tbf Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 You're right. That statement is not backed up. Would you agree that it wouldn't be in a girl's best interest to admit to something like that? "Yes I like guys that create drama in my life. That way I can complain about him with my friends and feel morally superior to him once he comes crawling back apologizing."What? Do you always make things up, just to be right?
thefooloftheyear Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 (edited) I personally like to feel very secure and wanted. This isnt directed at you..EP..So please dont take offense.. Women want to feel "secure and wanted"...OK great- I get it....Usually that requires time and effort from the guy...Fine as well...We are on the same page. Then you hear that women like the kind of men who are successful, financially secure, ambitious, driven. etc.... And they also dont want a fat and lazy guy, but rather one who is fit, muscular and athletic... As men, how do we balance it all without making you feel insecure or unwanted? Because lets face it........ If we go to the gym and get all buff and ripped up that takes time. If you dont want to come along(and btw-the couples I see at the gym are usually doing more chatting and playing than really working out), that is going to take time away from you. Then many women start to get jealous(and perhaps insecure) because your new body attracts interest from other women..sometimes their own female friends, no less!.. Then the issue of work/career..You want a guy thats driven..A guy thats succesful and brings home the bacon, so to speak...Well, unless you are a rock star, matinee idol, or pro ball player, most other ways of being driven and successful require a large investment of time and effort..Late nights at the office..After hours meetings with clients...Phone calls in the middle of dinner time..Travel..Emergencies that require attention at the drop of a hat..That type of stuff...(this is the kind of thing that makes some women feel unwanted).. This was my ex/w's Mantra. All she did was complain that I wasnt showing her enough attention. I was "never around". Shed say this despite never really working the entire duration of the marriage and the few years that she did it was only part time and accounted for little more than lunch money. I never complained about that aspect. All I did was provide her with a fully paid for 3500 sq foot luxury home in one of the most exclusive parts of the country, fancy cars, vacations, jewelry...the whole deal..Where did she think the money came from to pay for all that? And while I am sure that if I had a regular 9-5 gig that id be around more, the reality is/was that when I was around I was fully invested..I would love to come home to enjoy the fruits of my hard work..It just seemed like it was never enough.. Moral here is that if you are a woman and want those things that you all say you want, then realize the effort and time investment that requires. And unfortunately that usually means time/attention taken away from you...There is no "free lunch" ..with respect for this. If you arent ready to accept that, than find an out of shape postal employee(no disrespect to them) and be happy with what you have. OK rant over:laugh: TFY Edited July 5, 2013 by thefooloftheyear
patrol Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 (edited) What? Do you always make things up, just to be right? Nvm let's not fight. Edited July 5, 2013 by patrol 1
KungFuJoe Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 This isnt directed at you..EP..So please dont take offense.. Women want to feel "secure and wanted"...OK great- I get it....Usually that requires time and effort from the guy...Fine as well...We are on the same page. Then you hear that women like the kind of men who are successful, financially secure, ambitious, driven. etc.... And they also dont want a fat and lazy guy, but rather one who is fit, muscular and athletic... As men, how do we balance it all without making you feel insecure or unwanted? Because lets face it........ If we go to the gym and get all buff and ripped up that takes time. If you dont want to come along(and btw-the couples I see at the gym are usually doing more chatting and playing than really working out), that is going to take time away from you. Then many women start to get jealous(and perhaps insecure) because your new body attracts interest from other women..sometimes their own female friends, no less!.. Then the issue of work/career..You want a guy thats driven..A guy thats succesful and brings home the bacon, so to speak...Well, unless you are a rock star, matinee idol, or pro ball player, most other ways of being driven and successful require a large investment of time and effort..Late nights at the office..After hours meetings with clients...Phone calls in the middle of dinner time..Travel..Emergencies that require attention at the drop of a hat..That type of stuff...(this is the kind of thing that makes some women feel unwanted).. This was my ex/w's Mantra. All she did was complain that I wasnt showing her enough attention. I was "never around". Shed say this despite never really working the entire duration of the marriage and the few years that she did it was only part time and accounted for little more than lunch money. I never complained about that aspect. All I did was provide her with a fully paid for 3500 sq foot luxury home in one of the most exclusive parts of the country, fancy cars, vacations, jewelry...the whole deal..Where did she think the money came from to pay for all that? And while I am sure that if I had a regular 9-5 gig that id be around more, the reality is/was that when I was around I was fully invested..I would love to come home to enjoy the fruits of my hard work..It just seemed like it was never enough.. Moral here is that if you are a woman and want those things that you all say you want, then realize the effort and time investment that requires. And unfortunately that usually means time/attention taken away from you...There is no "free lunch" ..with respect for this. If you arent ready to accept that, than find an out of shape postal employee(no disrespect to them) and be happy with what you have. OK rant over:laugh: TFY Did you ever consider that your ex might have just wanted to spend more time with YOU, and not the house, jewelry, car, etc? 1
thefooloftheyear Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 Did you ever consider that your ex might have just wanted to spend more time with YOU, and not the house, jewelry, car, etc? :laugh: I dont know where you live, but here you need 100K just to break poverty level..So if you arent a brain surgeon, hedge fund manager, or high powered attorney you are going to have to work hard...VERY hard.. to just survive. The property taxes on that house is more than some people make an entire year. Yes, its that crazy. Even those guys work crazy hours..so...(shrug) Even with all of that I didnt go out with buddies or anything..The only time I was away from home I was either working or at the gym..I spent more time at home than a lot of my friends that worked regular jobs, because a lot of them belonged to volunteer fire depts and did other various things to get away from their wives. I have no problem with scaling down my workload. But be prepared to live in a shythole and struggle and fight over money..Pick your poison...Its not Fantasy Island. TFY
KungFuJoe Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 :laugh: I dont know where you live, but here you need 100K just to break poverty level..So if you arent a brain surgeon, hedge fund manager, or high powered attorney you are going to have to work hard...VERY hard.. to just survive. The property taxes on that house is more than some people make an entire year. Yes, its that crazy. Even those guys work crazy hours..so...(shrug) Even with all of that I didnt go out with buddies or anything..The only time I was away from home I was either working or at the gym..I spent more time at home than a lot of my friends that worked regular jobs, because a lot of them belonged to volunteer fire depts and did other various things to get away from their wives. I have no problem with scaling down my workload. But be prepared to live in a shythole and struggle and fight over money..Pick your poison...Its not Fantasy Island. TFY And you still didn't answer my question. That in itself is very telling.
thefooloftheyear Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 And you still didn't answer my question. That in itself is very telling. Work on your comprehension. Skippy...Its all there in plain sight. Fights and arguments over money trump ANY other problem in any relationship. She/we never had to worry about money-ever. Not a bad deal-especially considering I did all the lifting. We were totally financially independent by the time we were in our late 30's..Most people just get started at that point. So I am now supposed to be punished for being a successful guy? Huh? Like I said in the previous post..I was home as much as any other guy, maybe more-even though I ran two businesses at one time. How much more "available" could I have been? Answer that question. Unless I wanted to be homeless, I had to work a lot. Moving isnt an option and I am not LeBron James. And she got everything she wanted. I offered to scale back, but frankly we would have starved. So I dont get why you are jabbing at me. all you are doing is taking the thread off its original intent. The original point was/is that if you hear women they talk about wanting a successful guy, a "go-getter"..A type A. But then they complain if that guy has work committments that come along with that lifestyle. Either you want that or you dont. Then be happy with your slacker guy that cant hold down a job or is a low level nobody but is around all the time. Its a contradiction...Thats all I am saying.. TFY
Emilia Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 Fights and arguments over money trump ANY other problem in any relationship. That hasn't been my experience. What do you base this particular generalisation on?
thefooloftheyear Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 That hasn't been my experience. What do you base this particular generalisation on? Just drop it, Em.. Just being combative...we disagree, but its all good. TFY
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