempt to schedule a perfect date weeks after initial encounter when her enthusiasm and excitement have waned and she barely remembers why she was ever interested. That's how you sometimes end up with blow offs, unanswered messages, going around in circles, limbo etc.

 

Second, as an avid tennis player, I agree with Estate 100%.

Its not really a date. You can't talk, you can't be close to her.

She won't feel or look good being all hot and sweaty playing sports.

 

It's not a good idea. I know conventional advice says it's a "nice" date but it's more of an activity once you are dating, not a good first date.

 

In many ways it's even worse than going to the movies, not just because of the inability to have a thoughtful conversation, but also because of the weird dynamic you create when you opt to compete with your date, someone you barely know.

 

Your goal for a first date is to begin to build a connection, get close, flirt a little, get her intrigued enough to want learn more...in other words, get to a second date...if that's what you want at the end of your first date. Instead you're at opposite ends of a large court competing...or in some weird limbo trying not to compete, but guys eventually turn it into a competition. I have yet to have a guy not turn a tennis date into a competition, even when I suggest we just hit and practice rather than play an actual game. Then it becomes an ego thing for him...places him in an unflattering light and makes me uncomfortable...in case getting sweaty and not feeling very feminine weren't bad enough on our first outing. Are you evenly matched? Tennis is no fun if there is a disparity in skill level...it's very frustrating for the more skilled person, and is the reason people refuse to play less skilled players. IMO, it's a good option, once you've already established a strong romantic connection and are clearly headed towards being a couple...but not before that. I speak from experience.

 

Bowling has many of the same issues. One of you is always up while the other is seated. You have an assigned time slot to get through your game, so you can't sit around chit chatting during the game. Not to mention ruining her nails if she got a manicure for the date. Bowling is great when you go with a bunch of people. Not so much as a one-on-one activity.

 

Now the picnic idea sounds absolutely lovely! I would be over the moon for that as a first date. It's thoughtful. It requires effort. You get time to talk and connect. Even in a public park, it can feel very private and special. You can go for a walk if the mood strikes you, just sit and chat, people watch, etc. All around fun, romantic, and different from the usual run-of-the-mill date options yet great opportunities to get to know each other and build a connection. That gets my vote.

[Blue Toast]

I would suggest not waiting before calling her. Too much time elapsed from first suggestion to actual call takes away from the anticipation. Gotta strike while the iron is hot.

Heard this before. If you don't move at lightning speed anything guy will swoop her up. Modern dating.

[FitChick]

Ask her which she prefers, picnic first to chat, or tennis first, citing the disadvantages of tennis (competition, getting sweaty, no time to chat, different skill levels). You could use this as an opportunity to set up a second date at the same time: "Maybe we could play tennis next week." You know she wants to play, but if she considers these other things, she might change her mind. If it's her decision and she doesn't like the outcome, at least she won't blame you!

 

Definitely call sooner rather than later.

[Shepp]

I think it sounds great. Maybe not every girls cup of tea but it is hers so you all good!

I'm not a big fanof 'indoor' first dates full stop, I think you need to be outside where you can relax, and see the real person not the scrubbed up and on best behaviour version! (maybe that's my clastrophobic coming out but I think you can't really get to know someone in a super busy restaurant on a saturday night)

[apple OR orange]

if you want a tennis ball in your mouth

[dreamersteve]

Thank you all! Great advice!

 

I think I will do as FitChick suggests, call and ask which activity she prefers first (mentioning advantages and disadvantages), or even if she wants both, like the original plan.

 

Bowling sounds good too, but I am not good at it, and I have no idea if she would like it. At least tennis I know she likes.

Edited May 28, 2013 by dreamersteve

[Star Gazer]

Ask her which she prefers, picnic first to chat, or tennis first, citing the disadvantages of tennis (competition, getting sweaty, no time to chat, different skill levels).

 

What??? Why on earth would you cite the disadvantages of a date suggestion?

 

"Would you like to play tennis with me? Thing is, it's competitive, and I don't want to make you feel bad when I beat you, or get butt hurt if you beat me, and then there's the sweat. I kinda stink when I sweat, and you'll probably be worried about your face melting off. And besides the occasional grunting or 'nice shot' there won't be much time to talk, and then of course there's our differing skill levels, one of us is going to be hitting shots and the other is just gonna be running back and forth..."

 

Huh? No. No, no, no, no. Do NOT do this.

 

Ask her if she'd like to play tennis. If she has 1/10th of a brain, she'll be able to figure out the above on her own.

 

I mean, do you ask someone to dinner, and then say:

 

"Well, of course, it is an Italian restaurant, so you're going to have to worry about slopping spaghetti sauce on yourself, or getting a piece of parsley in your teeth. And then of course there's the issue of potentially inflaming my IBS..."

 

Jeez.

[daisybuchanan55]

BAHHAHAHAHAHA Star Gazer I just lolled. SOOO FUNNY. Totally agree with you 100%. Any physical, sweaty activity for a first date is my idea of HELL!

[dreamersteve]

You are right, Star Gazer .

 

I guess I will just mention the two options, without explaining all the unpleasant details, and let her choose.

[daisybuchanan55]

In dreamersteve's defense though, it's been my experience that most guys are totally clueless about how horrified a girl would be to get sweaty in front of them. Most guys are so dumb, like, "What's the problem?!"

 

Girls should know that while THEY may be uncomfortable getting physical/sweaty in front of a guy they don't know well, 9/10 guys think an athletic girl in gym clothes is totally adorable and won't even notice sweat...unless she's got major pit stains or something.

[smmille1122]

Dude, man up and suggest a date and time. Don't ask her opinion. That is being weak and indecisive. Be a leader and take charge of the date. Also, I still wouldn't do tennis. If the weather ends up being bad your date is ruined. Make it indoor like bowling, shooting pool, or indoor rock climbing. Something indoor unless you are 100% the weather is going to be good. Plus, you shouldn't care if you are good st something or not. Are you really going to win. The best part about both of you sucking at something is that you can laugh about it.