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Recently had a fun first date (she's newly single)

somedude81

By somedude81
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USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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Hmm, it seems she wants to text back and forth every night. The past few times she has initiated.

 

That means something right?

 

Yes it means something. It means a lot.

 

 

 

This pleases me.

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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LOL what?

 

Is their a cat currently sitting on your lap?

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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LOL what?

 

Is their a cat currently sitting on your lap?

 

Oh yea, one other thing.

 

Don't f*ck it up.

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Oh yea, one other thing.

 

Don't f*ck it up.

Hah, kind of hard not to f*ck up when I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm just trying to be funny and flirty.

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FitChick Established Member

FitChick

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Never ask a girl if you can kiss her! It gives her the opportunity to say no. Get a bit touchy feely on the date, like grabbing her arm to emphasize something you are saying or ushering her into the restaurant with your hand on her back if it can be done naturally. Holding her hand while you walk. Watch her reaction. If she leans into you, good. If she pulls away, bad! Not difficult. If you are at a table, lean in and look at her while she is speaking, don't lean back in your chair and scope out the restaurant as if you are bored. If the date went well, hug her tightly and for a bit longer than you would your granny. Put your cheek against hers and say something like "your hair is so soft" or "you smell good" and notice if she looks at you expectantly for a kiss. Then do it. No tongue unless she keeps it going.

 

It's good you will be going away because then you will give her time to think about you and the date and miss you.

Edited by FitChick
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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Never ask a girl if you can kiss her! It gives her the opportunity to say no. Get a bit touchy feely on the date, like grabbing her arm to emphasize something you are saying or ushering her into the restaurant with your hand on her back if it can be done naturally. Holding her hand while you walk. Watch her reaction. If she leans into you, good. If she pulls away, bad! Not difficult. If you are at a table, lean in and look at her while she is speaking, don't lean back in your chair and scope out the restaurant as if you are bored. If the date went well, hug her tightly and for a bit longer than you would your granny. Put your cheek against hers and say something like "your hair is so soft" or "you smell good" and notice if she looks at you expectantly for a kiss. Then do it. No tongue unless she keeps it going.

 

It's good you will be going away because then you will give her time to think about you and the date and miss you.

Yay, date tips!

 

" If the date went well, hug her tightly and for a bit longer than you would your granny. Put your cheek against hers and say something like "your hair is so soft" or "you smell good" and notice if she looks at you expectantly for a kiss. Then do it. No tongue unless she keeps it going."

 

Hah, right when I see my granny she expects a kiss on the lips. It's just something I have to do. Of course it would be completely different with this girl, but maybe I could pretend it's my grandmother to avoid getting nervous?

Els Established Member

Els

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maybe I could pretend it's my grandmother to avoid getting nervous?

 

ROFL no! Just... no. Anything is better than this. :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Wow, this texting back and forth thing. I'm not sure about it.

 

I'm assuming it means that she likes me. Which should mean I don't have too much to worry about if I try to kiss her in a few days. And I'm pretty sure I'll go for a big hug at the end and do what FitChick said.

 

I don't expect any tongue. Thankfully my grandma never gives me any, that would be weird.

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Teknoe Established Member

Teknoe

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her initiating texts and them being back and forth = a very good sign. Damn SD, there's definitely more than just potential here. I think it's clear she's digging you, so keep escalating.

 

Just have fun and remember no matter what happens, it could always be worse.

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xxoo Established Member

xxoo

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I just popping in to cheerlead :bunny:

 

Yay! Isn't it fun?

 

And remember--if you can do this with her, you can do it with others. The world is your oyster, young man! So relax and enjoy.

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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Somedude, you can be quite witty and funny. Just show her that side of yourself :bunny:

 

I think once you get that first kiss in the bag, things will go smoothly :)

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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I just popping in to cheerlead :bunny:

 

Yay! Isn't it fun?

 

And remember--if you can do this with her, you can do it with others. The world is your oyster, young man! So relax and enjoy.

That's actually something I've been really thinking about.

 

How come it's happened with her but it hasn't with any one else yet and it took me till I was 31? It's not like I acted any differently with her. I wonder if her BF being a stinker at the time I met her had anything to do with it? Of course she could have chosen a different guy in our class, but somehow she connected with me.

 

And yes, it's fun.

Somedude, you can be quite witty and funny. Just show her that side of yourself :bunny:

Oh, I definitely am. And she has great reactions to my jokes. So she gives me a lot of encouragement.

I think once you get that first kiss in the bag, things will go smoothly :)

Thanks, that will be really cool if true. I'll just have to see when I get there. I'm looking forward to what could happen, but I'm not going to rush into things.
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JuneJulySeptember Established Member

JuneJulySeptember

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Congrats man!!!

 

I will admit that you hooking up with this woman will perhaps allow me to see dating in a more favorable light. Perhaps. I'm rooting hard for you Somedude81. Keep posting updates.

 

On the other hand, my advice is this. Don't get too wrapped up in it. Take it for what it is. A chance. The bottom could still fall out and quickly. So, you don't want to over-invest, get rejected and then come back here pissed. The key word is 'temper'.

 

The other thing is, no matter what you do, the outcome is out of your control. Just so long as you don't do anything really obnoxious, it's likely out of your hands at this point. So, just get your yes/no and move along that path.

 

That's actually something I've been really thinking about.

 

How come it's happened with her but it hasn't with any one else yet and it took me till I was 31? It's not like I acted any differently with her. I wonder if her BF being a stinker at the time I met her had anything to do with it? Of course she could have chosen a different guy in our class, but somehow she connected with me.

 

And yes, it's fun.

 

Oh, I definitely am. And she has great reactions to my jokes. So she gives me a lot of encouragement.

Thanks, that will be really cool if true. I'll just have to see when I get there. I'm looking forward to what could happen, but I'm not going to rush into things.

 

Right. Don't jump the gun man. Nothing has happened yet. The reason it hasn't happened to you in 31 years (18 of those post puberty?) is because whether a woman is attracted to us or not is largely based on factors out of our control. That's why they call it 'getting lucky'!

 

Remember. Temper expectations.

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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OK, so I just talked to her and told her that I want the next time we go out to be an actual date.

 

The last one was kind of a gray area thing and she wasn't sure what to call it.

 

After telling her that I didn't want to go down the just friends path with her, that it leaves no room, for possibilities. She said it was understandable and agreed.

 

I've spent far too much time with girls where there was no chance anything happening. So this makes me feel better.

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Congrats man!!!

Thanks!

 

I will admit that you hooking up with this woman will perhaps allow me to see dating in a more favorable light. Perhaps. I'm rooting hard for you Somedude81. Keep posting updates.
I agree with you. Maybe it will help me see dating in a more favorable light :p

 

Though I'd hardly call it hooking up. Right now it's just a chance that something can happen.

 

On the other hand, my advice is this. Don't get too wrapped up in it. Take it for what it is. A chance. The bottom could still fall out and quickly. So, you don't want to over-invest, get rejected and then come back here pissed. The key word is 'temper'.
Yup, I completely agree.

 

Also for some reason, I'm not into her that much. Yeah I like her and am attracted to her, but there were other girls I liked more. But this has also helped me keep a cool head and take more risks. I'm sure I could eventually fall for her, though right now it feels like I'm just going ahead because she's a fun and pretty girl.

 

The other thing is, no matter what you do, the outcome is out of your control. Just so long as you don't do anything really obnoxious, it's likely out of your hands at this point. So, just get your yes/no and move along that path.

Heh, it's almost like my foot is on the gas and she's steering. If we crash it will be because of her.

 

 

Right. Don't jump the gun man. Nothing has happened yet. The reason it hasn't happened to you in 31 years (18 of those post puberty?) is because whether a woman is attracted to us or not is largely based on factors out of our control. That's why they call it 'getting lucky'!

 

Remember. Temper expectations.

Yup, it is all about luck. 18 years of going nowhere with women and I finally found a decent one that likes me.

 

Funny enough, I'm already starting to feel a slight boost in my confidence and I'm willing to be more bold.

 

And of course I'm going to keep my eyes open for other girls. Things with her could end at any time and I need to have plans B, C, D and E.

dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

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I don't expect any tongue. Thankfully my grandma never gives me any, that would be weird.

 

Omg, what does one even say to this?:lmao:

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Omg, what does one even say to this?:lmao:

That reaction is good enough :)

 

And she was cracking up when we went out last.

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Els Established Member

Els

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REALLY great signs here! Keeping my fingers crossed for you. :)

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USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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OK, so I just talked to her and told her that I want the next time we go out to be an actual date.

 

The last one was kind of a gray area thing and she wasn't sure what to call it.

 

After telling her that I didn't want to go down the just friends path with her, that it leaves no room, for possibilities. She said it was understandable and agreed.

 

I've spent far too much time with girls where there was no chance anything happening. So this makes me feel better.

 

I can't say that I like this move...this is not something that ever needs to be said. You actions should dictate the direction you're going. She doesn't need the play-by-play.

 

But her reaction was favorable, so it's not a complete miss.

 

Keep it up. :cool:

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happykat Established Member

happykat

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I can't say that I like this move...this is not something that ever needs to be said. You actions should dictate the direction you're going. She doesn't need the play-by-play.

 

But her reaction was favorable, so it's not a complete miss.

 

Keep it up. :cool:

 

I have to disagree - the fact that he was bold enough to state what he wants/doesn't want is so open, bold and confident.. I say great move! I think confidence is what attracts women most!

 

Also, I agree with the poster that said never ask a woman if you can kiss her.

 

Great thread, and from what I've read you will have no problem.. Yay you!

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USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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I have to disagree - the fact that he was bold enough to state what he wants/doesn't want is so open, bold and confident.. I say great move! I think confidence is what attracts women most!

 

Also, I agree with the poster that said never ask a woman if you can kiss her.

 

Great thread, and from what I've read you will have no problem.. Yay you!

 

I agree that it's very bold, and bold is good. But you can also demonstrate confidence with actions. Do things that demonstrate romantic interest. I only say it's a weak move on his part because it gives off a bit of an air of desperation...or it makes it seem like girls do this to him all the time... He instead wants demonstrate to her that he has absolutely no doubt in his mind that she wants to date him as much as he wants to date her. Telling her what he told her shows that doubt loud and clear.

 

And after thinking about it some more, I don't really care for her response either, i.e., she "understands"... I think it was just an awkward situation for him to put her in.

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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I agree that it's very bold, and bold is good. But you can also demonstrate confidence with actions. Do things that demonstrate romantic interest. I only say it's a weak move on his part because it gives off a bit of an air of desperation...or it makes it seem like girls do this to him all the time... He instead wants demonstrate to her that he has absolutely no doubt in his mind that she wants to date him as much as he wants to date her. Telling her what he told her shows that doubt loud and clear.

 

And after thinking about it some more, I don't really care for her response either, i.e., she "understands"... I think it was just an awkward situation for him to put her in.

 

I agree with this....

Woohoo Established Member

Woohoo

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In late.

 

Your doing good, keep it up!

 

All I have to say is seek to express yourself in as many different ways as possible. Not merely verbally.

 

The most powerful is to look in someone's eyes with total vulnerability and confidence and smile. That is the best response. The "look" if you will.

 

When you sit at a table, tell her to move over and sit beside her, not across. Say that you "like this better" and give her the "look."

 

Also, ENJOY silence with her. This is a powerful one. Let yourself enjoy it while close. She will vibe on it. In a hurry but hope this helps.

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Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

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I agree with what USMCHokie is saying. What's done is done and I wouldn't worry about it she obviously likes you. Thing is don't ask her if she likes you, or if it's a date anymore. Just accept that she likes you and go for it.

 

Also - and PLEASE don't take this in a negative way, because that is not where I'm coming from at all:

 

I'm sure you're aware that you are taking risks far outside of your usual comfort zone. This is GOOD. You are (I hope) learning a bit more with every step you take.

 

Outcome is not guaranteed. Not for ANY of us who put ourselves out there and are vulnerable. But it's what ALL of us need to do in our lives to go towards what we want.

 

My point in all of this is to encourage you to keep it up without being super goal-oriented about it. I hope that it turns out that the two of you really like each other and that a relationship develops, and all seems very positive so far. Even if it does not, though, you have still made progress NO MATTER WHAT. You are doing the right thing by yourself, and it's what you need to continue on THIS path to change your pattern, which has been suffocating you.

 

Dating and looking for longterm companionship and love is always risky and experimental to some degree for everyone.

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KathyM Established Member

KathyM

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This is great, that you are having your second date. Good for you. Make sure to kiss her this time. Don't let a second date go by without showing that kind of affection. And I agree with the others about no tongue at this point, but a nice, long kiss that takes her breath away is definitely the way to go. Don't make this a buddy date. It needs to be romantic. Don't shy away from that.

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