Frylock Posted October 2, 2004 Posted October 2, 2004 Ok... my story is continuing from my last post: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t48442/ Wrap - up, girlfriend needed time, said she didn't know if I was gonna be the last guy she wanted to date, and broke up with me. I gave her time over the past week, and did a few things here and there with her, just "being friends" you know, which was ****ing hard as hell. Last night I made a really romantic dinner and set it up in my room with candles kind of like a picnic... I played it off as light hearted because I wasn't picking up a romantic vibe... Then we went out for a while, did some things here and there, no kissing or anything like that. So we get back to her house to watch a movie we rented, and we watch it in her room on the bed. Last time I found myself in this position she snuggled up next to me and grabbed my hand, and it sounded like she was crying cuz she didn't know what to do. And this time, I did the whole thing where I seemed like I didn't want to do any of that. She forcefully grabbed my arm and put it around her last night, and laid her head on me... as the movie progressed to the end, her face was about a half inch from mine, her lips barely not touching mine, I could feel her breathing... I figured, what the hell, she obviously wants something, so I leaned in and kissed her (not like I haven't done that before, and that's what I thought when I did it so I wasn't nervous... I was like, why am I nervous? I've kissed her a thousand times... it helped a little). It started off really really really slow, like our lips just pressing against eachothers, tongues slowly coming out. Anyway, long story short we ended up having sex for a good long time, and during the course of it I said I love you in her ear twice, but got no response either time. =( When we were done I made a joke about, "so now I'm friends with benefits then?" And she was like yeah.. ..... YEAH!?!? Damnit I don't want to be friends with benefits. See, the thing is, I love this girl a lot. I know she would regret doing the whole meaningless sex thing later on, and I'm not really down with it in the first place. I don't want to **** her unless it is something special. I know she loves me, she just needs time to figure out what she wants right now. Should I continue having "friends with benefits" sex with her? Or should I tell her that I think we should only be having sex if it is something special... Do you think it is possible for this to develope back into the love she once had for me, once she figures things out? I mean, I know I can't portray it here, but it's quite quite quite obvious she still has feelings for me, she just isn't sure what to do with them.
Author Frylock Posted October 2, 2004 Author Posted October 2, 2004 It's like, sex has become the tease. I want the relationship. When most people start dating, the relationship is the tease for sex... funny how things flip flop. Should I just break it off with her? I don't know... I have been trying to just be my normal self and not bring this **** up because I know it will scare her off... but I feel like i HAVE to talk to her about this friends with benefits ****. I care about her to much to use her as a ****doll...........
Nosmas Posted October 2, 2004 Posted October 2, 2004 I don't want to **** her unless it is something special. I know she loves me, she just needs time to figure out what she wants right now. Should I continue having "friends with benefits" sex with her? Oviously you need to abstain a few years. After then I bet you'll be happy with the FWB invite.
SoleMate Posted October 2, 2004 Posted October 2, 2004 Don't settle for less than what you want, because you'll end up feeling resentful and used. Best to find out if she really loves you back before you open yourself up like that again. If an ex becomes a FWB, I think that really means that the ex is an easy and comfortable way to get some physical needs met. It'll be a lot easier for her to miss you if you start letting her feel your absence. And she can't miss the physical aspects of your relationship unless she is not enjoying them! So I would give her "space". Yes, there is a risk you will "lose" her; but sounds like she is not really yours at the moment anyhow.
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