She just told me that she loves me, but isn't "In love" with me.

[jh2586]

We met online about a year ago. We've been married since September 2012. We sort of rushed into it due to the fact that she got pregnant and we needed my military benefits to cover medical costs. We talked about it and decided we were going to work it out. Our baby is now 2 months old (beautiful boy). We love each other and we both love our baby, but after asking her this morning if she's "In love" with me, she stuttered and then told me that she wasn't.

 

She told me that she is "starting" to be in love with me and that it takes time. At night she never cuddles with me anymore (she used to when she was pregnant). We are barely intimate and it seems like things are fading. Perhaps she (or we) is suffering post-partum depression? I'm really insecure about our relationship right now and it feels like I'm losing her. I don't want to live my life knowing that my other half doesn't feel the same way that I do with her.

 

I know there isn't a magic word or thing I can do to magically make her in love with me instantly, but it's been about a year now and I'm starting to get concerned. I work really hard, I clean the house, I buy her flowers from time to time etc..

 

What am I doing wrong?

[karnak]

You're not doing anything wrong.

 

She is.

 

But you can't force her to love you.

 

Sorry, mate. Please, be ready for the worst.

[jh2586]

You're not doing anything wrong.

 

She is.

 

But you can't force her to love you.

 

Sorry, mate. Please, be ready for the worst.

 

This is what I'm afraid of. Do you think she meant it when she said it takes time and that she's "starting" to fall in love with me? Or am I doomed at this point?

[findingnemo]

I think she is troubled about something. It may be she is just overwhelmed by the work required with a new born baby. Most first time mothers are shocked at how hard and exhausting it is. That's how PPD sets in. Talk to her more. Ask her how her day was and offer to help more if you can.

 

Don't freak out and show her you're worried she will leave you. Don't pressure her to be more affectionate right now. It will just stress her more. Give it time but show her you are there for her.

[karnak]

Like "findingnemo" said: be patient and cool. Take things one day at a time.