hello324 Posted May 26, 2013 Posted May 26, 2013 So, about a year ago I met up with someone who I have been speaking to for the past eight years on and off online. He is incredible and when we met up it was incredible, due to some personal issues of him, work, normal life stuff, we only really met up once a month. We have been through quite a bit, again his problems, my problems, he's had some really bad relationships and been the root of them - cheating on his girlfriends, making his girlfriend get an abortion etc. I feel like he is not used to having someone like me who just loves him unconditionally and who is there to supprt and care for him. He split with me end of March and through April we still spoke every day, I made a concious effort to not speak as much... Anyways, he does this podcast thing and at the end of it it states about how much he likes this girl and how he is going to see her. He told me this after sending me the link 'probably something I should tell you as we are friends now'...anyways, we met up yesterday for the first time since we split and he right there on the platform, big hug and kiss, said i looked great - everything was fine layed down on a rock in a forest together and as soon as i mentioned us and started to talk through things he clammed up, he sat up held onto his legs, put his hood up, didnt take his sunglasses off again, hands in pocket...he has told me he finds it awkward to speak of his feelings and i didnt want to push him i just wanted to explain that i loved him unconditionally and that i was always there for him... We started walking and he said that he wouldn't talk to me about him going on dates and i asked why and he said he doesnt know but i feel that it's because he's testing the waters out with me? I feel he doesnt fully trust me and I feel because of his past he can't get over that hurdle with me he said that if he was me he would hate me, I reassured him that I do not hate him and I discussed how in my past relationships I wasn't an angel and that it's been hard for me with this because it's my first deep love... I guess I am just a bit confused as to if we are friends why he won't tell me about his dates? throughout the day before we started speaking about us he was saying about couples who we saw, talking about relationships, moving out, where i would like to live etc. he's had a massive hard life that i feel that if i just drop all contact he will feel unloved and think that he is not worthy of it
kassy Posted May 26, 2013 Posted May 26, 2013 I got quite confused with all the declarations of love when just friends. It is clear you want more than friends. It is clear he doesn't. He is dating others, has other friends I assume. Either way, this 'friendship' is not working for you. You need to look after yourself first. Tell him you can't be friends now. You need to move on and wish him well with everything. Ask him to respect your decision and not contact you. Then go no contact and move on with your life. Stop listening to his podcast. Delete his number, emails etc and do yourself a favour. Go meet a nice guy who has less problems and loves you.
Author hello324 Posted May 26, 2013 Author Posted May 26, 2013 I completely understand that and it's strange but I don't hate him or resent him or anything I have nothing but love (as in just friendship love) for him, he's become a really solid foundation in my life and I feel if I did all that he'd be really hurt and confused because that's what people have done to him his whole life, his dad hit him, they were going to put him in care, he had depression, tried to kill himself...he is a good man and a beautiful person just frustrating situation. I have listened to the podcast once and I do not think about the girl he's seeing, it's cool he can see whoever he likes whenever he wants...I just think deleting him etc is not a good move but giving him space i.e not bombarding him with 4242352 emails xxx
apple OR orange Posted May 26, 2013 Posted May 26, 2013 he has someone else, you are no longer going out, he said he doesn't want to talk about "relationship" with you, so stop asking, you either are friends or never contact him. If you cant be friends with him, dont talk to him.
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