My boyfriend constantly puts me down

[retro_sunshine]

I have been with my boyfriend for about a year now and he is my first love. This guy is the most perfect person I've ever met; incredibly smart, 6 foot 4, supports me and is the definition of tall dark and handsome. But lately he has done nothing but put me down. I am a very sensitive person so I'm not sure if I am being a wimp or not. He always compares me to other girls and teases me about how dumb I am. The worst of it though are all the fat jokes. Every day he verbally abuses me to the point of tears. He has straight up told me he is embarrassed of my own body and tells me what not to eat. I love my body! I have never in my life been told I was fat and I really don't think I am (I'm 5 foot 4 and 121 lbs so you be the judge of that). I am in love with his good side but his bad side is making me question our relationship. Please help!

[HokeyReligions]

That's sure not my version perfect. Dump the SOB unless you believe him and if you do believe it get some help and dump him anyway.

[BluEyeL]

He is terrible and you certainly need to get out of this relationship. I'm sorry. I hope you find the strength to leave.

[Tinie]

Making cruel comments about how "fat" and "dumb" you supposedly are does not sound like the definition of boyfriend material to me...

[FitChick]

He wants to end the relationship but doesn't want to be the bad guy so he is trying to get you to dump him instead. Do it.

[apple OR orange]

dump him.

 

however for all those "nice" guys out there, this is proven point, hes not nice, and yet she still wants to see his "nice" side....

 

just saying.

[Quiet Storm]

In relationships, you should build your partner up. Not put them down.

 

He wants you to feel bad about yourself. Not cool.

 

It indicates that he has issues. It probably makes him feel better about himself, to put you down. He may be insecure and it makes him feel a sense of power to do this to you.

 

Whatever good qualities he has are trumped by this behavior.

 

Relationships should be like a team. You highlight and accentuate each others positives. The fact that he picks you apart and focuses on the negative should tell you that he is not a good partner for a relationship.

 

A guy like this will drag you down.

 

It is a possibility that he does want out, but is too cowardly to end it. So do it for him. You deserve better.

[Vinegar]

as much as someone has nice qualities do not underestimate the bad qualities. This is what gets people into trouble, especially women.

 

do not be in denial... my best guess is he is a jerk and you would be better off without him.

[CarrieT]

You said this:

Every day he verbally abuses me to the point of tears.

 

But the statement above, contradicts this:

This guy is the most perfect person I've ever met

Perfect people don't abuse people.

 

incredibly smart

Smart people don't need to belittle people.

 

supports me

All evidence to the contrary if he is making you cry.

 

but his bad side is making me question our relationship. Please help!

Keep questioning his bad side - and then dump his a$$.

[Leigh 87]

It is alarming that you would not only stay with a guy who abuses you; the fact you think he is a NICE/GOOD person is even more baffling.

 

He is a terrible person.

 

Kind, caring and genuinely NICE people DO NOT abuse others.

 

Ever.

 

PLEASE please please leave him!

 

I sense that your not strong enough though and will prob just keep with this loser until he destroys any shred of self esteem you have left though.

 

I am fearful for your well being:(

[Col1]

I am in love with his good side but his bad side is making me question our relationship. Please help!

He is playing mind games with you, and it's working so far. He will continue treating you like a doormat for his sick amusement. He is afraid of intimacy. His goal, unfortunately, is to get you to break-up with him. Then he can justify that you're the terrible one.

Edited May 26, 2013 by Col1

[KaterinaVon]

I have to agree with CarrieT.

 

Haven't you ever heard the saying "love is blind" ? It's because love doesn't think with reason and logic, instead it thinks with emotions/feelings.

 

A guy that doesn't love you will point out ALL your physical flaws and belittle you. A man that's in love will think you're beautiful even when you just woke up that morning with your hair all over the place.

 

This man is suppose to appreciate you for no reason other than because it's you.

 

Do you see how even when you are complaining about him... you still take up for him and call him nice ? Well, that's because YOU are in love.

 

Do you see how even when you are sweet and give him your all... he still finds faults in things you can't help about yourself ? Well, that's because HE isn't in love.

[USMCHokie]

Seriously doubtful that this is a real thread or poster, but the lesson to be learned here is:

 

6 foot 4, supports me and is the definition of tall dark and handsome.

 

=

 

...the most perfect person I've ever met

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

I think you should dump him, depending on how long you have been together because if you're older and have been with him a while... Idk starting over would suck but you don't deserve to be treated like that

[daletom]

Seriously doubtful that this is a real thread or poster, but the lesson to be learned here is:

 

6 foot 4, supports me and is the definition of tall dark and handsome.

 

=

the most perfect person I've ever met

Yeah, sounds like she's pretty young. Seems to be judging the guy on some rather superficial characteristics (do you suppose that, ironically, THAT is why her B/F calls her "dumb"?), but she's getting smarter.

[USMCHokie]

And what some of you folks here don't understand is that these guys don't always START OUT being jerks. He WAS a "nice guy" up until very recently, and that's why the OP is having such a hard time accepting his new behavior.

 

It's called adapting and going with what works.