who_am_i Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 Your affair is over...there was a d-day and your MM disappears. You know that he has decided to work on his marriage. He has made it quite clear that your relationship is over. Time has passed. You've gained some control over your emotions. You can see the big picture and have come to terms with the result of your actions. Then it happens...you see them together and it's like someone has knocked the wind out of you. Logically, you knew they were together but seeing it instantly made it real...and it hurts. Has anyone experienced this? We live a good distance apart, but due to the holiday weekend ended up in the same "touristy" town. I saw them but they did not see me...there wasn't any interaction. They weren't talking or laughing or holding hands...but they were together. I'm not sure why this comes as a surprise to me. I knew he intended on making it right with her. I knew that our affair was over and there was no chance that would change. I guess maybe I had a little hope someplace deep down that I didn't realize I had? I mean...I feel like sh*t about the whole situation. I can honestly say that if he called tomorrow I'd tell him to hit the bricks. Did I have that hope that he missed me...of course, but this experience has taught me a lot of things that...let's be honest...I could have and should have done without. Regardless if he missed me...I now know better. So what's my problem? It's like an emotional sneak attack...gorilla warfare on the heart. I'm just so tired...it seems endless. Just when you think you're getting your sh*t together...it's something else.
lilmisscantbewrong Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 Your affair is over...there was a d-day and your MM disappears. You know that he has decided to work on his marriage. He has made it quite clear that your relationship is over. Time has passed. You've gained some control over your emotions. You can see the big picture and have come to terms with the result of your actions. Then it happens...you see them together and it's like someone has knocked the wind out of you. Logically, you knew they were together but seeing it instantly made it real...and it hurts. Has anyone experienced this? We live a good distance apart, but due to the holiday weekend ended up in the same "touristy" town. I saw them but they did not see me...there wasn't any interaction. They weren't talking or laughing or holding hands...but they were together. I'm not sure why this comes as a surprise to me. I knew he intended on making it right with her. I knew that our affair was over and there was no chance that would change. I guess maybe I had a little hope someplace deep down that I didn't realize I had? I mean...I feel like sh*t about the whole situation. I can honestly say that if he called tomorrow I'd tell him to hit the bricks. Did I have that hope that he missed me...of course, but this experience has taught me a lot of things that...let's be honest...I could have and should have done without. Regardless if he missed me...I now know better. So what's my problem? It's like an emotional sneak attack...gorilla warfare on the heart. I'm just so tired...it seems endless. Just when you think you're getting your sh*t together...it's something else. Yep - been there - he was with the entire family - wife, siblings, parents, etc. this was the infamous "red stripe" incident. Haven't been in the same place since and that was nearly two years ago. Sometimes I think they have spies telling them where I am going to be so they can avoid - lol. It was very uncomfortable for him - this i know. My only real comfort that day was my daughter said " well mom - at least you look hot today". I will never, ever let him see again what I am feeling on the inside. He will only see a very calm, cool, collected and indifferent person if we ever see each other again. 1
Praying4Peace Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 Yes. About 7 weeks out I went to an event with my daughter and I saw him there with his whole family. My daughter wanted a drink and I stood in the back praying he wouldn't turn around. He did and we made eye contact. I have made sure that I will never EVER see him again. It reduced me to a ball on the floor at home but that day he only saw me standing tall and proud with no emotion on my face. I looked right back at him. I felt like I was looking at a dead relative that wasn't supposed to be alive. I also knew he was obviously with them, making it right. I just didn't want to see it, just like I'm sure he didn't want to see me standing there all alone. 1
DelusionalOne Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 OMG WAI.... I can't even wrap my head around the pain that must have caused you! I'm so sorry! I have no advice to offer you... Just sympathy. 1
Author who_am_i Posted May 27, 2013 Author Posted May 27, 2013 His wife may or may not recognize me if she fell in my lap. We've never met so I'm not exactly sure what she knows. Regardless, I'm glad he didn't see me. I doubt he would have acknowledged me if he had and that would have made me feel worse...or better...ugh, who knows. I agree that if he were to ever see me again I don't want him to see me as that same weak person who was desperate to keep him. Today was just so unexpected. I guess when you've finally convinced yourself that you're never going to see someone again and then there they are...its quite a shock. Initially I felt a little sick...like those fist days of NC. I just kept telling myself that I've come so far...I know so much more about the reality of these things...and that I deserve far more then he was ever going to provide. Yet again...my head knows it's true, but it doesn't make it any easier.
awkward Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 I'm sorry that you are hurting. I can't even imagine how you felt. Hugs for you.
bellasue Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 I haven't seen them together....yet. We live in the same neighborhood, though, so probably only a matter of time. The one time I did see him, I rounded the corner in my car and ended up dead behind his. I saw him glance in the rear view mirror and recognize it was me. That's when I faced straight ahead and passed his slow ass driving self. I have no idea if he was looking as I sped by. And I don't really care. I agree that seeing them together may trigger something, so I hope it doesn't happen.
tinker683 Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 This is why I'm so glad I live an hour away from her and in a different town. I'm so sorry dear, I can't even imagine how you're feeling :/
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