aisuru Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 I'm in a generally good place lately. Which is funny since I read the ex's social media less and less these days. This morning, I found this gem of a quote from him: "To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." Well hell... spiral incoming... is he thinking of his life in general, the two of us, or (horrors) does he have a new relationship that he's in. I don't believe he's in a new relationship based on what I know of his history and what he told me recently, but who knows. So yeah.... I'll just allow myself to dwell on that one. In addition to a few other quotes he has up right now... Makes me wonder if he's missing me. Likely not. But I'm wondering. And slightly hoping. MEH. Or he's just wishing for a better relationship because he thinks ours was ****. This is why you don't read social media. Cause now of course, I want to write that awesome email or text that will make him respond. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Yeah, not happening. 1
Author aisuru Posted May 27, 2013 Author Posted May 27, 2013 Yup. I'm missing him. I know I can't text him. I wonder if he is thinking of me. In the end, none of it matters. I just have to grant him with space. . Because that is what he asked for. *sigh* 2
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 Yeah, It's one of those nights. I know the feeling. Just keep resisting the temptation. 1
bitterruin Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 I'm with you. I miss him like crazy and I can't sleep. Just stay away from him and no Internet stalking, we'll feel better in the morning. 1
eleve82 Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 Can I make a suggestion? Just delete him as a friend. It takes only two seconds and trust me, when you do it, you will be much happier for it, instead of interpreting every comment or smiley picture as a reflection of his feelings towards you. 2
Giha Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 Oh aisuru, you know better than to do that... I often find myself wondering if she thinks about me. I suppose I do pop in her mind for a few moments occasionally but nowhere near the amount she's on my mind...it is mind boggling to me how a person gets up one day and just throws everything out of the window never to look back but whatever. Dwelling on it won't change the fact the she's gone so might as well get on with it. I hope your day gets better, and please avoid social media...it's a snake pit 1
crederer Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 I'm sure they do miss us. My ex recently texted me after about 4 or 5 weeks of no contact, and 7 weeks of no contact prior (so we talked once out of about 12 weeks of the break up). She said she misses me and was sorry to text cause she knows it's hard on me to hear from her but she couldn't help herself. So I'm your ex's are feeling the same but are just stronger willed than my ex. 1
Mrs_iwish Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 Even when im not in NC with 'him' I snoop. It causes more problems than anything. I see day trips with his gf and constantly compare myself . STAY AWAY 1
Author aisuru Posted May 27, 2013 Author Posted May 27, 2013 Can I make a suggestion? Just delete him as a friend. It takes only two seconds and trust me, when you do it, you will be much happier for it, instead of interpreting every comment or smiley picture as a reflection of his feelings towards you. It's not FB. While I do have him blocked on this particular site, I can still see things when I'm not signed in. It's all good. Didn't tear me down or anything.
cdt76 Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I unfriended my ex on facebook almost immediately and have never requested back. But I have a buddy that is still facebook friends with her and he for some unknown reason feels the need to update me on what she is doing. Like this weekend she was at the lake with her girlfriend in bikini's and blasted a bunch of pictures for everyone on FB to see. I just told my friend, I don't see any of those and thanks. WTH?? Why do I want to see her partying and having fun and doing who knows what with whom? Seriously, sometimes friends are my worst enemy! 1
CorridorE Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 I unfriended my ex on facebook almost immediately and have never requested back. But I have a buddy that is still facebook friends with her and he for some unknown reason feels the need to update me on what she is doing. Like this weekend she was at the lake with her girlfriend in bikini's and blasted a bunch of pictures for everyone on FB to see. I just told my friend, I don't see any of those and thanks. WTH?? Why do I want to see her partying and having fun and doing who knows what with whom? Seriously, sometimes friends are my worst enemy! I have a friend who does the same thing. She says she's only still friends with him on facebook because if/when his relationship with his rebound girl falls apart, she wants to be the first to know about it because she hates him and is waiting for it to happen. But when they post coupley statuses and pictures, she somehow feels the need to tell me about it. She'll be like "you'll never guess what he just said!" and I'll say, "no, I probably can't, and that's the way I want it to stay." 2
Chi townD Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 "To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." Yeah..... that quote makes no sense to me. Feels like the sun from both sides. Both sides of what? The far side of the sun and the front side? Or does it mean that he feels the sun on his face and the other side...which would be his ass. So, if it's reference to love and he's talking about his ass. That would mean that he's really happy about the ass loving he's getting? Hey, not being judgmental here! Whatever floats his boat I guess... 4
smorgenHeckengard Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 I'm sorry to hear that. You're very strong, I probably would have sent a txt after that. I'm in a generally good place lately. Which is funny since I read the ex's social media less and less these days. This morning, I found this gem of a quote from him: "To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." Well hell... spiral incoming... is he thinking of his life in general, the two of us, or (horrors) does he have a new relationship that he's in. I don't believe he's in a new relationship based on what I know of his history and what he told me recently, but who knows. So yeah.... I'll just allow myself to dwell on that one. In addition to a few other quotes he has up right now... Makes me wonder if he's missing me. Likely not. But I'm wondering. And slightly hoping. MEH. Or he's just wishing for a better relationship because he thinks ours was ****. This is why you don't read social media. Cause now of course, I want to write that awesome email or text that will make him respond. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Yeah, not happening. 1
Author aisuru Posted May 29, 2013 Author Posted May 29, 2013 I'm sorry to hear that. You're very strong, I probably would have sent a txt after that. Actually... I sent a brief 3 line email. It is what it is. The email had nothing to do with us or the relationship. Just congratulated him regarding a recent career accomplishment of his. Improvement the text I sent him 3 weeks ago. Honestly? The silence from him after that text 3 weeks ago and from the email this week kind of helps me shelve him away in my brain. Four weeks ago, I was notified my job was being eliminated. I texted him that day and he responded. We corresponded for awhile and then I cut it off. I miss him. I'm not going to lie. There are reasons that I understand why we're not together right now. Some circumstantial, some timing, some just us. Coincidentally... I came across a t-shirt of his in my dresser tonight. I'm not even sure how it got there as he wasn't one to leave much here (nor I at his place since we live 2 blocks away) and I thought I gave him everything back. It smells just like him... So it's not like I think I laundered it with my own laundry. Just makes me nostalgic. Oh well. I would like to be in a relationship and hopefully be married one day. If it's not with him, he at least provided me a glimpse of the man I'd like to settle down with. And the things within myself I need to figure out to be ready for that man. 1
smorgenHeckengard Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Yeah I missed my ex today so I ended up calling them. As soon as I heard their voice I was suddenly calmer. It's hard to let go, and i'm only a couple weeks in. I hope i'm at a much calmer place, like you seem to be (slip ups happen), very soon. Actually... I sent a brief 3 line email. It is what it is. The email had nothing to do with us or the relationship. Just congratulated him regarding a recent career accomplishment of his. Improvement the text I sent him 3 weeks ago. Honestly? The silence from him after that text 3 weeks ago and from the email this week kind of helps me shelve him away in my brain. Four weeks ago, I was notified my job was being eliminated. I texted him that day and he responded. We corresponded for awhile and then I cut it off. I miss him. I'm not going to lie. There are reasons that I understand why we're not together right now. Some circumstantial, some timing, some just us. Coincidentally... I came across a t-shirt of his in my dresser tonight. I'm not even sure how it got there as he wasn't one to leave much here (nor I at his place since we live 2 blocks away) and I thought I gave him everything back. It smells just like him... So it's not like I think I laundered it with my own laundry. Just makes me nostalgic. Oh well. I would like to be in a relationship and hopefully be married one day. If it's not with him, he at least provided me a glimpse of the man I'd like to settle down with. And the things within myself I need to figure out to be ready for that man. 1
Author aisuru Posted May 29, 2013 Author Posted May 29, 2013 Yeah I missed my ex today so I ended up calling them. As soon as I heard their voice I was suddenly calmer. It's hard to let go, and i'm only a couple weeks in. I hope i'm at a much calmer place, like you seem to be (slip ups happen), very soon. I love him and care about him. I want him to be happy. I want the best for both of us. I could be selfish and think I'm the best for him. But maybe I'm not. Perhaps he is not the best for me. I don't think this was an easy decision for him. Partly because of the relationship we had. And yes, because of snooping on his social media site, I'm fairly certain he still thinks of me and that this hasn't been any easier for him than it has been for me. So I give him the space he needs and tonight I wear his tshirt while checking off items on my life to do list. He wouldn't want me to hurt too much. I don't want him to hurt too much. We will all be okay my friend. This is but a bump in the road. A minor detour. I'm not interested in falling down the ravine. I'd much rather continue on to the waterfalls and ocean views at the top. Perhaps I'll see you there. 3
confused00 Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Us who have been broken up will kick ourselves in the butt wondering what they are thinking, how they feel, the truth is they may think of us but certainly not thinking about it as we are. I know you have read my post and my mentality is the dumper made the decision and they deserve to live with it even if we move on. 1
confused00 Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 I must say I've seen a few of your posts and that was my issue with my ex communication. I must say from experience it is good you are going through this now rather then on my end four years later and one year of back and forth. so five. i do know my ex and i needed this break as well and sometimes people just jump to get back together to quickly to break up again because nothing was fixed which was my situation. When I broke up with him i was only focusing on what he did wrong now the tables have been turned and i see how I can become a better person. It's truely a blessing and hopefully depending on how you want things to turn out your ex will see both sides as well. These quotes from the notebook have helped me... "Sometimes we need to be apart to understand just how much we truly love each other .” ( guess thats my optimistic side because he kept staying In contact however i am still strong even though i do love him and don't have that urge to continue our back and forth) “The scariest thing about distance is that you don’t know whether they’ll miss you or forget you.” “I know, but no matter what I choose I have to live with it. Forever. I have to be able to go forward and not look back anymore. Can you understand that?” ( this one was what i struggled with if NC was the right thing) Stay strong! 2
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 I just watched that South Park about FB and Social Media. It was hilarious, and as always, completely on-point! I think Social Media is very damaging and I don't take part in any of it. Not one site. I would be set back daily if I were to check up on the ex on SM. Would literally kill me. I don't know how so many dumpees do it. Seems like such self inflicted torture!! Out of site, out of mind... 3
avelonia2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 I love him and care about him. I want him to be happy. I want the best for both of us. I could be selfish and think I'm the best for him. But maybe I'm not. Perhaps he is not the best for me. I don't think this was an easy decision for him. Partly because of the relationship we had. And yes, because of snooping on his social media site, I'm fairly certain he still thinks of me and that this hasn't been any easier for him than it has been for me. So I give him the space he needs and tonight I wear his tshirt while checking off items on my life to do list. He wouldn't want me to hurt too much. I don't want him to hurt too much. We will all be okay my friend. This is but a bump in the road. A minor detour. I'm not interested in falling down the ravine. I'd much rather continue on to the waterfalls and ocean views at the top. Perhaps I'll see you there. Awesome post, Aisuru. You should be so proud of yourself for growing through this experience. Sometimes things feel like they are stuck near the ravine it's good to step back so you can get some perspective. At first I was feeling angry and wanting to place blame and now I'm feeling very much like you are. The anger has subsided and I'm beginning to see things in a different light. I know I can't blame anyone and I don't WANT to anymore. Keep growing! 1
avelonia2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 I must say I've seen a few of your posts and that was my issue with my ex communication. I must say from experience it is good you are going through this now rather then on my end four years later and one year of back and forth. so five. i do know my ex and i needed this break as well and sometimes people just jump to get back together to quickly to break up again because nothing was fixed which was my situation. When I broke up with him i was only focusing on what he did wrong now the tables have been turned and i see how I can become a better person. It's truely a blessing and hopefully depending on how you want things to turn out your ex will see both sides as well. These quotes from the notebook have helped me... "Sometimes we need to be apart to understand just how much we truly love each other .” ( guess thats my optimistic side because he kept staying In contact however i am still strong even though i do love him and don't have that urge to continue our back and forth) “The scariest thing about distance is that you don’t know whether they’ll miss you or forget you.” “I know, but no matter what I choose I have to live with it. Forever. I have to be able to go forward and not look back anymore. Can you understand that?” ( this one was what i struggled with if NC was the right thing) Stay strong! Another awesome post. I completely agree. I know I didn't handle things in the best way, but it happened and it's on me. I am learning so much as I let myself really grieve. 1
maturityassets Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Well I realized how damaging social media can be. Me ex's sister liked out one of my statuses about me going to the concert (and my ex bought the tickets) So out of curiosity, I checked my ex's FB. Seems like she's not happy (post stuff how she has headaches and shes not feeling her best and it sucks), searching for attention, while a guy seems to be posting all over her wall as she gives sort of half caring responses. Has been making me over think things, and for the last 2 days have gone through all the stages of grieving again rapidly. Think by the end of the weekend I should be fine, but now I know never to check that profile out again lol. For now music, working out, and being with friends will help me cope
Recommended Posts