Sarahhh Posted October 3, 2004 Posted October 3, 2004 hey guys i'll just get straight to the point my bf and i have been together for 10 months now, known each other for a little over a year. *anyway* 95% of the time, we don't argue, and are pretty much best friends. i'm 20 and he's 23, i'm not a big drinker, and i wouldn't call him a *big* drinker, but....he likes to drink w/his buddies every other wknd or so, which is fine by me. so one night, *thee* night....that "drunk" became "wasted" and "wasted" became "a**h***" (excuse my language). he got com*pletely* lit one night, and started telling me to f*off and "i don't f*n need you", etc. the next day wasn't too fun. i'm sure you can all imagine why. i understood that, you know, he was drunk, people don't understand what they're saying, i've been drunk before, so...i was trying to be understanding and whatnot. so after a heart warming apology, things fell back into place pretty easily. so after experiencing his "evil side" first hand....i became paranoid when we'd go out drinking again. so about 2 or 3 months went by....aaand the whoooole thing happened all over, AGAIN. so after the 2nd time, i told him that althought i knew he was a good person inside, i couldn't bare to see him so mean again. so after all of his sincere apologies, things went back to normal, again. so now, 5/6 months later, we're doing great. yeah...well...except for the fact that i'm Queen Paranoia. eeevery time he goes out to drink with his friends, or every time we go out and he has a couple beers, i'm getting paranoid and worried. it's to the point now where i can't even enjoy myself when we go out. pathetic. i've had trust issues w/past relaitonships, but who hasn't at one point? my bf i'm w/now has *never* once cheated on me, or even *looked* at another girl, 110% failthful, but this drinking issue...WHY CAN'T I JUST LET IT GOOO. so...any medicine for paranoia?
Merin Posted October 3, 2004 Posted October 3, 2004 Originally posted by Sarahhh hey guys i'll just get straight to the point my bf and i have been together for 10 months now, known each other for a little over a year. *anyway* 95% of the time, we don't argue, and are pretty much best friends. i'm 20 and he's 23, i'm not a big drinker, and i wouldn't call him a *big* drinker, but....he likes to drink w/his buddies every other wknd or so, which is fine by me. so one night, *thee* night....that "drunk" became "wasted" and "wasted" became "a**h***" (excuse my language). he got com*pletely* lit one night, and started telling me to f*off and "i don't f*n need you", etc. the next day wasn't too fun. i'm sure you can all imagine why. i understood that, you know, he was drunk, people don't understand what they're saying, i've been drunk before, so...i was trying to be understanding and whatnot. so after a heart warming apology, things fell back into place pretty easily. so after experiencing his "evil side" first hand....i became paranoid when we'd go out drinking again. so about 2 or 3 months went by....aaand the whoooole thing happened all over, AGAIN. so after the 2nd time, i told him that althought i knew he was a good person inside, i couldn't bare to see him so mean again. so after all of his sincere apologies, things went back to normal, again. so now, 5/6 months later, we're doing great. yeah...well...except for the fact that i'm Queen Paranoia. eeevery time he goes out to drink with his friends, or every time we go out and he has a couple beers, i'm getting paranoid and worried. it's to the point now where i can't even enjoy myself when we go out. pathetic. i've had trust issues w/past relaitonships, but who hasn't at one point? my bf i'm w/now has *never* once cheated on me, or even *looked* at another girl, 110% failthful, but this drinking issue...WHY CAN'T I JUST LET IT GOOO. so...any medicine for paranoia? Well from what you've described it doesn't sound like your Bf is an alcoholic, but when he does tie one on, he isn't a real nice guy. There is a saying that goes "Instant a**hole, just add alcohol" and for so many people, this is true. I think we've all known or been around someone that may not drink all of the time, but when they do... stand the he** by! Some people get all weepy and bawl over every sucky thing that ever happened in thier life when they are drinking, some people get all "I Love you man" when they are drinking... and some people (like your bf) become, well an a**hole.. argumentative, combative. This doesn't make it okay, or right... and of course him saying those things to you was and is wrong. You've talked to him regarding this after the second time it occured... I'm going to assume that your boyfriend told you it wouldn't happen again, and for almost half a year it hasn't. So I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt that he is and was sincere.. relax... and if or when there comes an occassion when you're out with him and you see him starting to drink to the point that you're feeling uncomfortable, talk to him about it BEFORE he gets smashed and it's to late to reason. Good Luck
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