humph.. Posted October 3, 2004 Posted October 3, 2004 I have read a lot of posts on here about people getting upset with their partners watching porn, masturbating etc. I have a question though for everyone here.. Is it really your business what your partner does in the privacy of the bedroom when they are alone? Let me finish.. If your partner wants to view material of this nature, if your partner masturbates, if your partner likes to relieve themselves alone and it doesn't in any way affect your relationship, then is it any of your business what masturbation and visual material your partner engages in? Im not saying this is MY point of view, im just curious to what people think about this issue..
pinkdarling Posted October 3, 2004 Posted October 3, 2004 I really don't think it is any of my business what my partner does in private alone. Maturbation is a normal part of life and for a lot of men i know isn't just about sex - it's a release for stress, anger or anxiety. For women masturbation can be the sole depictitor for how to orgasm and enjoy sex. Porn is a healthy outlet for fantasies that one may not otherwise act out, depicting fantasy women and men which remain unattainable to most people. Now do I Feel that the porn industry sets up unrealtic expectations for women to live up to - yes. As so far to say that most people do not have those bodies and most women do not orgasm in that manner and many men feel inadequte when they don't. but that's another thread completely. I would much rather my partner use these as outlets than cheat, and quite frankly i feel that both of these things are part of a normal healthy sex life.
teck21 Posted October 3, 2004 Posted October 3, 2004 '.. it doesn't in any way affect your relationship', in other words, have some sort of negative emotional effect on either person. There you go, it doesn't matter what they do, whether it's masturbation or reading the financial pages. It's all subjective.
Merin Posted October 3, 2004 Posted October 3, 2004 No I don't think it's your business. If the material they are viewing isn't illegal (child pornorgraphy) then I think everyone is entitled to some privacy.
Proto Posted October 3, 2004 Posted October 3, 2004 No, whatever a partner does privately is none of the other partner's business unless it's mutually consented upon that it is each other's business. Also, porn is a normal, HEALTHY object in a relationship that keeps your sex drive and passion for your partner high even when he/she is not around. So long as the porn isn't illegal it should be encouraged.
Author humph.. Posted October 3, 2004 Author Posted October 3, 2004 My point exactly. I posted this question because i wanted to see what people thought on this issue. I personally think if it doesn't involve illegal activities and cheating and it's not affecting the relationship in a negative way (like if they lost their desire for you because of porn etc) then it's really not ones place to interfere..
johan Posted October 3, 2004 Posted October 3, 2004 The other side of the coin: the more stuff you keep private and separate from the relationship, the more distance and resentment you risk building into the relationship. A secretive, sneaky partner is not an open, communicative, sharing partner.
mymojo Posted October 3, 2004 Posted October 3, 2004 I'd say as long as you provide your partner with sexual release when they desire such that your solo pleasuring activities are none of their buisness. I love my partner,enjoy giving him pleasure via BJ's and handjobs but when it comes to my own orgasms I prefer to take my pleasure solo via porn viewing,erotic reading and using my fingers or a vibrator.
CurlyIam Posted October 3, 2004 Posted October 3, 2004 My answer would be "nope, none of your busines", but in reality I'm just happy MY bf rarely watches porn! Does he masturbate? He did tell me about it. A Lot? I wouldn't know, it did not affect my relationship with him (I mean sex, you know ). Am I happy that he's doing it? Hum...not really, but I can live with it. I tell you, if he didn't look at another female body I'd ... get bored (and with a LOT of work on my hands, if you know what I mean) ? Maybe it's just convenient. I'd go for convinient. I'mnot crazy about this work, but, hey, it works !
Adunaphel Posted October 3, 2004 Posted October 3, 2004 Originally posted by humph.. I have read a lot of posts on here about people getting upset with their partners watching porn, masturbating etc. I have a question though for everyone here.. Is it really your business what your partner does in the privacy of the bedroom when they are alone? Let me finish.. If your partner wants to view material of this nature, if your partner masturbates, if your partner likes to relieve themselves alone and it doesn't in any way affect your relationship, then is it any of your business what masturbation and visual material your partner engages in? I think it is some of my business, yes. If my partner was into rape porn, SM porn, legal porn where the models are 18 + but look like they were 15, I'd like to know so I can get the hell out of the relationship. I flipped when I found pics of girls who were 18+ but looked very younger and were dressed and shaved like 15 years old in my so's computer. I reacted pretty badly. I am still with him because the majority of the pics in his pc are of ladies who look like they are adults. Also, since porn *does* bother me (even if I can live with it, I guess) I'd like to know how much a guy I might be dating watches it. Between two equally cute and funny guys, I'd pick the one who does not watch a lot of porn. if your partner likes to relieve themselves alone and it doesn't in any way affect your relationship It will always affect any relationship I will be in. Just an example. If my bf on a particular moment has no time to talk with me on the phone/online because he's reading/he's tired/he's watching a movie/he's talking to a buddy/he's having a snack/whatever, that's fine. If it is because he's too busy watching porn, I'll take it very personally.
Nosmas Posted October 3, 2004 Posted October 3, 2004 If your partner wants to view material of this nature, if your partner masturbates, if your partner likes to relieve themselves alone and it doesn't in any way affect your relationship, then is it any of your business what masturbation and visual material your partner engages in? None of MY business Freedom of speech is alive and well here (albeit is is a sadly one way street) No. None of my business Freedom of expression also widely available. And Certainly NOT!! Freedom to take a dump in private. Perhaps the only corner of the castle I'm safe?
Author humph.. Posted October 11, 2004 Author Posted October 11, 2004 It's not just porn but stuff like sex toys etc. some guys perhaps arent comfortable with these things too. But at the end of the day if your partner is still desiring you, respecting you, faithful and within the bounds of the law, is it so terrible for them to look at naughty pics/movies? is it something a person even needs to know about their partner?
babybear Posted October 13, 2004 Posted October 13, 2004 Masturbating is totally normal, and I have no qualms with my bf doing it....or watching porn. A lap dance at a strip club though...that would bother me and I'd want to know about it. Bb
faux Posted October 13, 2004 Posted October 13, 2004 I do not think private behavior of this sort is anyone else's business. Masturbation and viewing pornography are almost sacred rights to an individual. If a person should insist that I stop masturbating, or stop viewing pornography, then I would insist that she watch me use the restroom in graphic detail. If she wants to become so involved and controlling of my private life, to which she should have no control, then she had better make sure that she gets the full experience.
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