Tk123 Posted May 26, 2013 Posted May 26, 2013 (edited) Hello there! Some of you know my story and probably most of you don't. To keep it as short and sweet as I can, I have been in a Long-Distance Relationship for 6 months now. We've never met and she shows no desire to meet anytime soon. I can't force myself and keep lying to myself that I'm happy. I know she whores around online with other guys, and knowing her personality, it seems like she can't go any further with anyone past a "virtual" relationship. I am going to pull the plug on this relationship I think, as we're getting no where. So now that you all know where I'm coming from I'll continue with a little bit about myself. I'm a 20 year old college student currently majoring in Music. My schedule is quite intense during the school year, and it doesn't give me the time to join a social club such as a Fraternity. I am friendly with quite a few people in the Music program, but non to the extent that I'd hang out with. It seems like every portion of my life is in tact except the relationship or "lady friends" aspect of my life to say the least. I got a great and loving family that would do anything for me, I drive a sports car that not many college students are lucky enough to have, I finished on the Dean's list for both semesters of my first year in college, I've got a full time job for the Summer as a construction laborer, I am so grateful and humble for all of things and I'm so blessed. My main issue is that I've always lacked confidence which makes me seem awkward in some social situations. I wouldn't say I'm an unattractive guy but I'm by no means a model. I'm about 6'4 with brown hair and brown eyes and I don't feel that bad about my appearance. I've always been a quiet and shy sort of guy with a humble attitude. Summer is here and I don't want to waste my time in this virtual relationship anymore. Simply put, I want to meet more people; particularly women. I only really stay in touch with one girl from my high school days, however I really don't see myself getting into a relationship with her. We're really close friends and I don't want to ruin that. I don't know where to even begin with putting myself out there. Some might suggest going to a club or something but honestly, that ISN'T me. As I said previously, I'm a shy guy and lack confidence. I need something that will build up my self-esteem and make me more attractive around women. I hate to say this, but I've even bothered looking up hours upon hours of pick-up videos on Youtube. They really do nothing for me. I find myself clueless and it is really bothering me. So to sum it up, I'm looking to get the absolute most out of my summer. I want to meet new people and I want to have a good time. I want to forget about this girl who wasted 6 whole months of my life in a virtual relationship. She continued to lead me to believe that we were one day going to meet. During those 6 months, I basically didn't even give any thought to other people in real life, thinking she was the only one I needed. I didn't realize how big of a mistake that was until now. I'm in desperate and dire need of help. I want to turn my life around. I am tired of spending my weekends home on the computer playing stupid games and looking at these forums. As much as I love this place, I need to have fun in real life. I don't know where to begin and I am lost. I greatly appreciate any help or assistance I receive. Thanks again. Edited May 26, 2013 by Tk123
Leeway Harris Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 It's excellent that you realize your online relationship is not healthy. I agree that you need to end that as soon as possible. You said you're a music major. Do you play an instrument? Because ISTM that would be solid gold for meeting people, ESPECIALLY women! Can you join a band? Or if you sing, a choral group? Go to open mikes, they have them in virtually every college town worth mentioning. That would be a great way to develop your confidence. And you should probably stop watching those youtube pickup videos. I doubt they'll do anything for you, and besides, you don't need them. Good luck.
skydiveaddict Posted May 27, 2013 Posted May 27, 2013 To keep it as short and sweet as I can, I have been in a Long-Distance Relationship for 6 months now. We've never met and she shows no desire to meet anytime soon. I've never understood how anyone could be in a relationship with someone they have never even met. How is that even possible?
Author Tk123 Posted May 27, 2013 Author Posted May 27, 2013 It's excellent that you realize your online relationship is not healthy. I agree that you need to end that as soon as possible. You said you're a music major. Do you play an instrument? Because ISTM that would be solid gold for meeting people, ESPECIALLY women! Can you join a band? Or if you sing, a choral group? Go to open mikes, they have them in virtually every college town worth mentioning. That would be a great way to develop your confidence. And you should probably stop watching those youtube pickup videos. I doubt they'll do anything for you, and besides, you don't need them. Good luck. Thanks for the response. Yes I do play an instrument, and yes I am in the band at school. Like I've said, I'm friendly with many people in the music program however, I really don't see us "hanging out" if that makes any sense. I've met two girls from the instrument section I'm in and I'm very friendly with both of them. We talk often in band and I got their numbers, however I've really never taken it beyond that. They both got boyfriends to top it off. I've never understood how anyone could be in a relationship with someone they have never even met. How is that even possible? As I mentioned in my previous post. It is a very, very, very long story. It has been toxic to say the least and has been literally tearing away at me for a long time now. I've put myself in a terrible position now, because summer is here and I really don't have anyone to spend it with. This online partner of mine is still hesitant to meet, and I'm not going to spend my whole summer waiting for her. I just want to be accepted and have people to hang out with. It is May still and I finally have a break from all my studies for 3 months. This is the perfect opportunity for me and I do not want to blow it. I am just clueless as to where I even begin.
Leeway Harris Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Thanks for the response. Yes I do play an instrument, and yes I am in the band at school. Like I've said, I'm friendly with many people in the music program however, I really don't see us "hanging out" if that makes any sense. I've met two girls from the instrument section I'm in and I'm very friendly with both of them. We talk often in band and I got their numbers, however I've really never taken it beyond that. They both got boyfriends to top it off. Well, that's a start, but I'm not talking about socializing with other musicians or people in your program. I'm talking about taking your instrument to an open mike or coffee house, maybe with a friend who wants to do a duet with you, performing for the crowd, and meeting people in the audience.
El Brujo Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Well, that's a start, but I'm not talking about socializing with other musicians or people in your program. I'm talking about taking your instrument to an open mike or coffee house, maybe with a friend who wants to do a duet with you, performing for the crowd, and meeting people in the audience. ^That.^ Join a local band if you can... one that gets hired to play gigs at parties, clubs, churches, and other venues around town. In addition to meeting loads of people, you'll also make good money if you stick with it.
MsSmurf Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Well, that's a start, but I'm not talking about socializing with other musicians or people in your program. I'm talking about taking your instrument to an open mike or coffee house, maybe with a friend who wants to do a duet with you, performing for the crowd, and meeting people in the audience. Yep I agree with this idea. I and other gals I know head to open mic events all the time to check out guys, relax, and meet new people.
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