Recently had a fun first date (she's newly single)

[veggirl]

This is great, that you are having your second date. Good for you. Make sure to kiss her this time. Don't let a second date go by without showing that kind of affection. And I agree with the others about no tongue at this point, but a nice, long kiss that takes her breath away is definitely the way to go. Don't make this a buddy date. It needs to be romantic. Don't shy away from that.

 

I agree. A kiss is a must, SD. Make it happen.

[tman666]

I'm rooting for you, somedude.

 

Just wanted to say this: don't force a kiss on her. If you can tell that she's not open to it, don't go for it just because a bunch of internet strangers told you that you HAD to do it to seal the deal.

 

Really, there is no "deal" or set time-clock. If she's flirting with you, subtly push the envelope with touching/closeness, and see how she reacts. Don't ask to kiss her or hold her hand or anything like that. Just act and react.

 

It sounds like you're doing pretty well though (other than the open declaration to her that you "have a history of getting friendzoned"). Keep playing it cool, and have fun. Even if it doesn't ultimately lead to a relationship, you're getting a chance to learn something and hopefully improve your outlook as a result.

[JuneJulySeptember]

OK, so I just talked to her and told her that I want the next time we go out to be an actual date.

 

The last one was kind of a gray area thing and she wasn't sure what to call it.

 

After telling her that I didn't want to go down the just friends path with her, that it leaves no room, for possibilities. She said it was understandable and agreed.

 

I've spent far too much time with girls where there was no chance anything happening. So this makes me feel better.

 

I wouldn't have stated it like that, but it doesn't matter. That is the 100% right attitude. Get your yes/no ASAP. Likely, she's already made her decision regarding you.

 

What may happen is that, she'll think about it and then flake before your next date. Been there. So be prepared for that.

 

But go through with it definitely. Man, I'm proud of you.

[oriole man]

This is great, that you are having your second date. Good for you. Make sure to kiss her this time. Don't let a second date go by without showing that kind of affection. And I agree with the others about no tongue at this point, but a nice, long kiss that takes her breath away is definitely the way to go. Don't make this a buddy date. It needs to be romantic. Don't shy away from that.

the kiss has to happen. no kiss and she loses respect for him as a man.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I agree that it's very bold, and bold is good. But you can also demonstrate confidence with actions. Do things that demonstrate romantic interest. I only say it's a weak move on his part because it gives off a bit of an air of desperation...or it makes it seem like girls do this to him all the time... He instead wants demonstrate to her that he has absolutely no doubt in his mind that she wants to date him as much as he wants to date her. Telling her what he told her shows that doubt loud and clear.

 

And after thinking about it some more, I don't really care for her response either, i.e., she "understands"... I think it was just an awkward situation for him to put her in.

 

I also think part of the reason that you think that is because you know his history.

 

If it was some tall handsome suave dude who has never had trouble with women, and she hears that, she's in the back room doing fist pumps.

 

But maybe a more average to below, and inexperienced backwards guy, then she's wary that he's too 'desperate'.

 

Context, huh?

[ThaWholigan]

I also think part of the reason that you think that is because you know his history.

 

If it was some tall handsome suave dude who has never had trouble with women, and she hears that, she's in the back room doing fist pumps.

 

But maybe a more average to below, and inexperienced backwards guy, then she's wary that he's too 'desperate'.

 

Context, huh?

Tall handsome dudes are not exempt from faux pas that f-ck things up for them .

[JuneJulySeptember]

Tall handsome dudes are not exempt from faux pas that f-ck things up for them .

 

Not all the time. Especially with hot girls.

 

But a lot of the time they are. They get a pass.

 

Besides, I was talking about it in context of the particular thing he said. If a really good looking suave dude made a comment like that to a woman, she'd be like "Oh wow. He LIKES me!"

 

BTW, there's also the possibility she thinks of him that way.

[oriole man]

Tall handsome dudes are not exempt from faux pas that f-ck things up for them .

agreed. a tall handsome dude who follows the nice guy routine is going to have very limited success with women. a guy needs to know who women work to have regular success.

[fortyninethousand322]

Tall handsome dudes are not exempt from faux pas that f-ck things up for them .

 

Not all the time. Especially with hot girls.

 

But a lot of the time they are. They get a pass.

 

Besides, I was talking about it in context of the particular thing he said. If a really good looking suave dude made a comment like that to a woman, she'd be like "Oh wow. He LIKES me!"

 

BTW, there's also the possibility she thinks of him that way.

 

 

I think it's a bit of both. Tall guys can certainly screw up things for themselves, but I think social awkwardness or faux pas behavior can be quirky or a total turnoff depending on the context. Mostly that context depends on whether or not the girl likes you.

 

If she likes you, it's quirky and cute. If she doesn't, you're a creepy weirdo and she'll want nothing to do with you.

 

Apologies to SD. He's doing so well so far which is why I've avoided his threads on the subject so I wouldn't jinx him. Hopefully I haven't...

[oriole man]

I think it's a bit of both. Tall guys can certainly screw up things for themselves, but I think social awkwardness or faux pas behavior can be quirky or a total turnoff depending on the context. Mostly that context depends on whether or not the girl likes you.

 

If she likes you, it's quirky and cute. If she doesn't, you're a creepy weirdo and she'll want nothing to do with you.

 

Apologies to SD. He's doing so well so far which is why I've avoided his threads on the subject so I wouldn't jinx him. Hopefully I haven't...

an awkward 6 footer will lose to a charismatic 5 footer near every time. note, some women will go for neither.

[JuneJulySeptember]

an awkward 6 footer will lose to a charismatic 5 footer near every time. note, some women will go for neither.

 

A good looking 6 foot man versus a guy who is 5 foot even?

 

Not a chance in the world for the latter guy.

 

Anyway, this is not new stuff for OP. He is well aware of all of it. Let's hope she thinks he is attractive and stick to his topic.

[oriole man]

A good looking 6 foot man versus a guy who is 5 foot even?

 

Not a chance in the world for the latter guy.

 

Anyway, this is not new stuff for OP. He is well aware of all of it. Let's hope she thinks he is attractive and stick to his topic.

if the foot 5 footer is charismatic and has good game, yes. especially if the 6 footer is socially awkward.

[veggirl]

I would LOVE if a guy I was interested in clarified we are going on a date not a buddy hang out. Go SD! It won't turn off a girl whose interested and it saves you time if she just wants a friend. Win-win

[oriole man]

I would LOVE if a guy I was interested in clarified we are going on a date not a buddy hang out. Go SD! It won't turn off a girl whose interested and it saves you time if she just wants a friend. Win-win

there's no doubts when a guy knows what he's doing. touching, kissing, sex.

[Woohoo]

Go for the tongue!!! Woot!

[xxoo]

It's probably better to boldly show that it's a date, rather than ask, but the truth is that a woman who is interested in you will cut you lots of slack.

 

Still, on the date, show her

[happykat]

Loving this thread, it's really sweet!

When is the next date? I need an update lol

[somedude81]

Loving this thread, it's really sweet!

When is the next date? I need an update lol

Tomorrow.

 

Yeah, this thread is really fun.

 

I did feel that me telling her that I wanted the next time we go out to be a date was rather bold, and I also wanted to make sure she understood my intentions. I'm sure many of you know that I've been in many situation with girls where frankly I was stuck in the friendzone.

 

With the boldness I expressed and her responses, I feel more willing to be risque.

 

As for the kiss, I'd like to but I'm not going to push it on her. Honestly, I'm simply not comfortable with kissing and I haven't even tried to kiss a girl in a very long time. But I will be watching her reactions and I'll try to be touchy-feely when I'm with her. I think it's also important that I don't try to force myself to kiss her when I'm not comfortable with it. Argh, I'll just see what happens.

[fortyninethousand322]

It's probably better to boldly show that it's a date, rather than ask, but the truth is that a woman who is interested in you will cut you lots of slack.

 

Still, on the date, show her

 

Absolutely true, from what I've seen...

[AlexDP]

Tall handsome dudes are not exempt from faux pas that f-ck things up for them .

 

I think the very minute I realised it didn't care what a woman might think if I did A or said B was the minute I got more successful with women.

 

When you're always on your guard, always thinking about what you should or shouldn't do, it becomes very uncomfortable for everyone involved.

 

That is pretty much the only faux pas there is.

[veggirl]

Touchy feely works if you aren't comfortable going for the kiss. Arm around her waist, maybe a teasing butt slap? Heh...my bf slapped my butt on our 2nd date when we hadn't kissed yet...

[Eclypse]

I would LOVE if a guy I was interested in clarified we are going on a date not a buddy hang out. Go SD! It won't turn off a girl whose interested and it saves you time if she just wants a friend. Win-win

 

That's true. On the first date with my now girlfriend I put my arm around her. I was so clueless, before the second date I asked her if she was ok if I did that again and that this was a real date! She agreed right away. I was similar to SD (first every relationship)

 

Eheh, I was so scared to kiss her I held her hand first. And like Veggirls bf my hand may have drifted to her butt a few times before I finally leaned in for the kiss.

 

No need to rush SD. Just let it progress naturally.

[FitChick]

No butt slap! She might punch you in the face! I would!!

[KathyM]

She WANTS to be kissed. Trust me. If she has an interest in dating you, she wants you to kiss her. This is not like some blind date where she may or may not like you. She has already agreed to an actual date. She has already decided she likes you and that you are date-worthy. Do not be conservative on this or hesitant. She wants you to kiss her. So do it. I can't think of even one guy that I dated that didn't go for the kiss on the very first date. This is not grade school. You don't stop at hand holding. Wait until the end of the date, and before saying goodbye, step in for the kiss, and a long embrace. No butt slapping, no nipple pinching. The kiss is what she wants. I don't know where these other dudes are from that are suggesting taking it slow and trying to read signals, but that's not going to fly in California. Make the move, and give her the kiss, so that she doesn't have to tear her hair out in frustration. You have nothing to lose by going for it. What's she going to do, slap you? No. She wants the kiss. She'll think you're shy or passive, or inexperienced, or socially ackward or clueless if you don't. This is the second date, after all. Should have been done on the first date, since you already had the connection.

[somedude81]

Wow, Kathy.

 

Arg, performance anxiety!