julia12 Posted May 26, 2013 Posted May 26, 2013 Hi everyone, I posted on here ages ago, and everyone was very helpful! I broke up with my ex-boyfriend about ten months ago now. We were going out for about ten months. And here's the thing, common to this part of Love Shack maybe, I still miss him like absolute crazy. Long story short, he is now going out with someone half his age (and way younger than me), someone who he met while me and him were going out. He wasn't seeing her behind my back but there was definite sneakery, like going out with her to the cinema, etc. without me and putting his phone on silent. Most of this happened towards the end of our relationship. It hurt so much, I guess the blow to the ego of the younger woman, the fact that he lied about it when I asked him. I asked him straight ages ago if there was anyone else he would rather be with, he said no. (I think this girl had another boyfriend at the time). I've been guilty of looking at her Facebook page and stuff, and his, which I know is no good at all! I haven't contacted him since we broke up. (The last I heard from him, he sent me a text on my birthday, a couple of months after the break-up, saying, "I'm sorry I haven't been in touch sooner, I was afraid of upsetting you, hope everything is going well for you, I read your letter again last week and I had a wee cry.") (I wrote him a letter saying how much he meant to me just after our break-up, what a fool, eh?) That's about the size of it. I'm going out with someone else just now, he seems lovely, but I just can't get the ex out of my mind. Another thing is that I am considering moving to the city my ex (and my current) boyfriend live in because my job is driving me round the bend and I have trouble with my apartment, and in the new city I would have my cousin's apartment to stay in for free, but it's quite close to my ex's place... I fell for him hard and now I just can't let go. Help! Thanks! Julia. xxx
mbee Posted May 26, 2013 Posted May 26, 2013 Oh Julia, I'm so sorry to hear about your pain. I know the feeling all too well, sadly. These situations are tough BUT I am happy to hear you are seeing someone else. That's a good step in the right direction. I would NOT move close to where your ex lives. If you are thinking about it now, then you will think about it more when you live closer to him. I'm not sure how big the city is, but try to live as far away as possible, and that's economically sound from your ex. Seriously! I think it takes a long time to get over someone. The last guy I was bent out of shape about, I never truly got over him until after 3 years. I was in a 2 year relationship after that guy and a couple of rebounds but never got over him and even embarrassed myself 3 years after the fact by writing mushy letters declaring my love. You wont get over it until you get over it. That's the truth. By the time I got over him, a year later, I met my current ex who I fell madly in love with and love greater than that last guy. Now I'm stuck because I know it will likely take another year or more before I get my ex out of my mind. Either way dating and moving on is a good step. Just have fun and enjoy your boyfriend, Find happiness in those moments.
Author julia12 Posted May 26, 2013 Author Posted May 26, 2013 Hi mbee, Thanks so much for your reply. So sorry to hear you were having troubles, too. The thing about the cities in interesting, my new boyfriend lives in the same city (about 60 miles from my city) but not near my ex. My cousin having a place so near my ex is frustrating, there would be much less point in me moving there if not to take advantage of the free place while I was looking for a job. You're right, though, it would just bring tears! Off to treat myself to some nice food and a good film. Take care. Julia xxx
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