needed.... !!!!!

[furby19]

I am going to shorten this as much as I can. I am also going to be honest (even though I might get ripped on about my situation) because I really want someone else’s advice on how they would handle the situation. I was dating one of my co-workers back about a year ago. I stopped dating him because I found out he was married. They were split up when we met and he was living with his friend. When he finally told me he was married the whole thing changed. I asked him if he was going to get a divorce since he was not with her and he said that he was not. I did not see how hanging out with me every day was going to fix his relationship. Even though I liked him a lot, I talked him into going home to try to work things out. From that point on, we would talk at work but did not hang out. Every once in a while, he would try to convince me to be in a relationship with him. He told me he cared about me a lot. I believed him but I refused because he never talked about divorcing his wife. Another deal breaker was the fact that he had moved back in with her, too.

 

About a month later, he told me that he had his own apartment. He said he and his wife were not angry with one anther but that he did better when he lived alone. He said she even put half on the apartment he was living in. Even though I still cared about him, I still kept my distance. He and I eventually got into a big fight over something unrelated to the situation itself and stopped talking.

 

From that day on, we would speak but not converse when we saw one another. Then, I began to think that he was dating a girl at work. Even though we stopped dating after I found out that he was married, I made an agreement with him that I would not date anyone at work. This was his idea! This was mostly due to the fact that I still cared for him and I thought he cared for me. Even though I had not confirmed it, I had a feeling that it was true. The girl left our job a few months later to go work for a different agency.

 

In December, one of his friends (another one of our co-workers) called me on my line at work to ask me if I was going to our Christmas party. I thought it was strange that his friend would keep calling me after that to ask me about a Christmas party especially since I did not have a close or even friendly relationship with his friend. One of my co-workers talked me into going to the Christmas party. I went and when I got there I pulled into the parking lot and just so happen to pull right in front of him. He was sitting in his car as if he was waiting on someone. I went inside and did not say anything to him. When I got inside, I noticed that the girl that used to work at our job was there. He came in later and sat at her table. Even though he tried to be slick and put a chair in between them, I knew he came there for her. I left about 15 minutes later because I was so hurt. Even though I had not talked to him in months, I could not believe he would date someone at work after telling me not to do so.

 

On New Year’s Eve, we ended up working together. He was in a different room. When I went into the room he was in, he gave me a piece of paper and asked me if I could look up something for him on the internet since he did not have access to the internet and could not leave the room he was in. When I went back inside the office I was in, I opened up the piece of paper and found a letter instead. He talked about how he missed me and still cared for me. I responded to the letter (we could not talk, this may sound elementary, but you have to know how our job works). I told him that I had not changed my mind about not dealing with him and I told him that I was hurt about him chasing after our co-worker. He denied dating the girl that used to work at our job even though I knew he was lying. He said he just wanted to be my friend again because he still cared about me. I went along with it since I felt the same way.

 

When I got home, he called me to talk. I asked him if he was still trying to work things out with his wife. He said they tried but it did not work so they went ahead and filed. He would try to come and get me to hang out with him but I did not go. Even though I still cared for him, I was not comfortable hanging out with him because I was still a little hurt about him not coming clean about dating the girl that used to work with us. Approximately two weeks later, we finally hung out. When we were together he showed me a text from someone in his phone. While in the midst of flipping through texts, I saw our old co-workers name/number in his phone. I asked him to let me see the text messages between the two of them. He never showed me the text messages and I got angry. The next day, I decided to stop talking to him because my feelings were hurt about him lying to me about her. This was mid-January.

 

In March, my friend relieved him at work. He left his email open and she and another one of my co-workers read them. Again, excuse the childishness (this is all true, however). While entertaining themselves by reading his emails, she said she stumbled upon emails from the girl that used to work there. Since she is my friend, she felt she should let me in on what was found. My friend alleged that they girl was actually the one coming on to him. She would send him emails asking why he didn’t call her back. She said there was an e-mail where the girl stated that since he and she had did that (gone to the Christmas party) together, they might as well go ahead and be in a relationship. My friend said that he responded with “LOL”. To make a long story short. Their conversations ended with her telling him that she felt like he was using her for a convenience. He eventually responded that “he hopes she have a nice life” but he doesn’t want to date her anymore.

 

My friend said that these e-mails ended in approximately December which was during the time that he and I started back talking. She said there were also emails in his inbox from his wife discussing the divorce. She said it seemed as if they were cool with the decision (based on the tone of the emails).

 

Now that I know that he really is divorced and really wasn’t into the other woman like that, I think about the idea of us getting together. However, I am confused about what I should do. I realize I don’t trust him. He tried to tell me that he wasn’t with his wife anymore when we tried being friends again in January but I did not believe him. Even though he doesn’t date the girl that used to work with us anymore. I am still sort of hurt about how he handled the situation. What should I do……PLEASE help!!!!!!!!!!!!