Tmo2 Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 7 months post breakup, she left - and 5 months without seeing each other. We were on low contact for about 2-3 months... I was getting detached, I did allot of work on myself. I went in there without expectations the first time... Things went great, maybe to good actually. We met 2 afternoons in a row, then 1 week later we met for a full day+night. She is seeing someone, says she does not love him and has been thinking about leaving him for a while (That's what she says, but still hasn't been done). On my side I didn't want to interfere. We had fun, I stayed myself, we had better communication than before, we got very close again quickly. And before I knew it, it caught me off guard, I got attached emotionally again. It is causing me pain. It has set me back. Now I have pulled back, we haven't spoken since (4 days)... I am conflicted again, asking myself: Why haven't I moved on? Should I still hold on to hope? I am pondering constantly about how to act: I am thinking about cutting contact and waiting for her to make the moves while I continue my path, etc. I want her back in my life, but I cannot wait and in the end get burned, I am having a hard time cutting the loss, how am I suppose to change how I feel about her and say to myself that she ain't the one? Some people say that I did good and I should now pull back and wait for her to come back, since I fixed myself, they think its only matter of time, that she needs to miss me now... While others remind me that she's with someone now, and not with me. What do you think about waiting for her rebound to finish, and holding on to hope Vs Finding another fish to swim with?
aisuru Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 I think you need to put yourself first. Appreciate she has been honest about this other guy. She may be having second thoughts about that relationship, but remember you are the comfortable spot. Take this time to reign those erratic emotions in again. It's all to be expected. I'm guessing you would like to reconcile? You could proceed very cautiously, but some time without speaking would be good. I know, I know, the no contact folks will come on and say return to no contact. There is merit in that. I'm not sure I would advocate spending time with her while she has this other guy around. But I can understand the temptation and the reality. Most of all however, what are you doing to protect your heart and YOU?
avelonia2013 Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 That would be a set back for me too if I were in your shoes. If she has a guy in the picture and is wishy washy about what she wants to do then you need to live your life as if she's gone. Don't put yourself in a position to torture yourself. You can't sit around waiting for her while she has the best of both worlds. Value yourself more and don't settle for leftover crumbs she tosses your way. It's unfair of her to give you a glimpse of hope while she is in a relationship with the other guy. Live your life and make it clear you're not hanging around in limbo while she decides. That's too painful of a position to put yourself in right now...as you have already experienced recently. 1
Author Tmo2 Posted May 29, 2013 Author Posted May 29, 2013 I've been feeling better, thanks for the replies. She called me yesterday at 9am lol... I guess she was thinking about me when she woke up. Anyways, I kept it very short, she had nothing to say really. We spoke for 4mins, then I hung up. I kinda stopped caring of the outcome, it helps... I also stopped logging in on skype, which also helps, we started talking regularly on that, sooo now its low contact, and I feel better. I regained focus on my life - my feelings went back to what they were before we met again.
Recommended Posts