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Recently had a fun first date (she's newly single)

somedude81

By somedude81
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PJKino Established Member

PJKino

Posted
Posted

OR hmm, is he just playing with me?"

 

Just the same as a man wanting specific qualities in a mate, like appearance.

 

Different needs, different execution.

 

 

Yes because clearly appereance and looks mean nothing to women :laugh:

Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted
Yes because clearly appereance and looks mean nothing to women :laugh:

 

Well, you can choose to improve your appearance or to improve your sour personality. Which is it going to be?

 

Or, you could just choose to be happy, but I never actually see happiness from you. :confused:

  • Like 1
xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
Posted
I love how all the women in this thread are saying you must do this and that right away because real men dont wait and arent passive yet most women are scared to death thmselves to inititate :rolleyes:

 

I realize now all "confidence" is that women talk bout in in a man is really initiating everyhting so a women doesnt have to risk anything herself.

 

The confidence creates the desire to be kissed. SD has been bold and confident, and it's made her interested in him.

 

SD, keep it up! :bunny:

  • Like 4
Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted

I've been refraining from posting on this because I have mixed feelings.

 

On the one hand, I am glad for SD. I think this is great.

 

On the other hand, I STILL think he really needs to focus on finding his own happiness within. If things don't work out, yeah, he'll be able to say he had a girl for a short time, but I am pretty damn confident that he'll go back to being miserable. So seriously, unless this woman ends up being the woman of his dreams and stays with him for the rest of his life, he's only slapping a bandage on a stump.

 

I'd love to see, "I'm going out with this girl, but I'm also doing work on my own to see how I can be happy alone."

  • Like 2
PJKino Established Member

PJKino

Posted
Posted
Well, you can choose to improve your appearance or to improve your sour personality. Which is it going to be?

 

Or, you could just choose to be happy, but I never actually see happiness from you. :confused:

 

Not much i can do to improve my appereance unless i buy a new face:laugh: and my personality is only "sour" at times on here becasue im come to vent just like most here.. anyone who knows me would say im a pretty good person and happy person..

Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted
Not much i can do to improve my appereance unless i buy a new face:laugh: and my personality is only "sour" at times on here becasue im come to vent just like most here.. anyone who knows me would say im a pretty good person and happy person..

 

I'm going to have to go ahead and disagree with you. I can tell the difference when someone is truly happy with their life, and when someone isn't. I can project all i want at work, for example, or around friends, but most people remark that they can tell when I am TRULY happy and joyous and all that.

 

Besides, it's not all about what you're showing. I'd like you to actually BE happy. BE happy being single. BE happy just...being.

  • Like 2
dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

Posted
Posted
Yes because clearly appereance and looks mean nothing to women :laugh:

 

Because clearly it means anything and everything.:rolleyes:

 

Honestly, have you looked at men lately? Probably not.

 

If the survival of the human race depended on the looks of men, we would have died out long ago.

 

We can't see your Cajones until you pants come off, but in general we can tell who has the bigger ones long before that. And yes, that is a metaphor.

 

Furthermore, maybe stop looking at your flame-out failures. I am not a pretty girl. Not at all. Men did not make a habit of approaching me when I was younger. I've never been single more than a couple months. Why? I asked guys out. When it certainly wasn't popular or common to do that. If I went to a party or social gathering, I asked guys to dance. I would dance almost every song. Sure I didn't walk home with a pocketful of phone numbers. Most times (vast majority) not even one. But I enjoyed the experience. I put myself out there. A LOT.

 

Regularly enough that I faced rejection. A fair amount. Who gives a rats as*?

 

I knew that I didn't have what 99% of the other girls have. So what? Die alone? Screw it all? No. I had other things to offer a man besides my looks, and it was only going to be a matter of time before I found the guy that could see that.

 

Ironically enough, my husband was one of the few that chased me. Yay. But long before then I made my own luck.

 

People can only take away what you give them. I wasn't going to hand over my fate to all of the men that rejected and/or dumped me. I only needed to be lucky enough to find companionship once. So if they weren't it, then I was one guy closer to finding it. And even some of the guys I asked out I realized weren't going to work for me so I dropped them.

 

Dating is a lot like marketing. Maybe 6000 people won't buy a kleenex holder with a picture of a dog on it. But then there's this one person who loves kleenex and loves the breed of dog on it and there you go. Someone who doesn't just buy the dumb thing, but actually decorates with it and loves it. Find that nut. Find that nut that's looking for that guy that cares about them.

 

Have a little self-respect.

Xinreeki Established Member

Xinreeki

Posted
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I agree maybe some of us whine a bit too much.

 

But I think that others think unsuccessful PEOPLE here do nothing to better or change.

 

I'm a person with a lot of resolve. My last two years of undergrad GPA was a 4.0 in a tough major. So, I'm not a quitter or lazy.

 

Should we just STFU in the face of constant rejection? Maybe so.

 

I was being serious and trying to be helpful, since all other routes of advice seem to have failed, thus far at least. :(

 

If you are fed up of trying. Then don't try. Problem solved. :)

 

How else can I or anyone here possibly help you? :(

Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted

 

Furthermore, maybe stop looking at your flame-out failures. I am not a pretty girl. Not at all.

Have a little self-respect.

 

Stop that. I don't care what others think of how you look, but I will not let someone I like (or even some of the people here I don't care much about) say that they don't think they're attractive. :mad:

 

Do I think I'm hotter than other girls, or prettier, or flawless? No. Do I think I'm beautiful? **** yes.

PJKino Established Member

PJKino

Posted
Posted
I'm going to have to go ahead and disagree with you. I can tell the difference when someone is truly happy with their life, and when someone isn't. I can project all i want at work, for example, or around friends, but most people remark that they can tell when I am TRULY happy and joyous and all that.

 

Besides, it's not all about what you're showing. I'd like you to actually BE happy. BE happy being single. BE happy just...being.

 

Iam happy i dont even think about women when im out only on here where seeing certain posts can get me worked up or into a funk or as i said its a place to vent about certain things i cant otherwise.

 

But overall im a pretty laid back positive person, am i positive when it comes to attacting women? of course not only a fool would be confident over no sucess in 30 years but its not something i take out in public with me.

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

Posted
Posted
Being likable doesnt always translate to being sexually attractive..

 

I realize that's true. On the other hand, if you really ARE likable, I assure you that there ARE women who will fall for that and become interested in you in other ways.

 

Guys who come here and whine a lot and especially who blame women or the "unfair" world for not having dates / sex (I don't really see you as one of them) are by definition not likable. It's lame how they always say that people IRL have no idea that they are self absorbed in these negative ways. Well, maybe people don't actually get that, specifically. But I assure you that anyone who spends so much time on "poor me" is not a person who is socially attractive at all - not to even mention sexually. They're going to be projecting all that energy when they interact with others. A person doesn't have to be a mind reader to pick up on the fact that they don't feel like being around folks like that.

 

I know I'm harsh about this. But really. If you guys want to keep this up, then go for it - and start to accept that you will thereby also be keeping up the same lonely lives that you claim to dislike so much.

 

You want things to change for you? Change YOU. Certainly this won't guarantee that you will be getting the exact changes that you now wish for, but they will be an improvement, for sure.

 

SD is trying.

 

Or, you can just keep on whining and blaming.

Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted

Meh. I dare anyone who thinks they're not attractive to send me a picture, and I'll set you straight. I won't lie.

dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

Posted
Posted
I've been refraining from posting on this because I have mixed feelings.

 

On the one hand, I am glad for SD. I think this is great.

 

On the other hand, I STILL think he really needs to focus on finding his own happiness within. If things don't work out, yeah, he'll be able to say he had a girl for a short time, but I am pretty damn confident that he'll go back to being miserable. So seriously, unless this woman ends up being the woman of his dreams and stays with him for the rest of his life, he's only slapping a bandage on a stump.

 

I'd love to see, "I'm going out with this girl, but I'm also doing work on my own to see how I can be happy alone."

 

We can't really deny that often some attention from the opposite sex, even if it's fleeting tends to "artificially boost" someone's confidence long enough to realize that they CAN have someone if they put it out there more.

 

I've dated a few guys with 0 experience with girls, even guys in their early 30s who hadn't. What happened was kind of sadly funny. Like kissing a frog (NO SD I'M NOT REFERRING TO YOU!)

 

All of a sudden they'd be like, "oh hey, I'm not a frog, so I must be a prince!"

 

Then they'd try to get waaay more dates from other girls. And I would drop them because that's crap. Happened three times. Good for them and stupid for them in a sense. Whatever. Ancient history.

dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

Posted
Posted
Meh. I dare anyone who thinks they're not attractive to send me a picture, and I'll set you straight. I won't lie.

 

Mine is on my profile, with my husband and daughter and I am really, really done up in that pic.

 

I am so glad that my daughter looks like the better-looking members of my husband's family.:)

Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted

Artificial boosts are great...I guess. It's nice and easy to feel attracted, wanted, loved, etc. when people seem to like you.

 

Loving yourself when it seems (please note the usage of the word "seems") that everyone hates you or has disdain for you or thinks you're ugly? THAT is truly loving and being happy with yourself.

 

Being able to say, "Meh, **** them. It's their problem, not mine," when you truly honestly know you've done nothing wrong to anyone, but they still seem to dislike you, is A.W.E.S.O.M.E.

  • Like 1
Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

Posted
Posted
Of course..this board should make sure every topic is interesting to you..thats what we all strive for here!

 

All I ask is a reduction in identical posts from the same posters over and over. Is that unreasonable?

  • Like 1
Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted
Mine is on my profile, with my husband and daughter and I am really, really done up in that pic.

 

I am so glad that my daughter looks like the better-looking members of my husband's family.:)

 

I know what you look like. I will still electronically slap you if you ever call yourself ugly again. :love:

  • Like 2
Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted
All I ask is a reduction in identical posts from the same posters over and over. Is that unreasonable?

 

Does this mean I have to stop being happy and posting about people finding their happiness internally? :eek:

  • Like 1
PJKino Established Member

PJKino

Posted
Posted

 

 

 

Have a little self-respect.

 

I do which is why ive stopped giving women the power to reject me and sometimes cruely.

 

Do i take rejection too seriously? yes but after 30 plus years im tired of it, it can get exhaustingand ego bruising

Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted
I do which is why ive stopped giving women the power to reject me and sometimes cruely.

 

Do i take rejection too seriously? yes but after 30 plus years im tired of it, it can get exhaustingand ego bruising

 

Wow, I didn't know you were mid-40s or older.

JuneJulySeptember Established Member

JuneJulySeptember

Posted
Posted
I was being serious and trying to be helpful, since all other routes of advice seem to have failed, thus far at least. :(

 

If you are fed up of trying. Then don't try. Problem solved. :)

 

How else can I or anyone here possibly help you? :(

 

Yea. I guess that's life, huh? :lmao:

 

OK. I'll try and STFU and be happy with being unattractive.

 

Anyway, I don't want to derail my buddy's thread any longer. Good luck SD!

AD1980 Established Member

AD1980

Posted
Posted
I realize that's true. On the other hand, if you really ARE likable, I assure you that there ARE women who will fall for that and become interested in you in other ways.

 

Guys who come here and whine a lot and especially who blame women or the "unfair" world for not having dates / sex (I don't really see you as one of them) are by definition not likable. It's lame how they always say that people IRL have no idea that they are self absorbed in these negative ways. Well, maybe people don't actually get that, specifically. But I assure you that anyone who spends so much time on "poor me" is not a person who is socially attractive at all - not to even mention sexually. They're going to be projecting all that energy when they interact with others. A person doesn't have to be a mind reader to pick up on the fact that they don't feel like being around folks like that.

 

I know I'm harsh about this. But really. If you guys want to keep this up, then go for it - and start to accept that you will thereby also be keeping up the same lonely lives that you claim to dislike so much.

 

You want things to change for you? Change YOU. Certainly this won't guarantee that you will be getting the exact changes that you now wish for, but they will be an improvement, for sure.

 

SD is trying.

 

Or, you can just keep on whining and blaming.

 

I agree whining gets you nowhere just saying being likeable dosnt always translate to attratcive to the oppsite sex,my friends wives love me like a brother but always set up my better looking friends instead of me so i get the picture:laugh: but i hear what you're trying to say.

AD1980 Established Member

AD1980

Posted
Posted
Meh. I dare anyone who thinks they're not attractive to send me a picture, and I'll set you straight. I won't lie.

 

People here are way too kind to be honest ive sent pics out before and i know the response was just too be nice lol

Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted
People here are way too kind to be honest ive sent pics out before and i know the response was just too be nice lol

 

Nope, I am brutally honest.

  • Like 1
Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

Posted
Posted
Does this mean I have to stop being happy and posting about people finding their happiness internally? :eek:

 

Absolutely. It's definitely time for some whining out of you. Ideally where you blame the unfair world and in second place, all men. OK?

  • Like 3
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