Twinkle12345 Posted May 26, 2013 Posted May 26, 2013 I'm 22 this year. I've been with my current boyfriend for almost 7 years. Everything has been smooth sailing. Once in awhile...we do get into arguments but we always give in to one another. It was until recently that my parents brought up the topic of when do we intend to get married. That is when all the problems start occurring. I realized the both of us were not ready to commit. After all, we are still young and no one knows what might happen in future. It was until one of those late night talks when he told me he finds our relationship very stagnant. Just because we don't quarrel often or there were no conflicts doesn't mean we might be meant for each other. It was an open table talk, he told me he has no confidence in himself. So we're still together but I told myself that he shouldn't be my priority anymore. So I went out with friends and tried to keep myself occupied. I still love him but I'm heartbroken upon hearing those words... On the other hand, I have this guy friend who has been in a relationship with his girlfriend for about 5 years. We used to just be very normal friends. But recently...we got closer through text messages as we realized that our relationships both had problems. Both of us needed someone to talk to. We would confine in each other whenever we were upset. Then...I don't know since when, I think I developed a little feelings for him. He was more than a friend. Honestly, I could feel that he feels the same way too. But no one is doing anything because we both know what's the morally correct thing to do. We can't cheat on our partner's backs. So no one is saying anything. The other day...we met up. We just thought of chilling so he brought me somewhere quiet to talk. We were sitting in the car. I'm not sure if it was the ambience. It was raining outside and we were drinking. I'm not good at drinking. So after awhile, I started getting high. I don't know why but I kind of hinted him that I actually do feel something for him. I'm not sure if he's aware though or he might just think I'm drunk. I just knew the whole time I was hugging onto him. There came a point where we were so close. We would have kissed if it was a cm nearer. Apparently, he looked me straight into the eye and didn't push me away. But no, we didn't kiss because we snapped out of it. He told me he just felt very stressed. The whole time, he was taking care of me. He didn't take any advantage of me. After which he sent me home. After I bathe, did I realized what actually happened. I text him to apologize for all that had happened. He told me no worries. Thing now is I don't know what should I do. I don't know how he thinks. I hate this whole waiting game. We're both hanging and we don't know where we're going. No one is willing to do anything. My heart tells me I do have feelings for him. But my brain tells me that's not the right thing to do. I'm pretty sure that's bothering him too. Although his text messages sounds alright, we both kind of know it wasn't alright. We're just pretending we're both fine. I'm afraid I'll lose him as a friend. I'm afraid he won't contact me anymore. What am I supposed to do now? Should I text him 1st? Or should I wait for him to text me? I don't know if he wants to continue our relationship just as friends or maybe to a higher level but of course we have to talk things our between our current relationship. Should I follow my heart or brain? If I'm to text him 1st...when? How to start the conversation? If I'm to wait for him to text me, how long am I supposed to wait to know he's interested too. I feel so miserable...help me please.
skywriter Posted May 26, 2013 Posted May 26, 2013 (edited) Hi Twinkle and welcome. You've been with your boyfriend for all of your high school dating years and so far all of your young adult years. Your relationship from what you've posted sounds rock solid. That's wonderful! Arguements, if they are just petty, are just part of life, and shouldn't negate breaking up. On the other hand, if either of you should feel you're missing out on something in life, it could become an issue. In fact your parents unknowingly bringing up marriage have gotten you thinking. My thoughts are that having seven years invested in one another, youthful years or not, you two should continue to find out where you stand with one another. It's amazing how something said by your parents can open up so much, and so quickly. It's like maybe it was going to surface eventually. The drinking with the friend, it revealed that you are vulnerable right now and looking for answers. This guy showed you respect , that's a good guy. He could've taken advantge of the situation and he chose not to. Never, put the cart before the horse...it won't get you far and always causes regrets. Edited May 26, 2013 by skywriter hello heart, meet brain.
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